DoloresHaze

So, I just had the lovely experience of spending my first 6 days of sobriety in the hospital. I'm home now and it's day 7.

I don't feel any sense of pride or clear-headedness. Every minute that goes by I just feel scared and ashamed about the past. I know that years of abuse can't be undone in 1 week, but i thought I'd feel better than this.

I don't feel like drinking, but I'm super depressed. It's like, even though I haven't had a drop in about a week, i feel like I'm still in a downward spiral as opposed to gaining back my health. I think it has something to do with doctors telling me how stupid I am for the past 6 days. Some doctors gave me hope, and some treated me like a walking corpse.

Has this happened to anyone else? When did you start to feel healthier and stronger? When did you let go of the past and feel excited about the future?

As for AA meetings, I'm starting tomorrow.

least

One week is very early in recovery. Give your body and brain more sober time to heal and get back to normal. It will get better.

Soberwolf

Well done DH

tommyinphilly

It took me a while to get used to life after rehab. Besides the embarrassment, I realized that I have not been bored in a long time. If I wasn't doing anything meaningful, I was drinking. I hope that it's similar for you. It gets better. Good luck. AA helped a lot also.

hiddenzebra

A week is quite early in the process.

I know I still felt pretty lousy at that point.

It gets better

DoloresHaze

Tell me about it. For years my bedtime was when the booze ran out. Whether it was 9pm or 1am, it was "well, the rum's gone. Goodnight!"

Last night my eyelids were fluttering by 8:30. Part of that was that I didn't know what to do with myself because I wasn't drinking. Also, getting sober is emotionally exhausting.

This is my favorite time of the year. The Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas season. Hopefully I'll have plenty to do and feel healthy and happy enough to do them.

DoloresHaze

I feel like I still look like crap, feel like crap, and i'm a lazy, no-good moron for doing all this to myself.

There was only one nurse who I could relate to a little. He's 51 now and a recovering alcoholic. At 37 he had 2 seizures, a stroke, and nearly a heart attack. He now has a career, his health, and perfect liver enzimes. It's stories like that that give me hope.

four812

Hello dh and good job. You are off to a good start.

Even if it don't feel good that's normal and ok.....some people can feel better after a short time and others take a while. Either way it may tend to be swings of ups and downs as you stay sober. Hopefully you will get some hope and have an up day soon.

The main thing is to give it a chance. Maybe tell yourself that no matter what you will stay clean for 90 days and then take a look at things.

For some people going to meetings helps a lot. Some people even go to multiple meetings a day. If you got nothing to do or you don't want to do anything then going to lots of these meetings can be helpful too....just going to them gives ya something to do and you can get "charged" up with the desire to get and be and stay sober. especially if you make some good contacts/connections with people you relate to and even spend time together after the meeting or something.

Hope you are feeling something positive about yourself and life very soon so that you are feeling a little better.
Good luck

GracieLou

Take it easy.

I know that I wanted everything now because that is what booze gave me, I got relief now and sobriety takes a little longer before we feel the relief of being out of the alcoholic jail. I had to remember that I did get where I was in one day and I was not going to get out of it that fast either. It takes time. Get rest. It felt like the first couple months all I wanted to do was sleep.

Be patience and if you have a program start working it and if you are not, then get one, now.

There is nothing worse then sitting around fighting with yourself whether to have a drink or not.

Tamerua

It gets better, promise. But it takes time and work and reflection.

How about a meeting today?

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DoloresHaze

I missed the meeting today. I'm going to have to catch one tomorrow.

biminiblue

In the meantime read around these forums - there is a lot of wisdom here, and many different recovery stories and methods.

I spent a lot of time here - a lot - in my first couple months. It was pretty much, eat, sleep, SoberRecovery, AA meetings, internet research, reading recovery books and a little exercise and lots of Netflix.

Welcome to the site and congratulations on taking back your life.

Lusher

Hey DoloresHaze-

First, congrats on the first week. That's a great step forward.

For me, I started feeling much better once I was able to redefine who I was. Before, I was Lusher, the guy who loved to drink. Simply removing alcohol really did not do much, other than still being Lusher, the guy who's not drinking, but who still wants to. That sort of left me feeling empty and out of sorts. I did not feel like I belonged anywhere on a social level.

As time went on I began to reinvent myself, and after some more time went by, I began feeling much better, and still continue to.

I think it's really key to find something to focus on; be it health, education or whatever. Simply removing booze, but living the same exact lifestyle, makes staying sober a bit difficult, IMHO.

I really think that if you hang in there and give this whole sobriety thing a real chance, you'll find yourself in a much better place.

I hope to see you around.


Lusher

rjask

DoloresHaze . . . I can relate.

I'm only on day four, and I've spent the day wondering why my stomach and abdomen still feel awful.

Then I remember that I spent years torturing my body, and it will take some time for things to heal. And I also have those moments where I think my body won't heal, so I should just keep drinking.

So, I'm trying to stay focused, visiting SR, focusing on recovery and trying to be patient. That's something we both need to work on.

Good luck . . . .

GettingClean9

Just wanted to add that I completely and totally relate. I'm on day 6 and it has been ups and downs, highs and lows.

Mostly lows.

This gets better, right? It has to.

GracieLou

It gets better. Hang in there. Take one day at a time, or one hour at a time if needed.

Just don't drink and get to meetings, post on here, pray. Do all of those things.

I never thought myself out of drinking, I had to act my way out by doing things to prevent the mind spins. Meetings, reading, posting, talking, praying and sleeping all kept me sane.

That 24 hours sober does not require you to be awake. Many bad days I cut that 24 hour off at the knees an went to be early. It kept me sober a few nights.

Briar

A week in I think I felt worse because my mind was clear enough to see how bad it was and how much work was ahead. It helps when you start talking to others in your situation and learning how to get started on your recovery. I needed a very specific plan to start.

LimaBean3000

Hang in there! I'm glad your starting AA. I would share how you are feeling in the meeting and people will support you. I just did that in an AA meeting last night and cried in front of 25 people. You know what? After the meeting every single one of them came up and hugged me and told me they cared & it would get better.

All the women gave me their phone numbers and I'm meeting some of them at other meetings this week. All the people in AA have most likely been where you are. They understand. They want to help you. Helping you keeps them sober.

GettingClean9

This describes how I feel perfectly.

PurpleKnight

7 days is early days!!

If your drinking put you in hospital it's gonna take time, it took years to get you to this place, it's going to take more than a week for your body to heal and repair!!

Hang in there!!