You say it's your birthday....it's my birthday too yeah
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
You say it's your birthday....it's my birthday too yeah
Friends are taking me out tonight for my bday. I haven't said anything about not drinking. I know they will want to toast me.
Strategies?
I don't want to call off the celebration....
Strategies?
I don't want to call off the celebration....
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Happy birthday! I think you already know the answer to your question, don't you?
Think about it logically for a second. You are going out with friends ( who drink I assume ) to celebrate your bday most likely someplace where alcohol is readily available, and they will all be drinking. And they dont know you arent drinking. Can you not see the obvious trap you are setting yourself up for?
One strategy would simply be to not go. It is an option, you can just say you arent feeling up to it....which is true. Not going is ALWAYS an option.
The other option is of course to go and simply say you are not drinking. Do you feel strong enough to resist their drinking advances ? They will try and twist your arm, it's just the nature of the atmosphere.
Think about it logically for a second. You are going out with friends ( who drink I assume ) to celebrate your bday most likely someplace where alcohol is readily available, and they will all be drinking. And they dont know you arent drinking. Can you not see the obvious trap you are setting yourself up for?
One strategy would simply be to not go. It is an option, you can just say you arent feeling up to it....which is true. Not going is ALWAYS an option.
The other option is of course to go and simply say you are not drinking. Do you feel strong enough to resist their drinking advances ? They will try and twist your arm, it's just the nature of the atmosphere.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Happy birthday, ArtFriend!
I would tell them BEFORE the event that you don't want to drink, and would prefer to go to someplace where alcohol is not the main spectacle (eg. not to bars or clubs). It's your day, I think that puts you in the position that you can choose the theme of the event. Or if you feel uneasy about it in general, just don't go out. Maybe invite your friends in if you can afford it.
I told all of my colleagues and keep telling old and new friends that I don't drink. I don't usually say it out of the blue, but when the topic comes up and there is context for it. I really only need to say it once, no one ever asked why I don't drink. The consequence is that sometimes I don't get invited to events where drinking and getting drunk is really the main theme... like a housewarming party of a colleague tonight. She told me about it though and that she invited the whole crew, except the non-drinkers (there is a couple of us in that group). yeah, I am grateful
I told her have fun, and meant it wholeheartedly. I'm going out tonight with a guy instead that I met recently... and I am choosing the place. We'll go to a museum and then most likely a movie, then I don't know but no drinking that's for sure 
Please be wise, ArtFriend. And have fun!
I would tell them BEFORE the event that you don't want to drink, and would prefer to go to someplace where alcohol is not the main spectacle (eg. not to bars or clubs). It's your day, I think that puts you in the position that you can choose the theme of the event. Or if you feel uneasy about it in general, just don't go out. Maybe invite your friends in if you can afford it.
I told all of my colleagues and keep telling old and new friends that I don't drink. I don't usually say it out of the blue, but when the topic comes up and there is context for it. I really only need to say it once, no one ever asked why I don't drink. The consequence is that sometimes I don't get invited to events where drinking and getting drunk is really the main theme... like a housewarming party of a colleague tonight. She told me about it though and that she invited the whole crew, except the non-drinkers (there is a couple of us in that group). yeah, I am grateful
I told her have fun, and meant it wholeheartedly. I'm going out tonight with a guy instead that I met recently... and I am choosing the place. We'll go to a museum and then most likely a movie, then I don't know but no drinking that's for sure Please be wise, ArtFriend. And have fun!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
The plan was to go to a TexMex restaurant that has what we call "kiss-a** margaritas". I guess I could just say that I am not feeling well enough for such strong drinks (and I really am not...stomach issues). But I don't want to ruin it for them by cancelling altogether. I don't think there would be much push back from them if I can't drink alcohol. They know my medical issues right now. I probably won't be able to eat too much either as TexMex is pretty heavy duty.
Thank you all for the advice. I think after all my tests are finished etc. I will announce my sobriety to them.
Thank you all for the advice. I think after all my tests are finished etc. I will announce my sobriety to them.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by ArtFriend 
The plan was to go to a TexMex restaurant that has what we call "kiss-a** margaritas".
I dont know you or your friends, but from the outside this looks like a disaster waiting to happen.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
Just tell them why you don't drink. They are your friends they will respect your decision to not drink. You don't have to lie about why your not drinking because then you will have to lie the next time too.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I think Scott's advice is sound, even if you don't feel it applies to you AF
There are some good tips here for social occasions:
http://www.cryingoutnow.com/2010/11/...val-guide.html
Not all of them may apply tonight but it's still worth a read
Personally, I find 'no thanks I'm not drinking' has real power.
Happy Birthday AF
D
There are some good tips here for social occasions:
http://www.cryingoutnow.com/2010/11/...val-guide.html
Not all of them may apply tonight but it's still worth a read
Personally, I find 'no thanks I'm not drinking' has real power.
Happy Birthday AF
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
