Briar

This is the first night since I got sober where it's bedtime, and I'm still thinking about work. This is the kind of stuff that makes me want to drink so I can stop thinking about it.

I got a call today from a client who was very upset because she has been given a great deal of conflicting information from different people in our organization. It's a big mess, none of which was my fault, but because I'm the one who knows how to navigate the system and tie the information together, I'm the one who gets to apologize for everyone else's mistakes and bear the brunt of the client's anger when she finds out she's not getting the large sum of money someone else told her she was.

This happens sometimes, but it really got to me today. I just wasn't in the mood to get berated for something that I had nothing to do with. I wrote a novel of an email explaining the situation (without placing blame on anyone, framing it just as "this is what the client perceives") and sent it to everyone who has been involved in the case asking for their input. I also copied my boss because for one this nonsense makes us look like a bunch of jackasses, but also because I'm tired of taking the heat alone for stuff like this. She's the boss, right? If her staff gave misinformation, shouldn't she be the one to clear it up, not me? But I'm sure my colleagues will assume I'm trying to rat them out. And frankly, I kind of am.

So now I'm thinking about how I probably should have kept my boss out of it and just dealt with my equals. I feel like maybe I acted impulsively out of frustration. But the other half of me feels like bringing her into it was totally appropriate given the circumstances.

I really don't know, but I do know that I can't turn my mind off, and I would love to drink to drown it out.

Thanks for listening. Sorry for the megavent.

Dee74

Hi Briar

I think this is one of those situations where it's done - you can't take emails back.

Personally I think involving your boss is probably not such a bad idea, as they should know about stuff like this.

I had real trouble letting things go too....but I learned.

I do all I reasonably can...then I let it go.

I can't manage the universe, only my little piece of it - y'know?

You don't need to drown it out...just landscape it a little...
take on whats your responsibility and leave others to take up theirs

D

Hope4Life

I know exactly what you are experiencing, Briar. I call it 'spinning'.... when those thoughts just keep my mind trying to find a solution to the problem.

Dee, as usual, is totally right. You have done your part, now you'll need to wait for the input you are seeking and for direction from your boss. Just release it and let it go.

I'd suggest your favorite music to help you break the cycle. That always works wonders for me!

FeelingGreat

Briar is there anything you can do that challenges your mind, like a video game or sports, or cooking something difficult? It is hard to turn off obsessive thoughts, but it can be done, and for the sake of long-term sobriety, should be. Some ideas:
- pet, walking, playing with
- online games
- reading
- exercise
- social activities; walking with others is great
- master a cooking style e.g. Thai
- a handyman project

It might also be beneficial to talk to a therapist. Your work may provide one free?

Nuudawn

Argh... I hate the "obsession" thing. It's haunts ya like a housefly in your bedroom after you've turned out the lights.

I've been struggling with obsession myself for past great while. And when I'm in the heat of it...I figure if I take some sort of action...I will solve it! Ya well..that doesn't always work...and I STILL obsess.

Patience...time...it gets solved or resolved or what-have-you.
We need to endure..go with the flow...allow.
It's hard.
I know.
Oh man do I know...

Wastinglife

That's why i am awake at 3am here! I log in to SR when I get theses ruminations. I see a therapist for an hour once a week. I hate my job right now, but need it to pay the bills (Don't we all?). My therapist says that this is very common and I need to reach out to people to get things off my chest for the times I can't meet with the therapist.

SR is a great 24/7 way to vent!

Briar

Thank you guys for the support and understanding. I know obsessing is a common experience, especially for us, but in the moment it sure is uncomfortable. I woke up this morning still thinking about work (something different even, something that didn't even really bother me, why I'm thinking about it now is beyond me). Going to cook something complicated to distract myself, just have to decide what.