doggonecarl

“When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
--Alexander Graham Bell

Alexander Graham Bell wasn’t talking about recovery, but he could have been. By coming to SR, we are seeking to close the door on our addiction. But when we close that door, we often fail to see the one that opens—the door to our recovery.

How many of us, when we quit our drug of choice, mourn it? How many of us look back at our using and drinking days a little wistfully? We remember the fun, the companionship of our fellow addicts and drinkers. With alcohol in particular, we have television ads promoting the romance and allure of drinking. So when we quit, we miss it. A door of happiness has been closed.

And even if your memories aren’t fond and fun-filled ones, alcohol and drugs worked for what we used them for: escape, for coping, for dealing with disappointment, anger, and shame. When we quit we close the door on how we dealt with life.

Closing the door means change. And people do not like and, therefore, resist change.

But as Bell points out, if you stare too long at the closed door, you miss the one that has opened. Life, not just recovery, is about opportunities for development and growth. This is what lies beyond the open door of recovery. Don’t stare at the closed door. Don’t linger too long in the limbo of the two doors. This is where people who are miserable in their sobriety reside, not able to open the door and embrace recovery, unable to learn how to live and love their sober life.

These are the folks who walk back through the door of addiction. Every day on SR there are dozens of posts from those who have relapsed, who thought happiness lay beyond that closed door of their old life. And they are wrong. The lucky ones come back and tell us so. The unlucky don’t.

SoberLeigh

Nice post, doggonecarl; thanks.

Nonsensical

Well writ.

MIRecovery

The doors that have opened are amazing. Friends, relationships, spirituality, health, career, activities, hobbies, being of service.

When I quit drinking there was little doubt in my mind that the world had ended and I was condemned to a horrible and boring life. Happiness was a thing of the past and the only thing I had to look forward to was craving a drink 24X7

As with so many things in sobriety my thinking was the problem and not drinking was the solution

Woohoo

Thanks for this write..it is so true!

newhope01

Enjoyed reading this as it has become food for thought for me.

Something I may share with some other folks.

Thank you.

Hope4Life

I always enjoy your take on our disease Carl.... thanks for another excellent post!

helpimalive

This is great! I'll try to remember it tonight when I'm angry at my tea again for being tea.

GracieLou

"When one door closes another door opens....but the hallways are a bitch!"

The point is not to stay in the hallway to long. Keep moving! Action.

If you sit to long you will find yourself knocking on the door that closed instead of walking through the one that is open.

ScottFromWI

Thanks for the post Carl. Closing that one door ( addiction ) actually opened a multitude of doors for me.

lostinthetrees

Great post. Thank you.

patricia68

Thank you, that was just what I needed today.

Nonsensical

I had the same experience.

It was very hard for me to break the cycle of alcohol (ab)use I was in. It was SO HARD not to stare at that closed door. People here at SR told me it would get better if I just stayed on the sober path.

And they were very very right about that.

malcolmsloan

Great post. Thanks for taking the time to articulate this important lesson. I don't think I was ready to truly move forward in recovery until I realized that I lose NOTHING by quitting alcohol.
onward!

Charlie117926

Great post Carl and as usual your right on point. Thanks for taking the time to share.

LBrain

thanks carl,

Magellan

Great post Carl, I've been thinking about that door and being able to enter that hallway on Day1 and as I progress each day down the hallway the voice that keeps telling me to come back gets a little softer and harder to hear and I'm optimistic that one day I won't here it any longer. I'm down the hallway and don't want to go back.
Thanks

Nuudawn

Thank you Carl...that quote is one of my favourite although I had no idea it was Bell's. I feel fortunate to have been able to recall how much "bigger" my life was in the brief sobriety I experienced last year. Sobriety is bigger and full of so many "yes's" and open doors...

Alcoholism/addiction is the prison so very hard to escape..especially with the key in our own pocket.

Deleteda

Awesome, thanks Carl X