Caring enough about yourself to quit
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
It absolutely makes sense, and I can relate. It took me being sober for a while in order to grow in appreciation of myself, then toward liking myself, really liking parts of myself, and suddenly... I realized, we have limited time here, why not fight for myself? Why not go all out, and get on the same team with myself? 
So, I finally got on my team and am now pulling for me 
I know how silly this sounds, but it's true. It took me the first year or so to come around to loving myself and realizing that I came into this world alone, I'm going out alone... what the heck am I going to do in the meantime? I better square some things away, put some things to rest, come to terms with my gripes about the way X body part looks, and the way I always do X under pressure instead of being perfectly calm, etc. The world responds a bit differently to you once you are "ok" with yourself, that's what I've come to realize lately. It puts the power back in my hands, to make some good changes. Once I could accept myself for what I am, right where I am, without wishing to be someone or somewhere I'm not, then I have some amazing ability to work with what I've actually got
So, you might have to quit first! And stick with it, fight through the early part, and come out on the other side... liking yourself in ways you wouldn't have before. I'm an intellectual, and so I've always tried to think my way through everything. Getting sober required me to act. The action was the key. The self-compassion, self-esteem, and likability will come later. So give yourself the chance for it to happen.
So, I finally got on my team and am now pulling for me I know how silly this sounds, but it's true. It took me the first year or so to come around to loving myself and realizing that I came into this world alone, I'm going out alone... what the heck am I going to do in the meantime? I better square some things away, put some things to rest, come to terms with my gripes about the way X body part looks, and the way I always do X under pressure instead of being perfectly calm, etc. The world responds a bit differently to you once you are "ok" with yourself, that's what I've come to realize lately. It puts the power back in my hands, to make some good changes. Once I could accept myself for what I am, right where I am, without wishing to be someone or somewhere I'm not, then I have some amazing ability to work with what I've actually got So, you might have to quit first! And stick with it, fight through the early part, and come out on the other side... liking yourself in ways you wouldn't have before. I'm an intellectual, and so I've always tried to think my way through everything. Getting sober required me to act. The action was the key. The self-compassion, self-esteem, and likability will come later. So give yourself the chance for it to happen.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
This is one of the areas in which I had to 'fake it to make it'.
I had a rough childhood too - I didn't feel as if I had any intrinsic value, I had little notion of self care...but I gave myself over to the idea of acting as if I did.
I figured if it didn't work After say 3 or 4, maybe 6 months I'd just stop.
The AV will push the line of you can't quit drinking because you don;t care for yourself enough - but thats nonsense.
Stop drinking anyway - there's not a damn thing your AV can do about it
I quit...and thankfully few months in, my perception changed - years of alcoholism finally released their grip on me and I began to believe in my own worth.
I'm sure you will too AF.
Do it like you mean it...and one day, soon, you will.
D
I had a rough childhood too - I didn't feel as if I had any intrinsic value, I had little notion of self care...but I gave myself over to the idea of acting as if I did.
I figured if it didn't work After say 3 or 4, maybe 6 months I'd just stop.
The AV will push the line of you can't quit drinking because you don;t care for yourself enough - but thats nonsense.
Stop drinking anyway - there's not a damn thing your AV can do about it
I quit...and thankfully few months in, my perception changed - years of alcoholism finally released their grip on me and I began to believe in my own worth.
I'm sure you will too AF.
Do it like you mean it...and one day, soon, you will.
D
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