Staying away from alcoholic friends
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Staying away from alcoholic friends
Hello,
I'm having a difficult time quitting drinking due to the fact that all my friends are avid drinkers. Yesterday I had a very bad hangover at work and felt disgust ed with myself. As I start to learn about myself, I always abused a substance growing up and now that I'm 28 years old I feel stuck. I get urges to drink as soon as I get out of work and don't know when to stop. I know my toxic relationship with friends is holding me back and it's hard for me to be lonely and look for new friends.
I need more guidance and will post more often here. I remember I went 3 months clean with help here then relapse thinking that I could drink back to normal now I'm back to day 2
I'm having a difficult time quitting drinking due to the fact that all my friends are avid drinkers. Yesterday I had a very bad hangover at work and felt disgust ed with myself. As I start to learn about myself, I always abused a substance growing up and now that I'm 28 years old I feel stuck. I get urges to drink as soon as I get out of work and don't know when to stop. I know my toxic relationship with friends is holding me back and it's hard for me to be lonely and look for new friends.
I need more guidance and will post more often here. I remember I went 3 months clean with help here then relapse thinking that I could drink back to normal now I'm back to day 2
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by GhostFace 
I'm having a difficult time quitting drinking due to the fact that all my friends are avid drinkers.
Sorry for the bluntness. The fact is, you've been struggling for months and months to get sober, GhostFace. Many of your posts read the same, with you coming to SR, vowing to quit, promising to post more on SR. You talk the talk of getting sober, but until you walk the walk, you'll keep on struggling.
There is an out, but it takes action. On your part.
I will NOT drink to that!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Baltimore MD USA
Posts: 634
Ghost Face,
I understand how hard it is to not drink when everyone else around you does. In my case my drinking partner is my husband. He still drinks everyday, it gets lonely sitting on the couch with someone that is passed out drunk.
What I hated most about drinking was the weight gain, the hangover, my feelings of powerlessness, & feelings of worthlessness. Everyday I tell myself that I am worth it and that my 3 year old daughter needs me. Last night I almost relapsed when my husband did his regular nightly liquor store run. Instead of asking for some vodka, I asked for a soda instead. That was my victory last night.
Today, tell yourself how much you love yourself & how you want to take better care of yourself. When it comes to quitting you just have to do, there's no in betweens. Even if it means finding new friends.
You can do this, I believe in you.
I understand how hard it is to not drink when everyone else around you does. In my case my drinking partner is my husband. He still drinks everyday, it gets lonely sitting on the couch with someone that is passed out drunk.
What I hated most about drinking was the weight gain, the hangover, my feelings of powerlessness, & feelings of worthlessness. Everyday I tell myself that I am worth it and that my 3 year old daughter needs me. Last night I almost relapsed when my husband did his regular nightly liquor store run. Instead of asking for some vodka, I asked for a soda instead. That was my victory last night.
Today, tell yourself how much you love yourself & how you want to take better care of yourself. When it comes to quitting you just have to do, there's no in betweens. Even if it means finding new friends.
You can do this, I believe in you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
I know I sound like a broken record repeating my self. So far I've been reading the big book and going through the steps and taking inventory of self. The only valid answer would be to leave my old friends and deal with the loneliness until I get myself together
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Allentown,pa
Posts: 396
Hey ghost face killah, I'm a 28 yr old male as well and I'll my good friends drink.
And I found if I wanted to change I had to stop making excuses.. It's rough in the beginning because your so used to the routine but it gets easier in time.
Some people will say get rid of your friends, I didn't I just was stern with them "I'm not drinking anymore get use to it" they accepted it, I might not be as fun as I use to be.
But I feel so much better about my life
And I found if I wanted to change I had to stop making excuses.. It's rough in the beginning because your so used to the routine but it gets easier in time.
Some people will say get rid of your friends, I didn't I just was stern with them "I'm not drinking anymore get use to it" they accepted it, I might not be as fun as I use to be.
But I feel so much better about my life
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
You are fortunate, GhostFace; you know and recognize the obstacles - drinking friends and loneliness.
You may have to give up those drinking friends for awhile; if you can fill the time you spend with your drinking friends with other activities, it seems you will be killing two birds with one stone. Can you vow to go the gym directly after work or volunteer at a soup kitchen or go to an AA meeting at drinking time; what about spending time with SR?
You may have to give up those drinking friends for awhile; if you can fill the time you spend with your drinking friends with other activities, it seems you will be killing two birds with one stone. Can you vow to go the gym directly after work or volunteer at a soup kitchen or go to an AA meeting at drinking time; what about spending time with SR?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,499
You do know that you have to step away from your drinking friends and that's good. Yes, it's hard, but you can do it. Many of us have had to do that. Why not get involved in volunteer work in your community? You can give back and you can meet new people in a non-drinking environment.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
I have a simple question.... would you give your 'friends' the keys to your house if you needed to get out of town for a while? If not, then they are drinking buddies and not true friends. Friends are people you trust... no matter what.
I know that it is hard to walk away but it can be done. In my case, I walked almost 7 years ago and soon realized who my 'true' friends were. Not 1 of the people I used to drink and party with called or came by to see how I was doing.
It sounds like you are attending AA meetings and working the steps. You can find some sober friends there if you stick around after meetings and talk with people. I was isolating for years before I went to my first AA meeting. Now I have several close personal friends in the program and have changed my life 100%.
Remember the only step you need to do perfectly is step 1. Once you can admit to yourself that you have a problem, great things will happen going forward.
Good Luck!
I know that it is hard to walk away but it can be done. In my case, I walked almost 7 years ago and soon realized who my 'true' friends were. Not 1 of the people I used to drink and party with called or came by to see how I was doing.
It sounds like you are attending AA meetings and working the steps. You can find some sober friends there if you stick around after meetings and talk with people. I was isolating for years before I went to my first AA meeting. Now I have several close personal friends in the program and have changed my life 100%.
Remember the only step you need to do perfectly is step 1. Once you can admit to yourself that you have a problem, great things will happen going forward.
Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi GF.
I’m also a person who calls it the way it is.
You seem to casually mention reading the Big Book, that’s good, now study it and PRACTICE what’s in it. Has it ever been suggested to attend a LOT of meetings to learn how it works. Much of what we learn are from sober people here and at meetings. Your friends may have great intentions but probably don’t have a clue about staying sober and that’s the type of people to hang around with.
BE WELL
I’m also a person who calls it the way it is.
You seem to casually mention reading the Big Book, that’s good, now study it and PRACTICE what’s in it. Has it ever been suggested to attend a LOT of meetings to learn how it works. Much of what we learn are from sober people here and at meetings. Your friends may have great intentions but probably don’t have a clue about staying sober and that’s the type of people to hang around with.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
The closest I've been to A was when I had my first DWI and had to take a course. It opened my eyes when two spokes person came and shared there stories on how bad life was and they were able to change base on sobriety.
I have a Kindle copy of the big book and I'm planning on doing a AA meeting online tonight. The craving really hit as soon as I get out of work and Thursday - Saturday are my heavy drinking day.
I have a Kindle copy of the big book and I'm planning on doing a AA meeting online tonight. The craving really hit as soon as I get out of work and Thursday - Saturday are my heavy drinking day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Originally Posted by Hope4Life
I have a simple question.... would you give your 'friends' the keys to your house if you needed to get out of town for a while? If not, then they are drinking buddies and not true friends. Friends are people you trust... no matter what.
I know that it is hard to walk away but it can be done. In my case, I walked almost 7 years ago and soon realized who my 'true' friends were. Not 1 of the people I used to drink and party with called or came by to see how I was doing.
It sounds like you are attending AA meetings and working the steps. You can find some sober friends there if you stick around after meetings and talk with people. I was isolating for years before I went to my first AA meeting. Now I have several close personal friends in the program and have changed my life 100%.
Remember the only step you need to do perfectly is step 1. Once you can admit to yourself that you have a problem, great things will happen going forward.
Good Luck!
I know that it is hard to walk away but it can be done. In my case, I walked almost 7 years ago and soon realized who my 'true' friends were. Not 1 of the people I used to drink and party with called or came by to see how I was doing.
It sounds like you are attending AA meetings and working the steps. You can find some sober friends there if you stick around after meetings and talk with people. I was isolating for years before I went to my first AA meeting. Now I have several close personal friends in the program and have changed my life 100%.
Remember the only step you need to do perfectly is step 1. Once you can admit to yourself that you have a problem, great things will happen going forward.
Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by GhostFace
The friends I had made so far are not even as what I would consider real friends. It's just a crowd of people I associate with on a daily bases after work and have drinks and conversate. The last few years have been wasted by this association. We share thing in common but majority have no ambitious besides going to work and getting hammered on the weekend. They say birds of a feather flock together and I see a reflection of me that I do not like
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