Bailey3

I knew an early death was coming my way. I was slowly killing myself with my drinking. My internal organs were swollen and painful. Suddenly one night, in the bathroom, I realized I wanted to live and have a life. I truly think God performed an intervention.

I don't want to be remembered as the alcoholic who drank himself to death. I want to be remembered as a good person who led the best life he could.

Bailey3

Thanks for the thread JT. It's threads like these that make me think, realize and, come to terms with why I drank.

Jipsee

Yes, all of the above.

Fly N Buy

Being of a stubborn nature, sure I am the only one - it took me awhile. I had some flash bulbs go off over the years, but was still waiting to see what developed.

I reviewed the pictures in the last several months and it was not a pretty collage. A myriad of hazy images appeared out of the darkroom:

Dad, you're and ******** and a drunk - no one else has the courage to say it, so I will = 18 year old son.

Drinking friend who got DUI. Mother who died as a result of alcoholism. Father who was in the program got sober and relapsed when his higher power - wife/mother passed.

Wife who walked around me like a zombie - numb to all my ****. No dialogue, just grunts.

The final straw......The daily look of despair in the eyes of my loved ones reflective of my hopelessness.

Enough!!!

Today is day 151 !
A look of hope from all is what I see today in my families eyes, by grace..
fly

patricia68

I woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed and just stood there in the dark for like 5-10 minutes...I couldn't remember the way to my own bathroom...

Waterfalls2014

It's two fold for me. I'm just sick and tired of the obsession over drinking only to feel horrible the next morning. And I want to be a good example for my child.

Jake1961

I knew for a couple of years that I'd have to stop "some day". Drinking slowly increased, 12+ hour binges on days off were normal. Just got tired of being a drunk and realized if I didn't stop I'd crawl into a bottle and die.

Stopped when I hurt my back last summer and went on narcotic pain killers. Did not want to mix them with alcohol. I was VERY careful with the pills and only needed them for about 6 weeks.

Been a little over 3 months since my last drink and I don't miss it at all and I feel better about myself and life in general.

Inchworm

Through Ancestry.com I met a cousin from Italy who had stopped drinking wine several years ago. She told me a lot about our family there and how alcoholism has affected some of the uncles. It made an impression and when she came to visit in August I gave up the vino.

silentrun

My 16 year old got caught drinking the night before. My goofy dog had an intestinal block from chewing blankets because I was usually to zoned out to take them away. I took him to the vet in an ice storm and in the vet's office filling out paperwork with the writing so shaky it looked like a 90 year old woman wrote it out it just all hit me this was really happening. I had a voice inside my head say "this is where it all falls apart" and then another that said "it doesn't have to be that way" then finally it said RUN!

razor15

This August, I felt my sanity slipping away. I was living in a dream. Repeating everyday just like the last. I had stopped caring about virtually everyone and everything. I knew I was no longer the person I really was when absent of alcohol. I only despaired.
It was not a particular incident. It was the insidious deterioration of what was to have been a promising, fulfilling life.

I look forward to being the man once again, that was originally meant for this earth.

Link91

Mine was a culmination of the old adage of "I was sick & tired..." My big "a-Ha" moment was my youngest daughters 3rd B-Day, I was in such withdrawl & suffering insane Anxiety on a daily basis-I was a miserable SOB. I checked myself into inpatient a few days later-best decisions I have ever made for myself & family. 16 months later I still consider myself lucky to be alive & be the husband I need to be & the father I want to be.

SnowDawg

Bone crunching panic attacks in the last year. Ending up in the detox center being transported in a van with a cage with vomit in the cage.

XIIIXXIXXVI

Mine was coming to the realization that I was losing everything I had worked for - relationships, my job, my place, etc. At that point I knew it was time to bite the bullet and pull my life together.

lillyknitting

I desperately wanted to stop, for years. I was doing the same old thing week after week after week. Mixing with the same old crowd. Eventually the whole thing bored me to death. Like they say I was on a merry-go-round, waking up the next day, wanting to die, feeling terrible, hangover so bad like a nervous breakdowns that would last well into the next week. Eventually every time I thought of a drinking night out it filled me with horror having to go all through that again.

Deckard

This is a superb thread.

Waking hungover and groggy and suffering, I used to say to myself, "There must be a better way...." I don't know why this phrase, but that's what I would mutter.

Finally I didn't just say it, I believed it.

And then I found it.

alaek

i think mine cumulated over time. i'd been thinking of quitting for years. i went to AA meetings but then i would drink again. each time i tried quitting i gave up, and i'd drink even more and almost try even HARDER to black out and get even more drunk than the last time i drank. i really didn't give a fcuk anymore. i went from drinking to get drunk to drinking to get blacked out. i wanted to black out. the last time i drank, i downed half a bottle of vodka, snuck it into a club, finished it, of course blacked out, got into a fight with a completely random guy outside of a club, pushed him into moving traffic, almost had the cops called on me... basically made a fool of myself (for the millionth time) but enough was enough. i was tired of feeling like crap about myself and waking up regretting everything from the night before or barely remembering anything. i knew that if i was thinking of quitting for such a long time, it obviously was important to me and probably wasn't going to change, so i should just do it already.