Struggling
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 109
You may very well be right that anxiety is the underlying reason for drinking. It's the case for many people. It is the case in my family where alcoholism runs generational as does anxiety. You seem to recognize that drinking makes it worse even though in a strange way we feel it relieves it. I had the same symptoms you are having. It's a tough road but one that is doable especially with your insights into drinking and your not wanting it to continue. Keep posting for support and keep your chin up.
Keeping my head up!
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 52
Welcome sunrise! You are already making a great first step forward with posting! As has been said before, at 26 I was without a doubt that I had a problem, a BIG problem with alcohol...as most young people do, I just convinced myself I could control it and quit before it got out of hand...WRONG! Almost dead wrong several times! Keep your head up, make use of this great tool of SR and look forward to a beautiful S U N R I S E!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 37
Thank you so much everyone. My husband came home and first thing offered to make me a drink. Man I wanted it. I said no, and he went about making his own. Here I am at 915pm sitting on the couch stone sober while he's passed out. I logged on here several times for encouragement. It's not going to be easy, if it's even doable, to stay sober with a man that drinks. Does anyone have any suggestions or insight?
As far as my goals go, I mostly just want to be a sober mom. I have toddlers. I don't want them to live like this. I need to be the example for them. I have a solid career and some college degrees and I've served 8 years in the military so far; I don't know if ppl know how bad my problem is. They insist I don't have one, and it's convinced me to start drinking again several times.
That's enough about me; thank you all so much for getting me through day 1. I'm off to see if I can encourage others before I head to bed - sober
As far as my goals go, I mostly just want to be a sober mom. I have toddlers. I don't want them to live like this. I need to be the example for them. I have a solid career and some college degrees and I've served 8 years in the military so far; I don't know if ppl know how bad my problem is. They insist I don't have one, and it's convinced me to start drinking again several times.
That's enough about me; thank you all so much for getting me through day 1. I'm off to see if I can encourage others before I head to bed - sober
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Welcome sunrise, and so very glad you joined us. Your story is also familiar to me. My dad died at quite a young age of organ damage related to alcoholism. I swore, after watching his death when I was 18, I would never be like him.
Well, guess what? Fast forward five years and I was off to the races. Fast forward another 13 and I had turned a glass of wine or a few beers a few times a week into a bottle to two bottles of wine a night (more on weekends). Along with the panic/anxiety and heart palpitations and the deep-seated knowledge that I would try to ignore that I was an alcoholic. That word, that problem, was the scariest thing in the world for me. But once I admitted it, to myself, it was almost like I couldn't NOT do something about it anymore. Not unless I wanted to destroy my entire life, which I was slowly but surely doing.
I was also, during most of that time, in a long term relationship with someone who drank almost as heavily as I did and the thought of getting sober while he was drinking kept me from doing it for a long time. And, for me, I wasn't able to do it. I eventually had to leave the relationship to get and stay sober myself but that was because of me, not him. But there are plenty who do and who do it successfully. As others have said, it is all about support. I use a combination of AA and SR but many use just SR (and also getting some help on the Family and Friends page here) to stay sober.
Whatever way you do it, you can most certainly be successful. It sounds like you are well on your way in at least acknowledging the problem. I wish I had been as brave and as smart as you are when I was 26. It took me another decade, unfortunately. But I will tell you, almost two years in, it is the best decision I have ever made in my life. Scary at first? Hell yes. Difficult? Sure, some days more than others. Worth it? Words can't even begin to describe how very worth it...
Welcome again, we are so glad to have you as part of our family
Well, guess what? Fast forward five years and I was off to the races. Fast forward another 13 and I had turned a glass of wine or a few beers a few times a week into a bottle to two bottles of wine a night (more on weekends). Along with the panic/anxiety and heart palpitations and the deep-seated knowledge that I would try to ignore that I was an alcoholic. That word, that problem, was the scariest thing in the world for me. But once I admitted it, to myself, it was almost like I couldn't NOT do something about it anymore. Not unless I wanted to destroy my entire life, which I was slowly but surely doing.
I was also, during most of that time, in a long term relationship with someone who drank almost as heavily as I did and the thought of getting sober while he was drinking kept me from doing it for a long time. And, for me, I wasn't able to do it. I eventually had to leave the relationship to get and stay sober myself but that was because of me, not him. But there are plenty who do and who do it successfully. As others have said, it is all about support. I use a combination of AA and SR but many use just SR (and also getting some help on the Family and Friends page here) to stay sober.
Whatever way you do it, you can most certainly be successful. It sounds like you are well on your way in at least acknowledging the problem. I wish I had been as brave and as smart as you are when I was 26. It took me another decade, unfortunately. But I will tell you, almost two years in, it is the best decision I have ever made in my life. Scary at first? Hell yes. Difficult? Sure, some days more than others. Worth it? Words can't even begin to describe how very worth it...
Welcome again, we are so glad to have you as part of our family
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Grass Valley, CA
Posts: 358
Welcome Sunrise, lots of us have been where you are. I don't have any advice about your husband, some people it's not a problem, others it is. I can't be around alcohol at all, so I sympathize with your situation. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 668
Hi and welcome I'm on day 8 but since I joined SR I've racked up far more drink free days than drink infested days lol I'm reading rational recovery and using AVRT, and the people here have been soooo supportive and non-judgemental. You can do this with the right support. Would your husband agree to make your home alcohol free? My husband is still drinking but he doesn't have a problem and can have a couple of beers and stop. My poison was wine.
I'm on day 8 but since I joined SR I've racked up far more drink free days than drink infested days lol I'm reading rational recovery and using AVRT, and the people here have been soooo supportive and non-judgemental. You can do this with the right support. Would your husband agree to make your home alcohol free? My husband is still drinking but he doesn't have a problem and can have a couple of beers and stop. My poison was wine.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: swindon uk
Posts: 14
Hi sunrise, I only joined this week, I've been heavy drinker for years and fully dependant on alcohol for about a year, I'm going in to my 4th day and SR has helped me so much, when I'm wide awake at 3am instead of trying to drink myself to sleep I have just been logging on looking at posts visiting the chat room there seams to always be someone who understands. Alcohol used to feel like my only friend now I feel I have hundreds. Good luck with your recovery
I will NOT drink to that!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Baltimore MD USA
Posts: 634
Sunrise, I have a drinking husband too. So far I have managed to stay sober for 9 days. I hate looking over & seeing my husband passed out on the couch when I would love to have a nice conversation.
You can do this!
You can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by JT0626 
Sunrise, I have a drinking husband too. So far I have managed to stay sober for 9 days. I hate looking over & seeing my husband passed out on the couch when I would love to have a nice conversation. You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Brooklyn
Posts: 8
Sunrise, welcome! I'm also 26 with a long family history of alcoholism and anxiety. Like with you, people in my life say I don't have a problem and continue to ask if I want a drink (I'm still newly sober). But that's because I was so good at lying to them and hiding it, and they didn't experience the panic attacks and self-loathing every day after drinking. I'm still figuring out how to navigate social situations, it's really hard but I keep reminding myself that sobriety and mental health is my #1 priority right now. Nothing else can be as important!
I don't have a lot of advice but I'm here to support you. Thanks for your posts.
Ps- I'm sorry about your dad, and I applaud your service.
I don't have a lot of advice but I'm here to support you. Thanks for your posts.
Ps- I'm sorry about your dad, and I applaud your service.
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