DoubleFelix

Hey Bradley, I've had very similar thoughts myself. Some were actually pretty wild, like - "Well, I don't really know if I'm an alcoholic, I should keep drinking and if things get worse I'll stop, because then I'll know for sure."

Silly thought, right? There's just no logic in it. That's cause it was my alcoholic voice talking, and not the real me. Seems like your in a similar place. My advice is the same as those above - stop now. Now! We all know how scary it is. We've been there, and know you can get through it. Stop today, man.

bradley26

Thank you everybody for your'e advice , i know i want to stop i just cant. I keep putting it off and putting it off. Its hard when u have no real life friends and no one to support u . The most scary thing is that i see the problem and i want to change its just that i feel alone . I dont wanna bore people with my story on here so im keeping it short .

instant

There is part of me that wants to drink and &&& everything else. It doesn't really care about "me" either- it just wants to drink

Thats the deal- I had to learn to live with it

A sober life is possible- but tomorrow never comes

endlesspatience

You are in London. So am I.

There are over 700 AA meetings per week in the London area.

You say you can't go because 1. You can't drive. 2. It may not be for you.

Almost no-one in London drives anywhere as you well know. You can walk to a meeting or go on public transport like everyone else.

And I think AA is for you. Because you are an alcoholic. So it's for people like us, of course.

You're not special and different. As will be plain to see when you get to a meeting.

You say you have no friends and no-one to support you. You can change that if you go to AA.

The next step if you don't is that your parents no longer tolerate you and then you'll be even more lonely.

Get to a meeting, man.

Soberwolf

You can most definatly stop nobody is forcing you to drink your choosing to drink your AV is running rampage

i am pretty solo and dont rely on support (apart from sr) my sobriety comes from my acceptance that i dont i cant drink safely let alone responsibly anymore plus you couldnt pay me a billion bucks to drink full stop.

once i had that i started to change my life wasnt easy it was tough in the beginning but life gets better and it becomes natural its wonderful

your not boring and having no support sure makes it tough but not impossible

your here and you have recognised its now time to stop drinking as you dont really want to live like this right ?

good luck friend

Dee74

The longer you put it off Bradley the harder it's going to be.

If you feel unsupported you can easiily fix that
Think about what Sthlondonab said...and maybe use us a little bit more too.

if AA is not your thing try SMART or LifeRing or counselling...even inpatient or outpatient rehab.

The National Alcohol Helpline-UK - Tel: 0800 917 8282
Offers help to callers worried about their own drinking; support to the family and friends of people who are drinking; advice to callers on where to go for help.

UK National AA Helpline
08457 697 555

http://www.smartrecovery.org.uk/

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/

http://lifering.org/international-websites/lifering-uk/

http://www.addaction.org.uk/

http://www.alcoholconcern.org.uk/con...cohol-services

some NHS links
http://www.nhs.uk/servicedirectories...ceType=Alcohol


The supports there - at whatever level you want.

D

PurpleKnight

7 weeks ago I offered the advice of using SR, there's someone here 24/7 to give support.

I also mentioned the danger of doing things alone, my own mind would grind me down in isolation.

Nothing will change unless you try something different Bradley, but you have try something, not go back to the same routine with no support and expect things to change somehow!!

ScottFromWI

Nothing good in life is easy Bradley. And it's always possible to come up with an excuse as to why you CAN'T do something.

You aren't boring us at all, most of us have been exactly where you are at some point. Endlesspatientce had a fantastic post for you as a fellow resident of London - and he's spot on, there is zero excuse for you to not at least try a meeting to see if it helps. Pretty much every problem you list above is a direct result of your drinking problem. And a solution to all of them is out there - you just have to take the next step and seek it.

littlefish

And you are assuming you will just be able choose the day you stop?
I wanted to get all my drinking in before I quit for good but the date kept getting postponed, for 30 years.

Aellyce

Bradley, I see in you a pattern very similar to a number of other people I've seen and communicated with over time here on SR. Namely, that you say you want to quit, and you do for periods of time, but then go back to drinking, say you can't maintain sobriety, and blame this at least in part on being alone and unsupported. Please don't take this as criticism... but man, you live in London! I lived there for 3 years in the past so am familiar with the myriads of opportunities to do interesting things, meet people, even just be around people everywhere... I loved that city in a similar way I love NYC now. Recovery meetings would probably be good for you, but there are so many other options to spend free time with fun things, and meeting people in a city like that... I think you stay alone only if you want to and do not explore. Do you suffer from social anxiety or anything like that? If so, get help with that...

Seriously, in an environment like yours, I think we stay alone when we choose not to make ourselves un-alone. But we need to make the effort to start!

Soberpotamus

The way I was able to stop drinking on the day that I did was by envisioning what my life might look like without the alcohol. I gave it serious consideration. Details. I got really detailed and played a little movie in my mind of how it might be for me if I was no longer a drinker. It really worked.

Why not pause today... just stop everything you're thinking or doing. Pause. And imagine you, your life, without alcohol. What could you be doing? What would you want to be doing? Then, fast forward a couple of years. Can you imagine what would be possible if you were to stop right now?

You absolutely CAN stop today.

Realizing that option for myself made it "click" in my mind. All of the hell, all of the heartache could come to a screeching halt. You might not be at the perfect place tomorrow. It might take you a little while, but once you know that alcohol is the one factor that is going to prevent you from reaching your goals... take that and run with it.

You CAN stop drinking today.

Fly N Buy

Christmas 1985 I made a firm decision to quit drinking January 2 1986.
I missed it by a little - my sobriety date is 06/09/2014.

As you can read from the posts, people are here to help and care.......

bradley26

Well i just woke up its 6am and i feel pretty crappy. I just read all the replies and advice given and theres no excuse for me really. Admittedly i was a little drunk last night but reading this now while im soberish is embarrassing. My next drunk date was going to be the 5th of december when i am meeting friends for a night out and then i was just gonna have a few at christmas ready to start a fresh at new year but no good is gonna come of it so i think ill just stop now. Its hard with these crazy thoughts and i thought i was doing a good thing by getting my drinking in before i finally quit.
I feel like such a scumbag when i come on here for help and advice and i dont take it i feel ashamed sometimes.

This whole AV thing is doing my nut in as well. I thought i had it understood but it seems i dont. The real test for me will be on the 5th next month as ive never gone out with people and not drunk. I have to get a 1 hour train and i have thoughts like '' i need a couple for the journey'' , its very strange and frustrating thinking this way.

Dee74

any thought that drinking again is a good idea is your AV Bradley.
Great decision to stop now, man

D

Marcher13

Bradley I just did a rough count of names on this thread and as of now there are about 40 people speaking their support for you, that's forty people who care about you and your sobriety. I am quite confident that there will be more after this post, I am one of many who care about you and support you.

It's a brave person who steps out towards recovery and you can be one. I know this because I was afraid of the decision too but I did it with SR. You can start right now by walking to one of the 700 London meetings endlesspatience mentioned.

I just checked, it's 9am in London and it's going to be a nice autumn day. How proud would you feel to go walking to a meeting, meet some real life supporters, come home and tell your Dad and then tell us.

TopEndChick

Get a start on it now. All the best to you

nigey1

Wow that says it all.

I really get where you are coming from though.

Like you Brad I kicked and screamed and stalled sobriety, feeling exactly like you do now. With the benefit of some sober reflection time and I believe Its because deep deep down I knew what I was doing was wrong. Yep its that simple....

That little grain of truth was eating away at me, no amount of liquid could drown it out. No amount of excuses could cover it up. Here I was wanting to be one of the good guys leading a productive life for my family and yet my drunken behaviour was at polar opposites with this inner desire.

I had to simplify it to "I cant drink anymore" and just not drink. Get rid of all the excuses and self delusional bull dust reasons I fed myself and as they say the truth has set me free.

If I hadn't done this, I reckon I would've easily been like fly n buy and pushed it out another 20 odd years.

I really hope you decide to try today.

JanieJ

Good decision, Bradley.

Please get to a meeting today, on the tube or bus.

AA is full of people who will understand you. just go and listen. You don't have to say or do anything.

You have a whole life ahead of you that you can be proud of, and you can make your parents proud too.

Go man go, we're all behind you

ccam1973

Bradley, exactly this. Now you have 41 people who responded and care. I won't belabor all of the great points that have been made here.

I think you realize it's time to stop now, not tomorrow or next year. I spent 21 years doing that then another 9 months drinking through last holiday season.

You can do this, strength comes with time spent not drinking. It's tough as hell, but achievable and empowering every time you beat your AV and dont take that first drink.

you can do this!

jagger2012

Make that 42...I remember a big drinking outing xmas 2000, I had been working for 3 months straight and hadn't drank the whole time, a buddy and I decided a nice camping, (read:drinking trip), was in order and then back on the wagon and such after the new year...welllllll, I got drunk, passed out a little to close to the campfire and suffered 3rd degree burns that required skin grafts! This stuff happens to real people...DO NOT DRINK TODAY! Can you imagine having to spend 6 days on a burn ward? If you haven't, you can't imagine it! And I was there due to self inflicted, self destructive, totally unavoidable behaviors. Please little brother...dig out some support and hang with SR!