Need advice, please help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 33
Need advice, please help
I don't know what to do. Since May of this year I've "sobered up" 3 times. The first time was awesome. I didn't know what I was doing but this site helped me out immensely. I was also prescribed oxazepam by a dr at the emergency clinic for withdrawals. I was sober for 28 days and lost about 25 lbs.
On the 28th day I felt great! No more withdrawals. I was alert and full of energy, so I drank.
Since then I have gone to my personal dr and been prescribed the same withdrawal medication twice. Both times I was sober for only a short period of time.
I WANT to quit. For good. Forever. What am I doing wrong? How to I go back to the same dr again asking for help?
If any of you reading this are the praying type, please say one for me.
On the 28th day I felt great! No more withdrawals. I was alert and full of energy, so I drank.
Since then I have gone to my personal dr and been prescribed the same withdrawal medication twice. Both times I was sober for only a short period of time.
I WANT to quit. For good. Forever. What am I doing wrong? How to I go back to the same dr again asking for help?
If any of you reading this are the praying type, please say one for me.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
JT - Glad you are here and posting.
I had to get a real plan together - it evolves, but I had to come to the realization I simply could never drink "normally" again.
For me, my path along with SR is AA - I found at first I had to go, now I want to!
Regardless - please make your plan to change and do something differently.
Drugs from the doc are fine to start with, but for me as an alcoholic - I would always work around that or convince myself I could return to drinking. That never worked out....
I needed a program to help me Stay Stopped!!!
Please keep posting!
fly
I had to get a real plan together - it evolves, but I had to come to the realization I simply could never drink "normally" again.
For me, my path along with SR is AA - I found at first I had to go, now I want to!
Regardless - please make your plan to change and do something differently.
Drugs from the doc are fine to start with, but for me as an alcoholic - I would always work around that or convince myself I could return to drinking. That never worked out....
I needed a program to help me Stay Stopped!!!
Please keep posting!
fly
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by JTtexas 
I didn't know what I was doing but this site helped me
On the 28th day I felt great! No more withdrawals. I was alert and full of energy, so I drank.
I WANT to quit. For good. Forever. What am I doing wrong?
On the 28th day I felt great! No more withdrawals. I was alert and full of energy, so I drank.
I WANT to quit. For good. Forever. What am I doing wrong?
Did you post about it ?
my suggestion : stay with us this time dont give up because as you said this site helped you when you didnt know what you were doing
Really nice to meet you welcome back
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome JTexas. It took me a few attempts to finally quit too after a long drinking career. For me there were 2 main things I was missing in my early attempts.
The first was unconditional acceptance of the fact that I am an alcoholic and that I can never expect to drink moderately. Which in essence means I accept that I cannot have even the first drink....because beyond that, I have no control - and I will never be able to regain that control.
The second was to have a concrete plan for my sobriety. There are many, many different plans/methods. AA of course is one of the most common and popular. AVRT is one of the more popular secular/self paced methods. Even sites like SR can be considered a recovery method by some. There are also many more, you can read about them here. But he bottom line is you have to have some type of formal plan. And especially in early sobriety, you need to follow the plan each and every day. For some people that means going to an AA meeting every day - some even go to more than 1 a day. If you are using a self-paced plan like AVRT, you need to make time each and every day to read and follow through on it's teachings, and learn how to apply them in real life.
I view alcoholism as a chronic illness, but one that I can control 100 percent with the proper treatment. And the treatment is my sobriety plan.
The first was unconditional acceptance of the fact that I am an alcoholic and that I can never expect to drink moderately. Which in essence means I accept that I cannot have even the first drink....because beyond that, I have no control - and I will never be able to regain that control.
The second was to have a concrete plan for my sobriety. There are many, many different plans/methods. AA of course is one of the most common and popular. AVRT is one of the more popular secular/self paced methods. Even sites like SR can be considered a recovery method by some. There are also many more, you can read about them here. But he bottom line is you have to have some type of formal plan. And especially in early sobriety, you need to follow the plan each and every day. For some people that means going to an AA meeting every day - some even go to more than 1 a day. If you are using a self-paced plan like AVRT, you need to make time each and every day to read and follow through on it's teachings, and learn how to apply them in real life.
I view alcoholism as a chronic illness, but one that I can control 100 percent with the proper treatment. And the treatment is my sobriety plan.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
I was alert, full of energy so I drank...
Obviously, you experienced the 28 day cure. Then you discovered there is no such thing.
Next time you reach 28 days and are feeling good, remind yourself you feel good because you stopped drinking. And drinking again erases it all. Don't pick up that first drink, don't think you can ever pick up that first drink. It's evil.
Obviously, you experienced the 28 day cure. Then you discovered there is no such thing.
Next time you reach 28 days and are feeling good, remind yourself you feel good because you stopped drinking. And drinking again erases it all. Don't pick up that first drink, don't think you can ever pick up that first drink. It's evil.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by JTtexas
What am I doing wrong?
I have one of those voices in my head. He's a liar. I stopped taking advice from a liar and my life got better.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,536
This site is a GREAT place to hang out. I check in everyday on the 24 hour thread and commit to TODAY! Also, learning to separate out that alcoholic in your head from YOU helps immensely. Read the thread someone posted about AVRT. It will give you some tools you are missing right now. You can do this. Stick with us.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
what have you been doing jtexas?
For me.... finally giving in to my resistance and my thousand reasons that AA
'wasn't for me' and embracing it while also changing my attitude from "sobriety is a sentence being imposed on me" to "sobriety is a blessing that enables me to live the greatest life I can"
For me.... finally giving in to my resistance and my thousand reasons that AA
'wasn't for me' and embracing it while also changing my attitude from "sobriety is a sentence being imposed on me" to "sobriety is a blessing that enables me to live the greatest life I can"
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
for me... it's a slightly different twist. Drinking is always an option. It's just a ridiculous, stupid, detrimental and far-from-joyful one. It's an option I exercised for decades with the same lousy results over and over and over.
Drinking is always "an option". I could go hop in my van right now, drive to the liquor store, buy a bottle of vodka and climb right into it and off on another bender that might last three days or might last three years or might last the rest of my life.
Difference is.... I no longer want to.
It's an option. But one that I reject because the options in sobriety are a gajillion times better.
Drinking is always "an option". I could go hop in my van right now, drive to the liquor store, buy a bottle of vodka and climb right into it and off on another bender that might last three days or might last three years or might last the rest of my life.
Difference is.... I no longer want to.
It's an option. But one that I reject because the options in sobriety are a gajillion times better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 33
Thank you all for the replies. Yeah, I definitely understand now that I can't drink. Moderation is not an option. After I quit the first time I just told myself I'd quit for a month and then reward myself with a drink.
I realized I don't really like drinking. I liked being drunk. One cold beer or one glass of wine a day is not an option for me.
I've fought the idea of going to AA but I'm thinking I might check it out. Couldn't hurt. Also, my temptation to drink comes when I'm alone with nothing to do. If I can stay busy I'm ok.
I'm just afraid that if I quit cold turkey I'll have a seizure or something. If I knew that I'd just go thru withdrawal pains and that's it I would just tough it out.
I realized I don't really like drinking. I liked being drunk. One cold beer or one glass of wine a day is not an option for me.
I've fought the idea of going to AA but I'm thinking I might check it out. Couldn't hurt. Also, my temptation to drink comes when I'm alone with nothing to do. If I can stay busy I'm ok.
I'm just afraid that if I quit cold turkey I'll have a seizure or something. If I knew that I'd just go thru withdrawal pains and that's it I would just tough it out.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
at the very least... I hope you'll consider reading The Big Book as a place to start.
I promise you, spending some time really giving AA a shot will not hurt.
It might just save your life.
It's been a crucial foundation for making my life a lot better.
You can get your own Big Book at any AA meeting.... or start reading it right now, here;
(Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.)
Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous
I promise you, spending some time really giving AA a shot will not hurt.
It might just save your life.
It's been a crucial foundation for making my life a lot better.
You can get your own Big Book at any AA meeting.... or start reading it right now, here;
(Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.)
Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,536
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
for me... it's a slightly different twist. Drinking is always an option. It's just a ridiculous, stupid, detrimental and far-from-joyful one. It's an option I exercised for decades with the same lousy results over and over and over.
Drinking is always "an option". I could go hop in my van right now, drive to the liquor store, buy a bottle of vodka and climb right into it and off on another bender that might last three days or might last three years or might last the rest of my life.
Difference is.... I no longer want to.
It's an option. But one that I reject because the options in sobriety are a gajillion times better.
Drinking is always "an option". I could go hop in my van right now, drive to the liquor store, buy a bottle of vodka and climb right into it and off on another bender that might last three days or might last three years or might last the rest of my life.
Difference is.... I no longer want to.
It's an option. But one that I reject because the options in sobriety are a gajillion times better.
THIS! Couldn't have said it better. Thank you, FreeOwl
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 174
A lot of good comments in here. It's repeated so many time, but as Scott said, "the unconditional acceptance of the fact that I am an alcoholic and that I can never expect to drink moderately." And of course, Altoids was perfect in that of course it's an option, but one that we "exercised for decades with the same lousy results over and over and over."
And one more, that was given to me by a person who has been sober for about 6 years, after serious issues with Oxycodone. I asked him why he made it when so many others in his detox unit didn't, and he said "I just became so, so tired of it. Like, sick of it, not just physically but emotionally. Like watching a movie you really liked the first time, and then the next 3 or 4 times, but after the 100th viewing you just want to see anything different. You know how the story ends because it's always the same. And I hated that."
And one more, that was given to me by a person who has been sober for about 6 years, after serious issues with Oxycodone. I asked him why he made it when so many others in his detox unit didn't, and he said "I just became so, so tired of it. Like, sick of it, not just physically but emotionally. Like watching a movie you really liked the first time, and then the next 3 or 4 times, but after the 100th viewing you just want to see anything different. You know how the story ends because it's always the same. And I hated that."
I will NOT drink to that!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Baltimore MD USA
Posts: 634
Originally Posted by JTtexas
I realized I don't really like drinking. I liked being drunk. One cold beer or one glass of wine a day is not an option for me.
Thank you for being so candid, the realness in your post is astounding - I can relate to it so much.
We can do this together!
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Hello and welcome
Life lessons eh? Hmmmmm such a marvellous thing..... Except for the painful nature of them..... Lol.
(I'm laughing with you not at you, I had to learn the hard way too)
I just identified myself completely in another thread posted by Low.
"why we drank " I think it's called..... Check it out if you like. It definitely put a bit of perspective on things for me this morning
Life lessons eh? Hmmmmm such a marvellous thing..... Except for the painful nature of them..... Lol.
(I'm laughing with you not at you, I had to learn the hard way too)
I just identified myself completely in another thread posted by Low.
"why we drank " I think it's called..... Check it out if you like. It definitely put a bit of perspective on things for me this morning
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