JT0626

Like I had mentioned in my introduction, I see now that my husband & I didn't have much in common other than drinking together. Last night was another one of those nights. My husband came home from work & was going to do his regular evening run to the liquor store. Like always, he asked me if I wanted anything. I told him to bring me a soda (yay!).

We watch TV together & as the alcohol starts taking its effect on him, off to bed he goes. Not being my husband's drinking buddy is quite lonely. I would love to have good conversations with him. So there I am in the living room watching TV alone. I didn't crave alcohol at all (yay!) but what I did crave was quality time.

I think a part of me has been afraid to quit alcohol all together because it will change dynamics in my marriage. Me quitting alcohol is going to be a game changer & now I am fully recognizing it. Change isn't bad but it can certainly be scary. I have been in a fog far too long and I need to get out of it.

Physically, I am feeling good. Mentally, I am psyching myself up & staying the course. Emotionally, work in progress.

Any who.....thanks for listening.

SoberLeigh

There is a lot of adjustment involved in achieving sobriety - physically, emotionally and mentally.

We are on this journey with you; hopefully, we can help you feel less alone.

JT0626

Thanks for your insight, SoberLeigh. I think this forum is going to be my saving grace, I wish I would have found it sooner. I'm here now though & appreciate the warmth shown to me in the 2 days I have been on here.

Tang

I'm struggling with the fact my spouse seemed to enjoy my drinking self more than my sober self. We actually argue more when I'm sober . A long road ahead of me.

phoebe64

JT0626, I deal with the same issue. So many times in our lives I have tried to actually have the discussion that all we have in common is drinking. And my husband would be offended or deny it and not really discuss it.

we just need to do this for us, and see how it shakes out, right? But, when i am sober, I am very bored and unimpressed by my husband whi is drinking, especially on weekends when he has quite a bit. Of course, that is me when I am drinking as well.

JT0626

Tang, we're in this together. I have a long road ahead of me too. But in the end it will be all worth it.

JT0626

This resonates with me so much! My husband also rug sweeps any conversation I try to have about having other interests than just drinking together. I too find myself bored & unimpressed by my husband when he drinks. I'm sure I was the same way when I drank, but since he was drinking right along with me he didn't notice.

I'll continue to focus on me & stay the course!

sprout50

I really can't offer any advice as I have a non drinking husband. How he put up with me, I'll never know. If it helps, we are always here for you and you can vent all you like.

ardy

my hubby is not a drinker (not anymore) but the morphine and meds he takes does him in.. golly.. what do we say.. love prayers and scream here its safe... have put us out to volunteer with groups of people that helps keep him busy and he never knows when I am going to push that volunteer button. hahaha Monday night he had to be good we did training for the STOP Program with Police Officer friends.. they love to use him as the bad guy felon ahhahahaha as he was untill 21 years ago.. he did not want to go.. but we have been personally invited kiddo.. no no no but there will be food.. really no no well maybe.. and then he had such fun.. forgot about his bad mood and need of more meds... maybe if you found somethings to volunteer you and hubby for your Fair Grounds be extra's in movies security for events information event helpers ... or something with your neighborhood or church.. I could go on forever.. hugs and prayers you will get there promise.. ardy

Anna

Yes, this is the hard part, isn't it! But, you will find ways to deal with this that are healthy for you.

barefootjunker

I don't have a spouse but understand the loneliness well. Before quitting I had alienated myself pretty successfully, but still had that person or two i could send a random text to when the need arose. Now though while at work or after the meetings are done and all are heading to bed I am alone with myself. Yes I know there is here, but is not the same as having that personal contact that you know will be responded to.

jagger2012

Just keep doing the next right thing for you...PERSONALLY!

We have to take care of ourselves first, and that's always a stumbling block with folks like us as we don't believe we deserve it...how very untrue!

Verte

JT - I can so relate to your post. In early sobriety, seemingly random songs would pop into my head. Like sobriety theme music. I remember sitting with my husband on a Friday night, listening to his musings and tangents and trying really hard to keep track...stay interested. Focus, focus, focus. And then this trickles in:

The thrill is gone
It's gone away from me
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away from me
Although I'll still live on
But so lonely I'll be

And I busted out laughing. Hee he he. "Inside joke", I said to him. My trusty brain. Hang in there. It is a beautiful journey indeed. This community is amazing and always here.

razor15

That is a tough one. I can't offer any advice, but I can see how that can completely change a dynamic. Maybe through a spouse's sobriety, it can inspire it in others?
Stay your course indeed and keep posting, JT