Day 11--the first few frays in the rope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 25
Day 11--the first few frays in the rope
Hi all,
I'm a long-time lurker and sometimes poster in these forums. I'm dragging myself on here to shed some light on my current circumstance and hopefully get some much needed positive energy from others!
I'm currently 11 days into full-blown sobriety. I won't spend a lot of time recounting what led me here as I'm hoping to get more thoughts/input around my present circumstance. I'm under direct supervision from both a p-dock and a therapist--currently am taking Antabuse and Librium (librium largely because I've also been a daily user of .5mg of Klonopin for the last few years and am transitioning off of that too.)
Up until day 8 things were going beautifully. On Friday of last week, when I stepped down my librium taper for the first time (1xday rather than 2) I started noticing a LOT more mental fog, a lot of binary thinking, an ability to focus. As of today and yesterday (days 10 and 11), that's truly off the charts.
I don't have an urge to drink. I am feeling really energized about attending AA. But for the past two days I've been a complete and utter zombie, stumbling around my house, unable to string together coherent sentences and thoughts or remember much of anything past 10+ minutes. This far into detox (today is my last dosage of antabuse/libirum compound and starting tomorrow I'll be benzo free for the first time in years), are these symptoms common? Is this likely more about the decrease of benzos than alcohol, or the other way around?
I'm a long-time lurker and sometimes poster in these forums. I'm dragging myself on here to shed some light on my current circumstance and hopefully get some much needed positive energy from others!
I'm currently 11 days into full-blown sobriety. I won't spend a lot of time recounting what led me here as I'm hoping to get more thoughts/input around my present circumstance. I'm under direct supervision from both a p-dock and a therapist--currently am taking Antabuse and Librium (librium largely because I've also been a daily user of .5mg of Klonopin for the last few years and am transitioning off of that too.)
Up until day 8 things were going beautifully. On Friday of last week, when I stepped down my librium taper for the first time (1xday rather than 2) I started noticing a LOT more mental fog, a lot of binary thinking, an ability to focus. As of today and yesterday (days 10 and 11), that's truly off the charts.
I don't have an urge to drink. I am feeling really energized about attending AA. But for the past two days I've been a complete and utter zombie, stumbling around my house, unable to string together coherent sentences and thoughts or remember much of anything past 10+ minutes. This far into detox (today is my last dosage of antabuse/libirum compound and starting tomorrow I'll be benzo free for the first time in years), are these symptoms common? Is this likely more about the decrease of benzos than alcohol, or the other way around?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I'd call the doctor, too.
It took me a long time to get off pharmaceuticals. I took them for a lot of years due to migraines. I'm so happy to be free from the special kind of crazy that they brought. You may just be going through normal withdrawals. Sounds like a lot at once.
It took me a long time to get off pharmaceuticals. I took them for a lot of years due to migraines. I'm so happy to be free from the special kind of crazy that they brought. You may just be going through normal withdrawals. Sounds like a lot at once.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 25
Thanks for the responses. It's absolutely absurd to me that I've been on klonopin for as long as I have. In fact, as I dig through my history, I've realized the my initial prescription for klonopin was actually linked really strongly to the timeline of when I started abusing and self-medicating with alcohol.
Am definitely going to follow up with my doc and try to get more specific advice from her on how/where to move forward.
Am definitely going to follow up with my doc and try to get more specific advice from her on how/where to move forward.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
The benzodiazepines brought me a lot of peace - but getting off them was difficult - I took them way longer than I should have, as well. I had a stressful job and thought I needed them. Turns out I just needed to change jobs 
They (benzodiazepines) hit the same receptors in the brain that alcohol hits. I've heard them called "booze in a pill" and that's a good descriptor.
They (benzodiazepines) hit the same receptors in the brain that alcohol hits. I've heard them called "booze in a pill" and that's a good descriptor.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Very very normal and typical.
I'm 100 plus days now and the fog some days is completely gone, but it can still settle back in sometimes for a while, but the periods get less and shorter.
As everyone will tell you "it gets better / easier "
Keep up the great work
(and it is definitely work)
I'm 100 plus days now and the fog some days is completely gone, but it can still settle back in sometimes for a while, but the periods get less and shorter.
As everyone will tell you "it gets better / easier "
Keep up the great work
(and it is definitely work)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 25
Thanks, Hawks. Much appreciated.
Just spoke with my p-doc on the phone and she was more or less echoing much of what's been said. She suggested I do some research/reading on PAWS, as that might be in play here. But the focus continues to be on "hunkering down and hoping for improvement."
In a really weird headspace now as a result of this. I felt so good at days 6-7--no booze and such increased confidence and energy! I started telling myself I'd managed to hit "eject" before I dinged my body or mind up too seriously and was going to come through detox with no skin at all off my teeth. Now I feel like a stranger in my own skull, am completely unable to string coherent thoughts together, and can't walk from one room to another and remember where I was going or why. Worst of all is the feeling that it's going to be that way forever!
Just spoke with my p-doc on the phone and she was more or less echoing much of what's been said. She suggested I do some research/reading on PAWS, as that might be in play here. But the focus continues to be on "hunkering down and hoping for improvement."
In a really weird headspace now as a result of this. I felt so good at days 6-7--no booze and such increased confidence and energy! I started telling myself I'd managed to hit "eject" before I dinged my body or mind up too seriously and was going to come through detox with no skin at all off my teeth. Now I feel like a stranger in my own skull, am completely unable to string coherent thoughts together, and can't walk from one room to another and remember where I was going or why. Worst of all is the feeling that it's going to be that way forever!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Well done Ben on 11 days thats fantastic your doing really really well keep up the good work
like hawks said it gets a lot better and easier and like least said it wont be forever youl start feeling like you again soon enough
for what its worth i think your awesome
like hawks said it gets a lot better and easier and like least said it wont be forever youl start feeling like you again soon enough
for what its worth i think your awesome
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
I think of my recovery as "4 seasons"
The time periods can range from an hour, few hours, to a day or two or three.
We mostly seem to get a bit of summer first week, then autumn comes, sobriety gets a little bleak, then winter and sobriety is crap, but hang on a few days and spring arrives and sobriety seems like a marvellous thing again, then summer again and you'll have rainbows shooting out your bum.
And so it goes around.... But as the days mount up, we get more summer, spring and autumn, winter still comes but doesn't last as long and gradually we get longer and longer summers.
Hope that helps... Stay strong.
The time periods can range from an hour, few hours, to a day or two or three.
We mostly seem to get a bit of summer first week, then autumn comes, sobriety gets a little bleak, then winter and sobriety is crap, but hang on a few days and spring arrives and sobriety seems like a marvellous thing again, then summer again and you'll have rainbows shooting out your bum.
And so it goes around.... But as the days mount up, we get more summer, spring and autumn, winter still comes but doesn't last as long and gradually we get longer and longer summers.
Hope that helps... Stay strong.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi QuickBen
while all you've described is common in early recovery, don't hesitate to see your Dr if you're worried or concerned.
The fact you're on meds would make the Dr my first port of call.
D
while all you've described is common in early recovery, don't hesitate to see your Dr if you're worried or concerned.
The fact you're on meds would make the Dr my first port of call.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Washington D.C.
Posts: 30
Hi QuickBen,
I went through something very similar. Between about day 10 and day 25 I would go through these fog states where I was truly out of it. The next day I would I would try to remember back and it was like I had been drinking, the memories were just not there. The good news is that I'm on day 37 now and the fog state seems to have lifted. So it does get better, it just takes awhile to get there. I hope that it passes quickly for you!
I went through something very similar. Between about day 10 and day 25 I would go through these fog states where I was truly out of it. The next day I would I would try to remember back and it was like I had been drinking, the memories were just not there. The good news is that I'm on day 37 now and the fog state seems to have lifted. So it does get better, it just takes awhile to get there. I hope that it passes quickly for you!
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey QuickBen, I just wanted to offer some support too.
First, congrats on day-11. There will be some snags, as you know, but things will improve. I know, as I've been there.
I used Xanax for far too long, (years) and had to finally be medically tapered off. I made the mistake of using more then prescribed, as I had the resources to obtain additional if I wanted. Bad move.
It was hell for the first few weeks after I stopped, then things slowly improved. I've been off of all Rx & alcohol for 15 months now, and things feel pretty much normal all around. Actually, things feel real good for the most part. I also find spending time in this forum helps keep me focused on my goals.
Stay strong and give it time. I think you'll be very happy that you did.
Lusher
First, congrats on day-11. There will be some snags, as you know, but things will improve. I know, as I've been there.
I used Xanax for far too long, (years) and had to finally be medically tapered off. I made the mistake of using more then prescribed, as I had the resources to obtain additional if I wanted. Bad move.
It was hell for the first few weeks after I stopped, then things slowly improved. I've been off of all Rx & alcohol for 15 months now, and things feel pretty much normal all around. Actually, things feel real good for the most part. I also find spending time in this forum helps keep me focused on my goals.
Stay strong and give it time. I think you'll be very happy that you did.
Lusher
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