Two years clean, then today happened.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
OK, I also read what you posted over in family and friends. It seems like this is really bothering you, and that is good. I saw that you have been reading here for awhile, and this is likely the first place that you came to. So I guess I assume you feel comfortable here. We're very glad to have you here. Welcome.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 25
I have been here since 2012, as a reader.
Just the words of encouragement to others have helped me change my lifestyle. But two years later, I've still fallen. I thought at some point, it would get easier.
Just the words of encouragement to others have helped me change my lifestyle. But two years later, I've still fallen. I thought at some point, it would get easier.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Yew-Kay
Posts: 279
Originally Posted by JustADumbGuy 
I have been here since 2012, as a reader.
Just the words of encouragement to others have helped me change my lifestyle. But two years later, I've still fallen. I thought at some point, it would get easier.
Just the words of encouragement to others have helped me change my lifestyle. But two years later, I've still fallen. I thought at some point, it would get easier.
Welcome.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Get back on the horse, you can do this. I have read your posts about this, you seem to be ashamed because your wife will find out. Don't forget to be sober for yourself, too. We've all had tough times and you are not alone, man.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
hey Just,
i guess it feels "worse" when you don't have a clear excuse to pin it on, when you didn't struggle, or didn't see it coming at all so that it's a shock to you. when maybe you didn't even want to....
when you don't understand why...
so...what's the plan? you've come out from lurking, and that's great! i found daily interaction and engaging with others on a recovery forum a huge help; it's been instrumental in my sobriety.
nobody "deserves" or not-deserves this. you've read here for a couple of years, so you've knowledge of what others are saying helped them. and you've some experience with what worked for you in the short run but not in the long run, so you can now make some changes.
i guess it feels "worse" when you don't have a clear excuse to pin it on, when you didn't struggle, or didn't see it coming at all so that it's a shock to you. when maybe you didn't even want to....
when you don't understand why...
so...what's the plan? you've come out from lurking, and that's great! i found daily interaction and engaging with others on a recovery forum a huge help; it's been instrumental in my sobriety.
nobody "deserves" or not-deserves this. you've read here for a couple of years, so you've knowledge of what others are saying helped them. and you've some experience with what worked for you in the short run but not in the long run, so you can now make some changes.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Just, as everyone says, get back up on the horse. A little perspective and some remorse is helpful but continuing to beat yourself up and agonize is destructive. Our little inner addict LOVES it when we torture ourselves and make ourselves feel like sh*t.
Two years is awesome and you didn't "lose" anything. Dust yourself off and do whatever keeps your conscience clean as far as your wife and kid (if you subscribe to the adage that we are only as sick as our secrets, which I tend to believe is true), and then put one foot in front of the other. Figure out what caused the slip so it doesn't happen again but realize it's certainly not the end of the world. It's a blip and soon it will be an experience that you will be wiser for and be able to help others who find themselves in the same spot down the road.
Hang in there. Glad you're posting.
Two years is awesome and you didn't "lose" anything. Dust yourself off and do whatever keeps your conscience clean as far as your wife and kid (if you subscribe to the adage that we are only as sick as our secrets, which I tend to believe is true), and then put one foot in front of the other. Figure out what caused the slip so it doesn't happen again but realize it's certainly not the end of the world. It's a blip and soon it will be an experience that you will be wiser for and be able to help others who find themselves in the same spot down the road.
Hang in there. Glad you're posting
.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
For me, the combination of SR and AA is working. I once relapsed after 11.5 years, triggered many relapses after that. It took getting sober my #1 job to gain a hold where I am just a bit comfortable today at 17 months. My best to you!!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,791
Welcome to posting. Flogging yourself won't help. I've flogged myself right back into a bottle countless times. Take responsibility, admit, apologize, repair, get the support you need, forgive yourself, then keep doing the right things. You seem to be starting on that course, just quit beating on yourself. You're not a superhero, you're a fallible human being like the rest of us.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
since when has drinking again been a sensible idea Just?
Addiction is about impulse, not reasoned thought.
The sooner you stop beating yourself up, the sooner you can apply that energy to marking sure this doesn't happen again
D
Addiction is about impulse, not reasoned thought.
The sooner you stop beating yourself up, the sooner you can apply that energy to marking sure this doesn't happen again
D
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