hopeful4

Please get serious help, NOW.

anattaboy

If you think he would be supportive and it would help your accountability then go for it. Telling him will bring no immediate relief. Putting the plug in the jug is the answer. We've all done the "unforgivable" under the influence. Talk to a Dr., Detox, inpatient maybe outpatient treatment. Get a plan and do this for you and them youngins.

Anna

You must tell your husband.

This is no longer about you.

Your children need protection and to be taken care of. Please do that for them.

razor15

Completely agreed. Please ensure the children are safe first. Then please get the help you need. I am in no position to judge you or anyone, I have my fair share of questionable judgement while drinking, but it is a simple fact that a 5 and 2 year old need safe care.

We'll all be here to support you!

LizH

Keeping U in my thoughts and prayers. Have U tried saying how you feel out loud? This helped me a lot. I taped myself saying "I care more about alcohol than --------" then I played it over and over again. It was pretty stunning...

Tall Dawg

There are already enough judgmental opinions on this thread, so I will not add to it. Make no mistake about it, we have ALL made terrible decisions while drinking that have endangered the lives of others... to include small children. Anyone who has ever driven under the influence has endangered the lives of everyone else on the road, whether its people in other vehicles and pedestrians on the sidewalks. The important thing is that we recognize the severity of our actions and learn from our mistakes. You can do this! I am praying for you.

Fly N Buy

Yes, IMO you need to discuss with your husband. The last thing you want I am sure, is to put your kids in peril. Needs to be some level of accountability for that until you can work your program.


Please seek professional help asap - posting is great, but perhaps you should immediately seek more.

Glad you are here - Welcome

fly

ScottFromWI

Hope won't get you sober. Scaring yourself into sobriety won't work either, you will most likely continue to justify your behavior since nothing "bad" happened this time.

You've crossed the line past not caring about yourself to caring more about alcohol than you do about the welfare of your children, so logic doesn't really apply any more.

You need to immediately take action today in my opinion. Call your husband at work if need be and tell him now, your life is going to drastically change no matter what you do.

Take action and accountability for your actions while you still have the choice to do so.

MIRecovery

There is no nice way to put it. What happened is child abuse and you should not be allowed to watch them

Please get the help you need before something horrible happens

Soberwolf

Hi Amanda im glad your here talking about this rather than continuing drinking

that post took guts and its a big step in the right direction

Stay close keep posting there is a 24 thread that will really help its for ppl in early recovery http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-22-a-15.html

Youl meet nothing but support for coming here to face up to your problem it shows your doing something about it

My mum had done similar things when i was growing up or 'taking me wimpy' etc

She died with over 25+ years sober my mum was my best friend an alcoholic

Let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone

Soberwolf

This

Fly N Buy

Most of us are not bad people, alcohol makes us do bad things!!

ardy

ok I am going to be the Old Lady here... What is more important Drinking or your Children... what if you had come home and the house was on fire.. or you could not find them there.. really with all the little ones dying out there because a parent or adult locked the door .. and they would be safe.. you need to find out what you really want your kids alive or a bottle to help kill the pain... when its to late.. sorry all.. we just had another house up in flames on Sunday early am.. and the body of a little one taken out... and of course Mom screaming on the side.. nope.. have to Take the Moral High Ground on this.. prayers to the little ones. for they need it the most... a mom ... and yes my Kids came first even when my life was at its worst.. always.. my Kids before my own life... ardy...

DoloresHaze

Amanda,

I remember reading on here a Mom who confessed that she had driven wr kids around while drunk. Someone replied, "of course you drove your kids drunk, that's what alcoholics do."

We all have our devestatingly shameful stories. Sometimes when my 6 yr old is at school, probably laughing and playing without a care in the world, I'm at home sobbing about anytime I may have cheated him of something or failed him, ignored him, etc....

I guess my point is, beating ourselves up won't help. But putting 100% of our energy from now on into being the best mom we can be is crucial.

i for one, don't want to feel like that anymore.

ardy

sorry all ... Kiddo you have to find out what you really want.. please know that all of us here have had some bad patches. and done things that we regret.. kiddo you need a drink turn to this group and hold tight and be honest and then hug your babies .. for they are the ones in 10 years that you will still have right there ..and you never never want to lose them for anything... love a Mom....

fini

Hopefully this is what it will take to get me sober. I hate myself right now. I haven't told my husband. Should I?

not sure if i'm reading this right, but it sounds like you're not sure this will be 'enough' yet to get you sober, and your main concern/question is whether to tell your husband?

yes. he needs to know the children are not safe with you.
harsh, i know. but true.

he also needs to know that you are not safe with you.

he needs the knowledge so he can make appropriate decisions about how to keep the children safe.

what is your plan for how to go about not drinking again, if that's what you want?

ardy

that is a Woot Woot and Gold Star.....

Briar

I am still thinking about your post, and I really feel for you. Before I got sober this time, I was drinking all day, every day. I was also driving my kid to daycare and back. You fill in the blanks. This illustrates the profound impact this drug has on our brains. It overrides a mother’s instinct to protect her child from danger, one of our most fundamental instincts. It turns us into something unnatural. I remember feeling like a monster. I know the guilt you are going through all too well, and I know the incredible relief of waking up sober and knowing I have the power to protect my child. Please take a serious look at your options and understand that the only person who can change this is you. You are the heart of your family, please place this above the fears you have about sobriety.

Nonsensical

I used to think that only a disaster could wake me up and get me serious about my drinking problem. I even bought extra insurance to protect my family when the inevitable disaster came. (I assumed I would be in a DUI accident.) But when that disaster came, at least I was going to be magically cured of my compulsion to drink.

Listen to me carefully: All of that thinking was absolute HORSE ****!

Nothing is going to remove your compulsion to drink except NOT DRINKING. A disaster will not help or cure you, so stop flirting with one. It's irrational, immoral, and ineffective.

Starve your addiction and it will relent. It takes months, but it is the only way.

Get whatever information and support you need to stop. Now.

You can do this.

DoloresHaze

This is true, and something I recently found out. I did all my "real" drinking at night, but I'd need "a little something" in the afternoon, like 3 or 4 glasses of wine. I knew it was a bad cycle. But I just thought one day it would STOP. like THAT!

It didn't. It took a lot of uncomfortable feelings, discipline, and sitting on the couch like a lazy-ass just reading SR.