And the beat goes on...
Cause no harm
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 596
And the beat goes on...
It is unbelievable how many years I have been coming and going on this site. How many starts and stops have I done in this period? Successes and failures are cyclic for me. The months of drinking unfortunately exceed the months of sobriety. So many slumbers broken in the middle of the night by alcohol contradictions. Broken promises made to myself evaporate with the daylight and are dismissed with a bottle of booze. The cycle then continues on and on.
Then that one day reappears. You know the one that is filled with new resolve and hope. That is the day the bottle will lose. The epiphany has opened your sealed eyes and the commitment is remade. Come hell or high water, this time you wash your hands of the addiction. All is well...until that deep inner urge arises in a few days. Your resolve is pretty strong so it is successfully quelled. Then, nothing. No urges. No strong desire to drink. It becomes distant and quiet. At this point, thoughts of alcohol are weak and powerless. It is a great feeling—until, without warning, the surge overwhelms you with the need to drink, an impulse to get that high and to hell with the consequences. The battle rages between maintaining sobriety or succumbing to the drink, to which you know will pull you deep into the addictive cycle. You are at the fork in the road. To which direction do you choose?
This, my fellow addicts, is the story of my life encapsulated in a few sentences. I display this, not to paint a dismal picture, but to show a scenario that many may relate. It is not a beautiful tale of blissful success (to which many are so privileged to truthfully tell) but a drama of a life-long battle to overcome addiction. The road to sobriety is a rocky, pothole-filled, and treacherous path with very few direction signs. Only a distant bright light on the horizon guides my feet.
(Sober 15 days)
Then that one day reappears. You know the one that is filled with new resolve and hope. That is the day the bottle will lose. The epiphany has opened your sealed eyes and the commitment is remade. Come hell or high water, this time you wash your hands of the addiction. All is well...until that deep inner urge arises in a few days. Your resolve is pretty strong so it is successfully quelled. Then, nothing. No urges. No strong desire to drink. It becomes distant and quiet. At this point, thoughts of alcohol are weak and powerless. It is a great feeling—until, without warning, the surge overwhelms you with the need to drink, an impulse to get that high and to hell with the consequences. The battle rages between maintaining sobriety or succumbing to the drink, to which you know will pull you deep into the addictive cycle. You are at the fork in the road. To which direction do you choose?
This, my fellow addicts, is the story of my life encapsulated in a few sentences. I display this, not to paint a dismal picture, but to show a scenario that many may relate. It is not a beautiful tale of blissful success (to which many are so privileged to truthfully tell) but a drama of a life-long battle to overcome addiction. The road to sobriety is a rocky, pothole-filled, and treacherous path with very few direction signs. Only a distant bright light on the horizon guides my feet.
(Sober 15 days)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by Creekryder 
The road to sobriety is a rocky, pothole-filled, and treacherous path with very few direction signs. Only a distant bright light on the horizon guides my feet.
(Sober 15 days)
(Sober 15 days)
In a way your correct. I was in that cycle for a couple years also mainly because I did things my way instead of following a path of success millions of others followed. That was before the internet which is like a God to so many looking for easy ways out of a difficult situation. This staying sober is constant work and change I learned in AA.
The result of continued drinking is a more miserable life each day.
I bit the bullet for short term pain in exchange for feeling comfortable in my own skin most of the time.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Glad you are back on the path, creekryder. 15 days is a great new beginning.
Hope you keep SR close - read and post often; SR is the 24/7/365 option that is there/here for you if you reach that fork in the road again.
Hope you keep SR close - read and post often; SR is the 24/7/365 option that is there/here for you if you reach that fork in the road again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Good to see you back 
I really believe our stories are not over until it's over.
I came back from years of all day everyday drinking and nearly dying in the process.
I gave my heart and soul to changing my life and myself. It worked
It's never too late to start writing chapter two, P.
D
I really believe our stories are not over until it's over.
I came back from years of all day everyday drinking and nearly dying in the process.
I gave my heart and soul to changing my life and myself. It worked
It's never too late to start writing chapter two, P.
D
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Originally Posted by Creekryder
Then that one day reappears. You know the one that is filled with new resolve and hope. That is the day the bottle will lose. The epiphany has opened your sealed eyes and the commitment is remade.
It was only after I joined SR after a few days sober - having urges and feeling tormented that I realised acceptance is the key- this pattern will never change- so change what you can. It gave me a sense of freedom even in the midst of a physical withdrawal.
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