desperate
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: swindon uk
Posts: 14
desperate
Hi this is my first post and my first time on this site ,
I always enjoyed a good drink ,but over the last year it has completely taken over my life , my wife gave birth to our son 10 months ago and it was a very traumatic birth and when they took him away i followed and was witness to things i wish i had never seen , but this led me to have real problems with anxiety and sleeping , what started with the odd whisky to try help me settle me and maybe sleep quickly progressed to half a bottle and before i realised what was happening i went from wanting a drink to needing one! i was drinking day and night with the constant need to top up and keep at a certain level .
i was doing all this without my wife knowing ,i had bottles hidden all over the house and garden my whole time was spent sneaking around planning my trips to the shop to not arouse her suspicion. I was functioning in every way despite most days drinking a litre of vodka or whisky . its scary just how much i can/need to drink now to have any effect on me at all . i feel so guilty and scared about what im doing to myself but i just cant seem to stop ,everyday i think "this is the day i stop " but after 12 hours or so the pains in my stomach and back are so bad i cave in , i have cut down to approx half a bottle a day but am desperate to quit for good ,I have so much to loose and feel such a pressure to stop before i do . ive read so many bad things about withdrawal it scares me . any advice please , thank you
I always enjoyed a good drink ,but over the last year it has completely taken over my life , my wife gave birth to our son 10 months ago and it was a very traumatic birth and when they took him away i followed and was witness to things i wish i had never seen , but this led me to have real problems with anxiety and sleeping , what started with the odd whisky to try help me settle me and maybe sleep quickly progressed to half a bottle and before i realised what was happening i went from wanting a drink to needing one! i was drinking day and night with the constant need to top up and keep at a certain level .
i was doing all this without my wife knowing ,i had bottles hidden all over the house and garden my whole time was spent sneaking around planning my trips to the shop to not arouse her suspicion. I was functioning in every way despite most days drinking a litre of vodka or whisky . its scary just how much i can/need to drink now to have any effect on me at all . i feel so guilty and scared about what im doing to myself but i just cant seem to stop ,everyday i think "this is the day i stop " but after 12 hours or so the pains in my stomach and back are so bad i cave in , i have cut down to approx half a bottle a day but am desperate to quit for good ,I have so much to loose and feel such a pressure to stop before i do . ive read so many bad things about withdrawal it scares me . any advice please , thank you
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Welcome, Steve, to SR. You will experience support, understanding and encouragement here; glad that you have found us.
Congratulations on the birth of your son; I am sorry to hear that the beginning was so traumatic. (I can relate; my first was 12 weeks early and, yes, a lot of early trauma - those memories faded as beautiful, happy ones materialized - yours will, too; I promise).
Congratulations on your plans to stop drinking, to eliminate the fear and guilt, and get back to truly enjoying your life.
Yes, withdrawals can be dangerous. Have you spoken to your doctor about your drinking or your plans to stop or your stomach pains?
Congratulations on the birth of your son; I am sorry to hear that the beginning was so traumatic. (I can relate; my first was 12 weeks early and, yes, a lot of early trauma - those memories faded as beautiful, happy ones materialized - yours will, too; I promise).
Congratulations on your plans to stop drinking, to eliminate the fear and guilt, and get back to truly enjoying your life.
Yes, withdrawals can be dangerous. Have you spoken to your doctor about your drinking or your plans to stop or your stomach pains?
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
Welcome, and congratulations on the birth of your baby! I'm glad you posted, you will find a lot of support and understanding from those of us who have been there. I can definitely relate to the hidden bottles all over the house. It's so complicated and exhausting, isn't it? Take care. 
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
I'd go to your doctor and talk about withdrawal, just to be on the safe side, but withdrawals really depend on the person. I had a horrible week long withdrawal, then when I relapsed before I had a bad headache and sweats for three days, then I was fine. Either way, you can get some extra support from your doctor which can't help.
Cutting down the way you already have is something you should be proud of and withdrawals really scared me too, but once you're through it, you're out the other end.
Cutting down the way you already have is something you should be proud of and withdrawals really scared me too, but once you're through it, you're out the other end.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi Steve.
I congratulate you for getting honest about you drinking and want to do something about it. Unfortunately there is no easy way around the fact we need to stop in order to enjoy life again. For some it’s quite painful but this too shall pass. Some need to be honest with their doctor and others need detox.
The bottom line is we don’t drink one day at a time in a row. There is much support here if we reach out as you did. I and many millions sought support and recovery within AA. Whatever way we go we need to stick with it longer than we think for long term sobriety.
BE WELL
I congratulate you for getting honest about you drinking and want to do something about it. Unfortunately there is no easy way around the fact we need to stop in order to enjoy life again. For some it’s quite painful but this too shall pass. Some need to be honest with their doctor and others need detox.
The bottom line is we don’t drink one day at a time in a row. There is much support here if we reach out as you did. I and many millions sought support and recovery within AA. Whatever way we go we need to stick with it longer than we think for long term sobriety.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: swindon uk
Posts: 14
thanks
Hi thank you all for the welcome and supportive words .
i have been to the doctors about my pains and concerns over withdrawal,
but here in the uk they will not prescribe me with any medication ie librium which i have read a lot about , and just say its going to be tough and suggested i seek support from AA , which i have been to two meetings now and it was good as far as showing me alcohol can effect so many people from all walks of life ,and seeing other people who have mad the change to there lives i'm so desperate to , but its the physical effects i really am finding hard ,i have even looked at buying librium on-line but i worry about what i might end up with or if ill end adding to my problem ? i am going to try cutting my half bottle to a quarter by the end of this week ,then try to introduce drink free days and try to ride the withdrawal the best i can.
thank you again
i have been to the doctors about my pains and concerns over withdrawal,
but here in the uk they will not prescribe me with any medication ie librium which i have read a lot about , and just say its going to be tough and suggested i seek support from AA , which i have been to two meetings now and it was good as far as showing me alcohol can effect so many people from all walks of life ,and seeing other people who have mad the change to there lives i'm so desperate to , but its the physical effects i really am finding hard ,i have even looked at buying librium on-line but i worry about what i might end up with or if ill end adding to my problem ? i am going to try cutting my half bottle to a quarter by the end of this week ,then try to introduce drink free days and try to ride the withdrawal the best i can.
thank you again
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Welcome Steve. 
I live in the UK too, and sometimes the drs here just do not listen. If you're at a practice, could you ask to see another doctor ?
They must be able to prescribe something for your stomach pains.
You 'll find tons of support here, glad you found us.
I live in the UK too, and sometimes the drs here just do not listen. If you're at a practice, could you ask to see another doctor ?
They must be able to prescribe something for your stomach pains.
You 'll find tons of support here, glad you found us.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Welcome to SR steve! I tapered as you are suggesting in 2 weeks but it was dicey. I do not recommend unprescribed librium w/out a regime from the doc-been there. Of course benzo's with alcohol are uber-volatile-also been there. As for tapering, you should see a doc, pick a date and reduce on a schedule. Research it on the web. Takes some planning and commitment and any other tool you can scrounge. I found the Secular Forums here and read of Rational Recovery and the AVRT. Also, just checking in here every day helps me quite a bit. It helped me make the final jump. Best wishes on putting a plan together to break the chains.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by stevet49 
Hi thank you all for the welcome and supportive words .
i have been to the doctors about my pains and concerns over withdrawal,
but here in the uk they will not prescribe me with any medication ie librium which i have read a lot about , and just say its going to be tough and suggested i seek support from AA , which i have been to two meetings now and it was good as far as showing me alcohol can effect so many people from all walks of life ,and seeing other people who have mad the change to there lives i'm so desperate to , but its the physical effects i really am finding hard ,i have even looked at buying librium on-line but i worry about what i might end up with or if ill end adding to my problem ? i am going to try cutting my half bottle to a quarter by the end of this week ,then try to introduce drink free days and try to ride the withdrawal the best i can.
thank you again
i have been to the doctors about my pains and concerns over withdrawal,
but here in the uk they will not prescribe me with any medication ie librium which i have read a lot about , and just say its going to be tough and suggested i seek support from AA , which i have been to two meetings now and it was good as far as showing me alcohol can effect so many people from all walks of life ,and seeing other people who have mad the change to there lives i'm so desperate to , but its the physical effects i really am finding hard ,i have even looked at buying librium on-line but i worry about what i might end up with or if ill end adding to my problem ? i am going to try cutting my half bottle to a quarter by the end of this week ,then try to introduce drink free days and try to ride the withdrawal the best i can.
thank you again
try this its a link to get help where you are with this
Useful information - Great Western Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: swindon uk
Posts: 14
friend
Friend is a word I have not heard for a long time, unfortunately I have lost most of mine with the if you cared you would stop line, still tonight is the first night I have come to bed without a drink, when I really wanted one I logged on and read some posts it gave me some strength thank you all
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
Hi Steve,
I agree with Soberwolf. I got into recovery using my local drug and alcohol team. The system there is pretty good. I got a caseworker who talked through everything and gave me lots of paperwork as homework, then enrolled in classes and support groups and got a counsellor. It's a good place. Also, their system with the medication for withdrawal was that they make an assessment, then if you need medication, they send a prescription to your GP which you pick up the same day. It was really simple for me, I recommend!
I agree with Soberwolf. I got into recovery using my local drug and alcohol team. The system there is pretty good. I got a caseworker who talked through everything and gave me lots of paperwork as homework, then enrolled in classes and support groups and got a counsellor. It's a good place. Also, their system with the medication for withdrawal was that they make an assessment, then if you need medication, they send a prescription to your GP which you pick up the same day. It was really simple for me, I recommend!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by JaneLane
Hi Steve,
I agree with Soberwolf. I got into recovery using my local drug and alcohol team. The system there is pretty good. I got a caseworker who talked through everything and gave me lots of paperwork as homework, then enrolled in classes and support groups and got a counsellor. It's a good place. Also, their system with the medication for withdrawal was that they make an assessment, then if you need medication, they send a prescription to your GP which you pick up the same day. It was really simple for me, I recommend!
I agree with Soberwolf. I got into recovery using my local drug and alcohol team. The system there is pretty good. I got a caseworker who talked through everything and gave me lots of paperwork as homework, then enrolled in classes and support groups and got a counsellor. It's a good place. Also, their system with the medication for withdrawal was that they make an assessment, then if you need medication, they send a prescription to your GP which you pick up the same day. It was really simple for me, I recommend!
and well done Jane
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: swindon uk
Posts: 14
first night
I know it's only a small step but have just had my first night without a drink in nearly a year, I didn't sleep much but didn't cave in and drink myself to sleep as normal, I hope I can build on this
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 259
welcome steve, glad you're here!
I only just singed up myself but I found lots of help during my first days. I'm on day four now, still hardly sleeping so I know what you're going through. But you should be proud you went to bed without a drink, it gets better every night!
Stay strong!
I only just singed up myself but I found lots of help during my first days. I'm on day four now, still hardly sleeping so I know what you're going through. But you should be proud you went to bed without a drink, it gets better every night!
Stay strong!
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