New here, because of new love
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 259
New here, because of new love
Hi everyone, I need support on this journey so I'm new
Have done it all. Drinking in the morning, before work, on work, on the way home from work. Puked on an airplaine, fell asleep at the airport almost missing my transfer. Been so drunk I couldn't walk, fell and almost broke my neck. Black outs. Sex with strangers, cheating and lying. Lonely days on the sofa drinking for days. Wasted money, people and oppertunities.
All of this for one thing. I can't put down the bottle when I pick it up.
I've been reading here for a year, and now I must join to confess and make a promise, like I did to my new boyfriend. He finally found out I have a problem and forced me to show my hiding places in the house. Of all the idiotic things above nothing could compare to the shame I felt that moment I showed him. Shame, but I guess also releif. This could be a new chance.
He sais he stills loves me, but that I had to stop. And I promised him, and I promise you. Now is day 3
Have done it all. Drinking in the morning, before work, on work, on the way home from work. Puked on an airplaine, fell asleep at the airport almost missing my transfer. Been so drunk I couldn't walk, fell and almost broke my neck. Black outs. Sex with strangers, cheating and lying. Lonely days on the sofa drinking for days. Wasted money, people and oppertunities.
All of this for one thing. I can't put down the bottle when I pick it up.
I've been reading here for a year, and now I must join to confess and make a promise, like I did to my new boyfriend. He finally found out I have a problem and forced me to show my hiding places in the house. Of all the idiotic things above nothing could compare to the shame I felt that moment I showed him. Shame, but I guess also releif. This could be a new chance.
He sais he stills loves me, but that I had to stop. And I promised him, and I promise you. Now is day 3
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome dallow and congrats on day 3. We all have reasons to quit, I found that to make it work long term I really needed to want it for myself more than anything. It is early though and day 3 is a great accomplishment.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 140
For me, incentive is also very important. When I was drunk though I would throw all of my responsibilities out of an analogous window. Others are right to say that it is necessary to hold yourself accountable for your abstinence. You gotta want it and remember you need it.
Don't get me wrong, it is good to have the support and help from someone who cares about you. Someone who is conscience in helping you stay accountable can be good. For me it was when I finally opened up to my mom that I was an alcoholic.
Again though, get better for yourself. It's not a selfish act.
Don't get me wrong, it is good to have the support and help from someone who cares about you. Someone who is conscience in helping you stay accountable can be good. For me it was when I finally opened up to my mom that I was an alcoholic.
Again though, get better for yourself. It's not a selfish act.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Hi Dallow, all the things you mentioned ring true with me as well. Lonely days on the sofa drinking for days was my life for a long time. I bear mental and physical scars from my drinking. Ruined many a relationship and scared off new love interests when they saw I had a serious problem.
I am sober now but just dealing with the damage booze brought to my life. Sounds like you have a supportive partner in this so that can be key in recovery. I waited too long to address my drinking and I drove so many people close to me away that I am plagued by loneliness in sobriety. No one like to be around someone who drinks until black-out which I finally realized.
Welcome to the site.
I am sober now but just dealing with the damage booze brought to my life. Sounds like you have a supportive partner in this so that can be key in recovery. I waited too long to address my drinking and I drove so many people close to me away that I am plagued by loneliness in sobriety. No one like to be around someone who drinks until black-out which I finally realized.
Welcome to the site.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Newport beach, CA
Posts: 52
Been there. I'm on day 15 so I don't have any real advice, just support. Glad you came to this site to cleanse your mind and heart. It isn't easy to admit to losing control of a substance that is so widely and socially accepted. Just know, life can't only get better for us. We need to stick it out when the times get tough because as a wise man once said, "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 101
Welcome Dallow,
From your post it seems like you really need to make significant changes in your life. If a new love is the cause of your desire to get sober then I’m all for it, because it helps to have supportive people around in the early days. Just realize it will take more than a new love to stay sober. I’ve heard it said frequently on SR that if love were enough to keep someone from drinking then there would be no need for this website. The truth is that at the end of the day you have to really want if for yourself.
From your post it seems like you really need to make significant changes in your life. If a new love is the cause of your desire to get sober then I’m all for it, because it helps to have supportive people around in the early days. Just realize it will take more than a new love to stay sober. I’ve heard it said frequently on SR that if love were enough to keep someone from drinking then there would be no need for this website. The truth is that at the end of the day you have to really want if for yourself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 374
Way to go on making it 3 days! It is tough...but so worth it! You said that once you pick up the bottle, you can't put it down...come to us the next time you want to pick it up! We can help you! Do you have any other support you can turn to?
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Dallow 
Hi everyone, I need support on this journey so I'm new
And I promised him, and I promise you. Now is day 3
And I promised him, and I promise you. Now is day 3
I had to promise myself and try one day at a time....I had broken my word for many, many years.
A year of reading post - sounds like you are highly motivated!!!! Awesome!
So happy your with us
fly
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
A very warm welcome to you, Dallow 
I understand all about losing control after the first drink - once I hit the wine I was gone - but I think that makes me lucky. You see, for me and maybe for you, too, the real cravings don't hit until I've had that first one. If I can resist the first I'm fine, resisting a second would be nigh on impossible.
Knowing and accepting that has changed my life
I understand all about losing control after the first drink - once I hit the wine I was gone - but I think that makes me lucky. You see, for me and maybe for you, too, the real cravings don't hit until I've had that first one. If I can resist the first I'm fine, resisting a second would be nigh on impossible.
Knowing and accepting that has changed my life
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