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Struggling.

Old 11-02-2014, 03:21 PM
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Struggling.

Hi Everyone!

Well I have been sober now since the 28th September so 1 month and 4 days to be precise!

Its been very difficult and the whole of October I also did the Go-Sober challenge and raised 155 for Mc Millan Cancer Support so I actually did a good deed as well as getting that first month under my belt! I used that as a positive stepping stone to get sober as up to that point I had drank solidly since the 28th February (my last relapse after 1 month) so 7 months of hard drinking!

Due to the fact I relapsed round this same sort of time I thought I would post. I am currently in AA fellowship and have been attending regular meetings and have also got myself a Sponsor who has been great and I have been on the phone everyday with him and really helps to share as it gets it all out of my system.

However I am itching to exercise but my back has now become a point of immense pain and the doctor has put me on very strong painkillers. I am also on strong Anti Depressants too that are called pregablin and they are also used for back pain as well as anxiety. I just feel so low because the pain is stopping me from exercising. I have actually gained 14 pounds since quitting and I am very unhappy about this as I thought I would loose weight. I am out of shape and am definitely not the shape a man of my age should be. I feel disgusting.

The thought of a drink seems so inviting as at least then I will feel better about myself. All these pains and ailments I seem to have now have all appeared since I stopped drinking. I really hope my life starts to improve. I cannot carry on feeling so low about myself and feel this grey all the time as its not a happy place. I know drink is only a temporary fix but at least its fake happiness.

I dunno! maybe I'm too early in sobriety to feel the real benefits. I have had a lot of misery as well as good times with alcohol so I do not want to run back to it ever again. I just hope I can recover to the point where I feel happy within myself. I cant just sit around doing nothing I'm one of these people that has to feel motivated and has to be doing something otherwise I get very depressed.

Anyway sorry to rant on about me me me and how **** my life is. I pray to God that it all starts to get better soon.



Peace.
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Old 11-02-2014, 03:28 PM
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Hi RJY well done on a month and 4 days thats exellent raising money for McMillan is awe inspiring (they helped my mother for 3 months) so thank you from the bottom of my heart my family are always raising money for them im planning a skydive around the 18 mnth mk

try this for urge and cravings http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

Seriously nice to meet you
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Old 11-02-2014, 03:33 PM
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Temporary happiness is not really happiness, what alcohol promises is unsustainable because continually drinking is not a longterm solution!!

Hang in there, rebuilding a life after years of drinking is going to take time, it took us years of drinking to get to that point, it's gonna take more than a few months to turn things around and build a life to be happy and proud of!!

Give it more time, things will get better!!
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Old 11-02-2014, 03:44 PM
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Congratulations on 1 month and 4 days, and be very proud of your house.

It's not uncommon to find new aches, pains, etc in early recovery because I think that we ignore a lot of signs and signals while we are drinking.

Have you tried any yoga exercises? There might be some gentle yoga exercises that you could do to keep you feeling more limber while you have the back pain. Or are you able to get out and walk? That might help you to feel better too.
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Old 11-02-2014, 09:48 PM
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It's good to hear from you RJY and congrats on your sober time.

I'm wondering if you let the Dr in on your past? sometimes painkillers can trigger those parts of the brain booze used to trigger.

I'm not a Dr, but it might be worth talking with yours if you think that may be a factor.

Other than that, yeah I discovered a whole new bunch of aches and pains too. My hypothesis is they were there for a while - I just masked them with booze.

Keep searching for healthy solutions - I've had a lot of success with non medication treatments for my chronic pain - physio, exercises etc.

Hope you feel better soon

D

Last edited by Dee74; 11-03-2014 at 02:06 PM.
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Old 11-02-2014, 10:26 PM
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I am so very pleased to read you have over a month of sobriety RJY9.
I haven't seen you in awhile

You're doing good stuff here. And as wonderful as just over a month is...
It continues to change and change and change..
Where I was at one month....looks nothing..and I mean nothing like where I am at just over 4 months..
I imagine 6 months will be different.
As will 9...

It continues to change and change. New realizations come fast and furious. I decided to join a recovery group at a few weeks into sobriety. When I looked at those ole 12 steps..I kinda chuckled to myself when I looked at that whole personal inventory and amends stuff.
I thought..ya, I've only hurt myself..I got nobody to make amends to..

(At 4 months or so...I could roll around on the ground laughing at what I thought I new about well..everything...at 1 month of sobriety).

Ya..I hurt people cuz of my drinking. Lots of them. You couldn't convince me of that a few short weeks ago.

I digress.

What I'm trying to say..is..the scenery continues to change..day by day..week by week..month by month.

You will be amazed. I know I am..
I didn't make it past 4 months last time. I hit a some sort of desert at 4 months last year..and well, I didn't make it.

I'm in that desert now..and come hell or high water.. I AM MAKING IT THROUGH.

I want to know what sobriety is at 6 months.
8 months..
1 Year
and on and on and on..

The landscape doesn't stop changing.

Everyday is the same when drinking..just more and more problems and feeling and life to avoid..in an alcoholic standstill.
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Old 11-02-2014, 10:39 PM
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If you are having depression and pain, alcohol is only going to make that worse. People have made some good suggestions about what to do physically, but maybe there are also some ways you can help yourself mentally. Since you have an interest in cheritable work, maybe you can get involved in an organization and help coordinate events and such. I'm sure there are ways you can stay involved in meaningful work while your body heals. It might help with your depression.
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Old 11-02-2014, 11:37 PM
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Hi! You're doing great to have over a month already . I've also been unable to exercise due to a foot injury and it's extremely frustrating. Painkillers will only mask the problem - have you considered going to a chiropractor and getting proper treatment? Don't let this downer give you an excuse to drink again - you would be feeling much worse after alcohol. Keep at it and keep posting, the support here is fantastic
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Old 11-02-2014, 11:55 PM
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well done on 1 month 4 days, I too did sober October to get my 2nd month under my belt, I can identify so much with your feelings, as im not that long away from those feelings myself,

month 1 I was on anti depressants (fluoxetine) and felt sh!t my doctor doubled my dose and I felt even worse,

im not telling you what to do, im no doctor, but I took myself off the fluoxetine, I did inform my doctor, i now feel much better, i was so down, no motivation, i felt like killing myself, now i feel on a level most of the time.

i also have put lots and lots of step work in to my life, ive gone through the 12 steps in the last 2 months, i now live the steps in my life the best i can, even though i don't believe in god, but you said you pray now, so i guess you don't have a problem with god

my only advice is keep at it, don't give up, it seems to me youre having episodes of euphoric recall, its part of how this illness gets us, cunning baffling powerful, my other advice is put some 12 step action in, its a programme of action, even though you pray, praying alone wont get you sober

from personal experience i can say it does get better, seriously hang in there

i wish you all the best

dave
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Old 11-03-2014, 05:46 AM
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Hi, RJ

Many congrats on your sobriety

Some great advice from these good people here. I'm only 20 days sober now, but yes, there have been some aches and pains that the drink had numbed out.

I do think it takes some time to begin to come around , in mind and body, from what others have said.


Good to meet you
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