TiredEnough

Well, here you go. I was on Valium for 8 years. I then started augmenting it with Ativan for several months after that. I was taking 20 mg of Valium and sometimes up to 5 mg of Ativan a day. So, thats a total equivalent of 70mg of valium per day. This was with 10-12 Norcos a day as well. I ct'd the Norco and felt awful for a couple of weeks. Then I ct'd the Valium and Ativan and felt way worse for about a month. Things slowly got better after a few months and now I am a-ok. So, no I dont think you are doomed. Does that help?

My wd symptoms were:

Migraine
Weakness
Tremors
Sweating
Nausea
Bad stomach issues
Sensitive to light and sound
Fatigue
Insomnia
Hallucinations Sound/Visual
Panic attacks
Generalized fear

fini

hm i'm not sure.
he went back to drinking several times and got stuck in the tapering efforts, and since we are cyber-friends, i can't reach him when he withdraws from contact.

but he did a whole bunch of research, and the "phenomenon" of being told by docs that in fact the withdrawal difficulties simply show that you need more or different drugs because supposedly the difficulties show that you have diagnosable conditions seems all too common.

hope you find something of use to you in your search.

and i in no way meant to imply you shouldn't be here, of course.

TheLastStraw

Got up the courage to go see a doctor in the next town over. Nearly got in an accident on the way. All that way to be told it was just anxiety and got a prescription for Ativan. What a joke. There is no way I can do be 2 hours to the city like this. I'm a danger to others. So much pain and mental torment...it just never ends. When will this all end??

TheLastStraw

Oh thank you thank you thank you. I really needed to read this. I had a lot of these, but they have gone away. Its mostly fear and breathing difficulties for me. How many months did it take? What did you do if anything to helo yourself? Or ia it really just a natter of time?

TheLastStraw

Thank you. I hope he is free and enjoying life.

Popeye2014

Take your Medicine as prescribed. You will feel better.

When I had anxiety, and the doctor gave me anxiety medicine, I took it. And I felt better.

Talking about anxiety a lot, sometimes makes it worse, for ME

TheLastStraw

Why would I take the **** that got me into this mess??? I don't get this forum. Just keep saying see your doctor, see your doctor, take your meds. The meds are what got me into this mess in the first place! Alcohol withdrawal was a joke. One panic attack. I need to talk to people and hear it will be OK. Not see your doctor. Not take your meds. Why on earth would I take more meds that put me in this spot?

Popeye2014

Sorry Straw, Im not saying anything else about this. I do not want Dee to kick me out of SR.

Medical advice is not Permitted! So, I guess asking for Medical advice would not be Permitted. I don't know any site that would allow that.

I hope you can find your happiness somehow. And I'm sure everyone at SR wish you the best.

TheLastStraw

I am so confused. What medical advice am I asking for??? I'm not asking for medical advice!!!! How is this a support forum when all I get told is to see a doctor? Is that the purpose of this? Omg...

I don't know what medical advice I am asking for here. I am telling my story and hoping others do the same.

MemphisBlues

TLS, my experience is vastly different than yours, as I was on klonopin for a decade and the last few years on a mega dose of 20 milligrams a day. There was a period of high stress where I was prescribed 30 milligrams a day.

You have a lot going on, and I feel for you. A reminder that the best thing you have going is five months of alcohol abstinence.

That said, I understand you are in a small town, but after more than two decades in psychiatric care for major depression, panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, and after four years of being in recovery from beer and benzos and pot, I would be most wary of a psychiatrist who I saw for one visit who quickly diagnosed me and told me I would be on medication for the rest of my life.

While it is rare or short-term benzo use to cause the symptoms you describe, from my readings over the past few years, it is not impossible. Add that with early alcohol recovery -- and five months is still early for most alcoholics -- and I think you just need to give all of this time.

There are benzo recovery forums littered with people experiencing the same thing you are going through who were on low doses of benzos and suffer mightily. That said, if you are like me, you can read those forums and find yourself manifesting the symptoms, so tread carefully.

A last cynical thought: A small town psychiatrist who sees you for an hour and offers the only solution as medication for life is also creating a patient for life, which may be a good business model for him but not necessarily the best care for you.

TheLastStraw

Thank you for your post. It is just so scary. I am all alone and don't know how long this is going to take. I'm sustaining myself on crackers and water.

I don't know if I would consider myself an alcoholic though. I just had one bad week and paid for it. Which is fine. I'm not tempted to drink. Or take another benzo!!

Its just rediculous. Totally rediculous that you can get this from such a short time period.

MemphisBlues

Listen, you saw another doctor as many of us here suggested and his solution was a benzo. Well, you are just going to have to decide if you want the relief the benzo will give you so you can get through this patch, or ride it out.

You say you are not an alcoholic, that you just had a one-week drunk going on, so if you're not going through alcohol recovery combined with benzo withdrawal, there really isn't much I can suggest other than find someone you trust who you can confide in -- friend or family or therapist -- who can help you rationalize through this.

When I was in my highest states of anxiety, I couldn't make rational decisions. WHen I was in panic mode, only fear, fight or flight guided me, not a way to make a decision that will have the best outcome.

Perhaps it is time for you to turn this over to a professional or find a loved one who can guide you through this.

Benzos taken short term under the care of a well-versed physician who understands the pitfalls and benefits of these drugs is your best way to go.

By my count, you've seen three doctors and each opted a benzo as a form of immediate relief. This isn't the time for me to get into a philosophical debate about benzos and psychiatric care in general. You're in crisis and you are limited in resources to deal with this.

Your only choice, actually, is to do what doctors are telling you at this time, stabilize your condition and get to a somewhat rational place where you can figure out how to expand your resources.

You're in a dangerous spot and that calls for getting help wherever and however you can through a medical professional. And therapy with a counselor or psychologist is a given in this situation.

TheLastStraw

OK...I will take the Ativan I guess.

TiredEnough

TLS, it was 2-3 weeks for the physical stuff and about 3 months for the mental. It wasn't 4 months of hell, though. It tapered off during that time.

Keep in mind, I took way more for way longer so yours might be much easier and shorter.

If my doc at this time said I needed to take benzos, I would refuse and demand another method of treatment. Just my opinion concerning my experience.

I did nothing but try to remain calm, understand what was happening rationally, and ride it out.

TiredEnough

I also wanted to say that driving during that time was terrible. I was nervous and scared to death only driving 30 minutes. I had panic attacks and my stomach got sick just driving that far. I had to pull over more than once. I had to pump myself up to leave the house and take nausea meds with me.

TheLastStraw

Thank you!!! That made me feel so much better. I hope mine is as short lived as my usage. You are a trooper.

Tetra

I hope you are feeling better.

I just wanted to say that I have been on klonopin for some time now due to alcohol related seizures and I am under the care of a neurologist.

I have not had a seizure for a few years now. Whether this is due to the medication or the fact that I have been free from alcohol for 4 months, I am not sure.

The last few times I saw my neurologist, he decreased my medication and I am now on a very low dose.

I will say that when I take my medication exactly as prescribed, I feel fine. When I was "messing" with it i.e. taking more than I should, and then lowering the dose myself, I felt really really awful.

I know you can get through this. Worry is the worst thing.

Also Memphis Blues gives excellent advice above.

TheLastStraw

Thank you Tetra. I just didn't know what I was getting into. I didn't know you had to taper off slowly. Doc said I could come right off after 3 weeks. Horrible medicine. Omg...