Hey, yeah, so, everything is ****, is this normal?
 

I'm on the verge, simultaneously, of being both fired and evicted. If that's not the like bifecta of homelessness waiting to happen, I don't know what is.

Every morning I decide I’m done, and every evening (almost) I drink way too much again.

At this point the thought patterns are so set in stone I wonder if my brain even, like, needs me to be there, or if it could get on fine without me.

The thoughts just sort of happen, and I look on like: Well, that’s a train wreck.

So.

Hey, I’m Ariel, I’m quitting booze today. Here goes. Let’s hope that this is true, and not more ********. Is there a difference between this time and every other day? Nope! Not except for the part where I’m posting this, I guess.

My rules starting today are/have been:

--I’m going to drive a different route home from work to avoid passing all the wonderful purveyors of various liquids I usually stop off at
--I’m going to read and post here every day, so, hi you fine folks
--I’m going to get a tattoo, maybe more than one; don’t ask; I need something to make me feel like I’m still a rebel, because I have a complex and booze is, like, the majority of my identity at this point

I’d love any words of encouragement from anyone who’s managed to quit after months and months of almost literally daily failing to quit … Cause that’s my story right now, and it feels a li’l pitiful at this point. Also is it possible to undergo eviction and being fired from the only industry you're skilled in, and to get on with life after? Ha ...

Side note? I've been reading on here and you are all lovely people. Seriously, I'm a bit dazed at there being so much nice in one place.

I quit just about every day for 10 years. Seriously. I would only buy enough for one more night because I was always going to quit tomorrow. I almost never had booze in the house overnight. When I did, dozens, maybe a hundred times I would dump anything that was left down the sink in the morning because this was it. By evening I was pacing my house like a caged animal, full of anxiety and boredom. Sometimes I would even make it for a day, but usually I'd just go out and buy some more for one more night.

Thoughts do just sort of happen, but you don't have to act on them. Instead of watching the train wreck, take the wheel and steer a new course! :)

You can do this!

I quit alcohol every day for a year, and every night there was still a party for one on my sofa!!

The reality is if we do nothing different, the results won't be any different, because addiction and alcohol are so ingrained in our daily routines and habits, so it's going to take a bit of work to break the cycle and good intentions on there own aren't going to cut it!!

It sounds like you've thought of a few things to do differently which is great!!

You can do this Ariel!! :)

HI, Ariel! We got your back. Someone's here 24/7/365 so Jump in the boat, grab an oar and start rowing.

Rebel against your history.

I hope the support here can help you stop drinking for good. :)

Ariel ! Welcome , very pretty name. It took me forever to do it ( slow learner) but I promise..... Every sip you take is damaging something... Relationships, job, finances, health, most of all your spirit. You can stop this now my friend!

If you really want to quit Ariel, you absolutely can.

"The only thing standing between you and your goal is the BS story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it."

I found that quote inspiring. I hope you do too. You can do this! You run the show - not alcohol!

Hi Ariel well done on finding us welcome to SR

When i finally realised i was alcoholic it took me 3 months of trying to get sober i kept building up time

1 day, 3, 5, 8,18 days i kept landing on my tush and eventually one saturday morning at 5am i decided i had enough i went through WD and it was im gonna drink im not gonna drink over and over it was horrible fighting and then once the worst was over i kept my head down and the sober days started to flourish

i broke my 18 day record that i set in them 3 months and im still going im 11 days away from 16 months sober

i say sometimes i compare my sobriety to the film cast away tom hanks cant get over that wave and has to work and improve himself to get over that wave and with time he does just that the end of the film is awesome where hes at the crossroads

Don't feel bad or be discouraged because you've tried and failed. Most of us here have done the same thing. But, know for sure that you can do this. There is hope.

Your plans sound good. I found changing my daily routine really helped in the early days. And, SR is an awesome place to visit and post.

Do you have support to get you through your current crisis?

if you lose your job and your home where will you go to get help ? you will have no internet and be homeless
maybe thats what it will take as it took me down to that level before i finally gave in

i carried on and on and lost more and more in the end i had nothing left to lose other than my life

thats the time i final gave in and i went to aa as there was no where else to go for me
thankfully it worked and my only mistake i made was i wish i had gone to aa sooner before i had lost it all it might just of made the difference for me

i hear you keep quiting all the time but whatever your doing isnt working for you is it so maybe its time to look again at what your doing to try to stay sober and quit ?

i can only offer up aa as its what worked for me but i had to lose it all before anything worked for me and thats what i hope others dont end up doing as believe me if you think you have problems in life at the moment, you should try it when there isnt anything left and no loved ones anymore

its the lonelyest place i have every been in my life i still to this day am amazed that i am still here and that i didnt just end up drinking myself to death

alcoholics seem to be survivors they come through some real hard knocks in life and they force anyone who loves them away and they dont mean to its just all part of how it is

anyway i hope you can find the help you need before you do lose it all as one thing is for sure we do lose it all if we dont stop there is no half measures

Yes, we are a pretty nice bunch. And welcome!!

Despite what you may be facing, being sober for it will make it all go more smoothly, kind of like eliminating the biggest problem of all right away.

We're here for you, be strong. Little victories first, then the bigger ones. You can do it.

Welcome Ariel! Sorry you're in such a crap situation right now.

To the above...I have a long history of getting sober for a while, then drinking, rinse and repeat.
I'm on day 16 right now after over a year of heavy daily drinking (mornings and all day, if I didn't have to work.) And about every third day I'd feel so ill and ashamed in the morning I'd tell myself this is IT, not drinking today.

Yeah. No. Eight hours later I'd be hitting the liquor store. :headbange

But somehow, 16 days now....feels really good, even though it's not exactly all kittens and unicorns farting sparkly rainbows; but it feels good to go to bed sober and wake up without a hangover.

You CAN do this. There is a ton of support and good information here.

We're with you Ariel - many of us have been through the same sort of thing. I wasted decades insisting I could be a social drinker if I just used enough willpower. I didn't get it until I joined SR and read everyone's experiences. I drank 30 yrs. and now am sober 6 - so it can definitely be done. Glad you are here with us.

Hi ariel - welcome :)

I tried for about 15 years, on and off, to quit. Starting with good intentions each days and then 5 minutes later out the door to buy booze.

I quit in 2007 - the differences being this place, and a firm commitment from me to take drinking away as a viable option.

It was hard when every cell in me wanted to drink, but there's support here, I got through it, and it got easier :)

glad you found us :)

D

Thanks you guys ... I'm so scared. Y'all helped when I didn't think anything could make me feel less scared today. I can't believe I got myself to this place in life, you know? But on the bright side (?), I've written enough articles about the homeless around here that if I become one I already know who to talk to and where to go. So that's good! I'm not even sure how much of this is sarcasm. Sorry, I'm usually in better humor.

Tomorrow, I start the push to impress my boss into keeping me despite the uh. Past. Jesus.

Yes - YOU are alive!!!
We've needed an Ariel for awhile - glad you finally showed up!
Welcome to the island of misfit toys. Happy you've made a decision to fight it.

I found SR and outside meetings a great combo - after 30 years of on/off today is day 147.
If I can do this anyone can !

Willingness, acceptance and desire are the keys.

Fly