Serenidad

I'm sick with some sort of virus, fever etc. I've been in bed all day trying to sleep. It's just me and my crazy brain that never shuts off!!! (At least not when I'm sober).

Well I AM sober and have been that way for several days. I'm committed to staying that way!

So right now it's just me and my crazy head. My anxiety is through the roof! I feel extremely depressed. I feel like crying but I can't because I'm afraid I won't stop. I feel angry and annoyed at my husband because he drives me nuts! We are at each other's throats constantly. My teenager has been getting acne and we got medicine but it's not working and I feel so bad for her. Guilt. Shame. Remorse. Self-hatred. Blah blah blah.

In a nutshell....I feel a sense of DOOM...panic....dark sadness. When I scan the "logical" part of my brain I realize that there is nothing really majorly wrong at this moment. But the crazy part of my head is telling me the world is ending or something! (Funny because I just recommended a book called "Peaceful Mind" to someone to read but I don't own it yet.)

This has to be withdrawal/early sobriety...right? If so I don't EVER want to go through this again and if I don't drink I won't have to, right?

Went back and forth about whether or not to post this. Thx in advance for any words of encouragement.

Aellyce

Hi Serenidad,

This can perfectly be withdrawal or the effects of early sobriety. Sounds like anxiety is big part of it. Try to find something that relaxes you and don't be hard on yourself. Try to eat and sleep well if at all possible.
All the best and keep going, it'll even out

PurpleKnight

Hang in there Serenidad!! This can be your last withdrawals if you want it to be!!

biminiblue

Oh, ugh. I remember too well. I used the phrase, "I want to crawl out of my skin," more than once.

I slept a lot and watched a lot of mindless Netflix. Jammies and hot chocolate cures a lot. Do you have a favorite movie? I watched and rewatched a few in that first month.




Hang in there.

LonelyShadow

It sounds like classic withdrawal to me too, it slows down and gets much better

Have plenty of water in you, for some reason I find it takes the edge off the anxiety.

And a really obvious one I know, it sounds simple but it's helped me in the past, count backwards from 100 and visualise each number in front of you Usually relaxes me.

Hang in there, we're rooting for you.

Soberwolf

Hang in there get well soon

strategery

I'm sorry Serenidad to hear you're sick and going through as much emotional turmoil. I'd be cranky if I was feeling sick too. Keep strong!

Anna

I think you will feel better soon, Serenidad.

The crazy anxiety was something that consumed me in the early days too. I would never want to go through that again, and you won't have to either.

Btw, my daughter is grown now, but the scenario with acne is something I relate to exactly. We tried medicine which didn't work, seemed to make things worse. She was 14 and blamed me, because that's what teenagers tend to do.

MavisTheFairy13

Keep at it, you're doing great and husbands are annoying lol . Things will get better, it all seems a lot worse when you're ill x

Nuudawn

Yep..sounds like withdrawal and heaps 'o anxiety to me. I'm at a stage of my own game where I have been raw for days...the slightest twig or twitch from another human feel like a threatening armageddon within my own interiors. Ya..not fun.


And ya know what dumbarse thing I did in all this emotional angst? Ya...I decided to get my hair done..to at least feel pretty. YA ..well..guess what happens when the hair thing don't turn out like you expected? Um..can you say...tremblings of nervous breakdown???? ...I looked like a freaking clown. I had blobs of freaking PINK in my hair. I allowed her to try and correct the mess she had made (she blamed the product)..and well... it was just another shade of hell...

I am currently sitting with drug store product on my head. At the very least, I will return to one colour for my trip. Argghh..

So ya..I hear ya.

Just don't drink sweetheart. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Breathe. And breathe again.
Just keep breathing.

Venecia

Hang in there, Serenidad.

And if you need a good chuckle, well ... there is a certain pink-haired friend who I think can help a lot. (It sounds very Patsy, Nuu. )

ArtFriend

Not trying to hijack this thread, but who is Patsy and how is Nuu related to her? I feel so (sob) left out...

Nuudawn

My Avatar is a character dear to my heart...Patsy from the BBC series "Absolutely Fabulous". Patsy and Edwina (Eddie & Pats)...well, they get into much stupidity. The drinking, smoking mess I once was...well, I fear I was getting very "Patsy".

Sorry to add to the "hijack"..Serindad. Hope you're feeling better hun.

Dee74

Hope you feel a little better serenidad

D

Thomasthetank

The anxiety has at various points, consumed my life serenidad, but it does fade. Bit by bit, the fog fades and you can start thinking clearly. This will get better the longer you stay sober.

SoberLeigh

Serenidad, that sounds miserable; hang tough; better days are just ahead.