Am I An Alcoholic?????
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 23
Am I An Alcoholic?????
At 22, almost all of my friends drink just as much as me or more. I definitely know that some of them are indeed alcoholics but they are refusing to admit it. But others, i'm not so sure. Is binge drinking just so common with our generation? Will most of them "grow out of it"? Or are they all alcoholics? Does that mean that maybe I can just "grow out of it" too, or am I an alcoholic? I was always able to function. I never let alcohol get in the way of my schooling or anything like that. There was always a place and time to drink. In fact, I was able to have just one or two drinks with dinner with my more "sober" friends because I didn't want them judging me if I ordered more drinks. It's not like every single time I ever drank I'd always get blacked out. I think it was more about who I hung out with. But believe me, I wanted to get drunk. Every time I drank. But I was able to control it sometimes. Most times, not though. Every weekend when I'd go out with my "party" friends, I drank usually til I blacked out. Followed by really bad physical and even worse moral hangovers. Feeling like absolute complete **** about myself. Wishing I was a "normal" and "good" girl who didn't drink. Trying not to remember all of the embarrassing things I did... I always felt like when I was drunk I turned into a different person. It was never me. And I hated feeling like that. I knew that drunk girl wasn't me. But I didn't care. Idk, though. Isn't this normal in today's day and age? Thoughts???
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,312
Feeling like absolute complete **** about myself. Wishing I was a "normal" and "good" girl who didn't drink. Trying not to remember all of the embarrassing things I did... I always felt like when I was drunk I turned into a different person. It was never me. And I hated feeling like that. I knew that drunk girl wasn't me. But I didn't care. Idk,
Most drinkers don't seem to suffer the mortifying embarrassment and guilt and shame we do...or if they do, they stop drinking.
Feeling like absolute crud about yourself is reason enough to do something about your drinking I think
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
Not trying to be a wise ars my answer is maybe yes and maybe no.
Over the years many have found that when we are trying to control something it’s an indication we’ve lost control and with alcohol it gets worse slowly or rocket fast.
So there’s your non answer.
BE WELL
Not trying to be a wise ars my answer is maybe yes and maybe no.
Over the years many have found that when we are trying to control something it’s an indication we’ve lost control and with alcohol it gets worse slowly or rocket fast.
So there’s your non answer.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Yew-Kay
Posts: 279
I think when we start to question if we have a problem, then we probably do.
People who drink 'socially', have a drink and then forget about it, until the next time they go out, or whatever.
I love long hot soapy baths. I have one and then forget about it until the next time. I don't obsess about wondering when I can have one and I certainly haven't looked for an online support forum to help. I know it's a stupid comparison but when it gets to the point of 'asking' then the answer is probably yes, in my opnion. x
People who drink 'socially', have a drink and then forget about it, until the next time they go out, or whatever.
I love long hot soapy baths. I have one and then forget about it until the next time. I don't obsess about wondering when I can have one and I certainly haven't looked for an online support forum to help. I know it's a stupid comparison but when it gets to the point of 'asking' then the answer is probably yes, in my opnion. x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: The Northland
Posts: 600
I've never stopped being embarrassed and sometimes mortified over things I've said and done while drinking, and I've been at it 40 years, so I think it's timeless. Over those years I've cycled through periods of light and heavy drinking but the only times I have completely abstained were during pregnancies and one stretch of five months four years ago. I wish I had made some changes when I was your age. Please take the time to look seriously at where you are and where you want to be.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
alaek - Welcome, glad you're here!
Good questions, most of which you'll have to answer on your own.
I drank in my 20's like you did - then my 30's, 40's and part of my 50's.
Some people are heavy/binge drinkers and simply grow up and out of the bad habit. For most of here, we never grew up - so to speak.
Thinking you have a problem, coupled with blackouts - not intending to get really drunk etc can be a big warning sign. Stop for 90 days - drink nothing. See if you experience the obsession to drink during this time and cravings.
Either way - you will find that a life without alcohol will present you with a better quality of daily existence and open doors you never dreamed of......
Thanks for the post!
fly
Good questions, most of which you'll have to answer on your own.
I drank in my 20's like you did - then my 30's, 40's and part of my 50's.
Some people are heavy/binge drinkers and simply grow up and out of the bad habit. For most of here, we never grew up - so to speak.
Thinking you have a problem, coupled with blackouts - not intending to get really drunk etc can be a big warning sign. Stop for 90 days - drink nothing. See if you experience the obsession to drink during this time and cravings.
Either way - you will find that a life without alcohol will present you with a better quality of daily existence and open doors you never dreamed of......
Thanks for the post!
fly
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,840
You've already received some great advice above, alaek.
Give sobriety a really good and fair try; use this time to measure and assess your cravings but, more importantly, to assess how you feel about yourself while living soberly.
I hope you find a renewed self-confidence and pride within.
Give sobriety a really good and fair try; use this time to measure and assess your cravings but, more importantly, to assess how you feel about yourself while living soberly.
I hope you find a renewed self-confidence and pride within.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 315
I can tell you that up to 22 days ago I asked the same questions-A LOT said the same things you are saying -OFTEN.
22 days ago was my last drunk night.
NOW, I KNOW I had a problem.
NOW I feel awesome, awake, alive and my questions are answered....
I have a problem - and not drinking is the simple solution!
22 days ago was my last drunk night.
NOW, I KNOW I had a problem.
NOW I feel awesome, awake, alive and my questions are answered....
I have a problem - and not drinking is the simple solution!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 124
It's a good question really. At what point do you become an alcoholic truly? And can you have drinking issues without being an alcoholic?
In a strange way, it's almost as if there more aware of your drinking you become, the more you feel like you have a problem. Yet there may be someone else who drinks the same amount but doesn't think about it as much.
Ultimately I think it's good to go beyond the labels of are we this or that. I know I am healthier, happier and generally better when I am sober.
I just feel sometimes like sober or non sober is important to not make this the main area of my life and how it defines me. It's good to not drink but this should not define me and I hope that when I go sober again, I can concentrate on other things more. The recent month of no drinking I did was great, but I just felt like all the time I was so conscious of not drinking. Hopefully after a longer time period, it would be just a habit I don't indulge in, like taking other drugs for example, instead of it being this big deal in my life..
In a strange way, it's almost as if there more aware of your drinking you become, the more you feel like you have a problem. Yet there may be someone else who drinks the same amount but doesn't think about it as much.
Ultimately I think it's good to go beyond the labels of are we this or that. I know I am healthier, happier and generally better when I am sober.
I just feel sometimes like sober or non sober is important to not make this the main area of my life and how it defines me. It's good to not drink but this should not define me and I hope that when I go sober again, I can concentrate on other things more. The recent month of no drinking I did was great, but I just felt like all the time I was so conscious of not drinking. Hopefully after a longer time period, it would be just a habit I don't indulge in, like taking other drugs for example, instead of it being this big deal in my life..
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,840
Originally Posted by George89 
It's a good question really. At what point do you become an alcoholic truly? And can you have drinking issues without being an alcoholic?
In a strange way, it's almost as if there more aware of your drinking you become, the more you feel like you have a problem. Yet there may be someone else who drinks the same amount but doesn't think about it as much.
Ultimately I think it's good to go beyond the labels of are we this or that. I know I am healthier, happier and generally better when I am sober.
I just feel sometimes like sober or non sober is important to not make this the main area of my life and how it defines me. It's good to not drink but this should not define me and I hope that when I go sober again, I can concentrate on other things more. The recent month of no drinking I did was great, but I just felt like all the time I was so conscious of not drinking. Hopefully after a longer time period, it would be just a habit I don't indulge in, like taking other drugs for example, instead of it being this big deal in my life..
In a strange way, it's almost as if there more aware of your drinking you become, the more you feel like you have a problem. Yet there may be someone else who drinks the same amount but doesn't think about it as much.
Ultimately I think it's good to go beyond the labels of are we this or that. I know I am healthier, happier and generally better when I am sober.
I just feel sometimes like sober or non sober is important to not make this the main area of my life and how it defines me. It's good to not drink but this should not define me and I hope that when I go sober again, I can concentrate on other things more. The recent month of no drinking I did was great, but I just felt like all the time I was so conscious of not drinking. Hopefully after a longer time period, it would be just a habit I don't indulge in, like taking other drugs for example, instead of it being this big deal in my life..
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by alaek
At 22, almost all of my friends drink just as much as me or more. I definitely know that some of them are indeed alcoholics but they are refusing to admit it. But others, i'm not so sure. Is binge drinking just so common with our generation? Will most of them "grow out of it"? Or are they all alcoholics? Does that mean that maybe I can just "grow out of it" too, or am I an alcoholic? I was always able to function. I never let alcohol get in the way of my schooling or anything like that. There was always a place and time to drink. In fact, I was able to have just one or two drinks with dinner with my more "sober" friends because I didn't want them judging me if I ordered more drinks. It's not like every single time I ever drank I'd always get blacked out. I think it was more about who I hung out with. But believe me, I wanted to get drunk. Every time I drank. But I was able to control it sometimes. Most times, not though. Every weekend when I'd go out with my "party" friends, I drank usually til I blacked out. Followed by really bad physical and even worse moral hangovers. Feeling like absolute complete **** about myself. Wishing I was a "normal" and "good" girl who didn't drink. Trying not to remember all of the embarrassing things I did... I always felt like when I was drunk I turned into a different person. It was never me. And I hated feeling like that. I knew that drunk girl wasn't me. But I didn't care. Idk, though. Isn't this normal in today's day and age? Thoughts???
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,745
I don't think it makes any difference what you call yourself. If drinking is causing problems, best to give it up. 
I did, nearly five years ago and don't regret a minute of it.
I did, nearly five years ago and don't regret a minute of it. Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 124
Originally Posted by least
I don't think it makes any difference what you call yourself. If drinking is causing problems, best to give it up. I did, nearly five years ago and don't regret a minute of it.
I did, nearly five years ago and don't regret a minute of it. Society is just so ****** up that not drinking makes you weird and different these days and seems to be attached to the stigma of being an alcoholic or outcast.
Actually we are the sane ones!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,791
First, welcome. This is a good place to be for support with addiction issues. Second, in my experience, if there's anything even close to a 'universal' truth about addiction it's this one: If you are far enough in to ask the question, the answer is yes, you have a problem. Please stick around and consider choosing sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Sometimes I miss drinking so much it hurts. I feel sad, almost grieving that part of me, grieving the alcohol, grieving the "fun" me
The difference I found was I had an unhealthy obsession over alcohol, if I couldn't have it I was sad, I would panic about not having enough in my house or what time last orders were at.
Alcoholism is more about the behaviours we have rather than sheer volume consumed, an unhealthy relationship with alcohol that can't continue, and something must have struck a chord in your behaviour to get you over 50+ days Sober!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: west coast us
Posts: 7
your post could have been written by me. i am trying the sober life and it's going really well. i am 31 and the blackouts and party nights continued with less frequency over the years. i wonder if i am an alcoholic, too or just more of a situational problem/binge drinker. i don't get blackout drunk with certain people and situations - when i am around partiers, it's likely to happen. when i am with a more chill crowd - i will usually control myself fine. ive decided to try sober life for a year, i am almost 4 months in. i don't get cravings but sometimes, mostly when i am around people drinking, i do want to be able to drink, too but i am fine with having booze in the house and not touching it. not sure if this helps you but know that there's lots of people out here with the same feelings and situations as you! good luck!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by noey82
your post could have been written by me. i am trying the sober life and it's going really well. i am 31 and the blackouts and party nights continued with less frequency over the years. i wonder if i am an alcoholic, too or just more of a situational problem/binge drinker. i don't get blackout drunk with certain people and situations - when i am around partiers, it's likely to happen. when i am with a more chill crowd - i will usually control myself fine. ive decided to try sober life for a year, i am almost 4 months in. i don't get cravings but sometimes, mostly when i am around people drinking, i do want to be able to drink, too but i am fine with having booze in the house and not touching it. not sure if this helps you but know that there's lots of people out here with the same feelings and situations as you! good luck!
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