Coming off a 2 day binge
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Northern Australia
Posts: 197
Coming off a 2 day binge
Hi all,
I joined SR a couple of months ago and have been sporadically checking in and reading the conversations here.
Over the past 6 years, I have undergone a medically assisted 1 week detox program 3 times. Most recently, 3 months ago. I drank nothing for around 3 weeks and then started up again. Over the last month, I have had a few alcohol free days but I have clearly slipped right back again. I keep trying. I had a friend visiting from interstate, and after work on Friday we went back to my place and got on it in a big way. Saturday morning (yesterday) I just kept right on drinking all day. I missed a good friend's 30th birthday because by 5pm I was far too trashed to leave the house. I started getting panicky around that time as I was running out of alcohol, so when another friend wanted to come over I had her bring me some beer. Today I missed an important rehearsal (I'm a musician) because I just felt too weak and sick to face it. So here I am now, been sitting at home all day hiding from everyone and everything and NOT drinking. Now the plan is to continue on with my sobriety and turn up for work tomorrow clean and sober. So that's where I'm at right now. Depressed, anxious but not drinking.
I joined SR a couple of months ago and have been sporadically checking in and reading the conversations here.
Over the past 6 years, I have undergone a medically assisted 1 week detox program 3 times. Most recently, 3 months ago. I drank nothing for around 3 weeks and then started up again. Over the last month, I have had a few alcohol free days but I have clearly slipped right back again. I keep trying. I had a friend visiting from interstate, and after work on Friday we went back to my place and got on it in a big way. Saturday morning (yesterday) I just kept right on drinking all day. I missed a good friend's 30th birthday because by 5pm I was far too trashed to leave the house. I started getting panicky around that time as I was running out of alcohol, so when another friend wanted to come over I had her bring me some beer. Today I missed an important rehearsal (I'm a musician) because I just felt too weak and sick to face it. So here I am now, been sitting at home all day hiding from everyone and everything and NOT drinking. Now the plan is to continue on with my sobriety and turn up for work tomorrow clean and sober. So that's where I'm at right now. Depressed, anxious but not drinking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
Do you have anyone to be accountable to for staying sober? Family, friends? I know many people don't like to tell people they are alcoholics but for me, that was a turning point. It can create some support for you and avoid friends bringing you alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
What you describe is all to common among alcoholics seeking sobriety and not quite getting it.
There is a lot involved and some of us may need a re hab for help which often helps.
For me I got sick and tired of being sick and tired concerning my failures trying to sober up. It was a time before the internet and the only show in town was AA which had worked for millions before me.
I was very comfortable being among people who understood yet wouldn’t put up with my BS as they had been in my spot themselves.
I needed to follow suggestions even when I didn’t want to. Going to many meetings and getting active by making coffee along with not drinking one day at a time in a row has resulted in a lot of sober years.
BE WELL
What you describe is all to common among alcoholics seeking sobriety and not quite getting it.
There is a lot involved and some of us may need a re hab for help which often helps.
For me I got sick and tired of being sick and tired concerning my failures trying to sober up. It was a time before the internet and the only show in town was AA which had worked for millions before me.
I was very comfortable being among people who understood yet wouldn’t put up with my BS as they had been in my spot themselves.
I needed to follow suggestions even when I didn’t want to. Going to many meetings and getting active by making coffee along with not drinking one day at a time in a row has resulted in a lot of sober years.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Northern Australia
Posts: 197
Hi. I am open about my alcohol problem and have been for the last few years. My friends are all aware, and generally try to be supportive, but yesterday my friend who brought the beer was having her own issues and I am very good at talking people into thinking that 'I'm fine, I'll have a drink today and then get back on the wagon'.
I am estranged from my parents and two brothers. I have had no contact with any of them for several months and they live thousands of miles away. I attended a Woman's AA meeting when I last did the detox through the hospital, and discovered that my ex boyfriend from 3 years ago (chronic alcoholic and physically abused me a lot when we were together) got clean with AA and still lives in town and attends many of the meetings. I wasn't prepared to risk running into him and so didn't pursue the AA meetings, figuring this was something that was 'his'. I am planning on getting some counselling and seeing a GP. I was prescribed naltrexone and that certainly helped the cravings, so perhaps I should try that again. I stopped taking it because I couldn't financially afford to renew my prescription at the time, but actually that's a bit of a cop out really. That sneaky little part of me that sabotages my attempts time and time again. Anyway, I'm ok tonight. I'll take a sleeping tablet in a while and try to get a good night's sleep, then off to work tomorrow. The real first danger time for me will be as soon as I finish work tomorrow. I'll need to go straight home and let myself just lie down for a while in the quiet. Onwards and upwards, right?
I am estranged from my parents and two brothers. I have had no contact with any of them for several months and they live thousands of miles away. I attended a Woman's AA meeting when I last did the detox through the hospital, and discovered that my ex boyfriend from 3 years ago (chronic alcoholic and physically abused me a lot when we were together) got clean with AA and still lives in town and attends many of the meetings. I wasn't prepared to risk running into him and so didn't pursue the AA meetings, figuring this was something that was 'his'. I am planning on getting some counselling and seeing a GP. I was prescribed naltrexone and that certainly helped the cravings, so perhaps I should try that again. I stopped taking it because I couldn't financially afford to renew my prescription at the time, but actually that's a bit of a cop out really. That sneaky little part of me that sabotages my attempts time and time again. Anyway, I'm ok tonight. I'll take a sleeping tablet in a while and try to get a good night's sleep, then off to work tomorrow. The real first danger time for me will be as soon as I finish work tomorrow. I'll need to go straight home and let myself just lie down for a while in the quiet. Onwards and upwards, right?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Go at things again, you'll get there!!
For me I really though needed to look at what activities I was getting involved in and the people I was hanging out with, the reason being every few weeks there is probably going to be something that will crop up, an event that could lead to drinking, a meeting with a friend, a birthday party, wedding, Xmas etc etc
Telling that friend you are not drinking or not going to that birthday party is going to be the reality to make Sobriety work!!
You can do this!!
For me I really though needed to look at what activities I was getting involved in and the people I was hanging out with, the reason being every few weeks there is probably going to be something that will crop up, an event that could lead to drinking, a meeting with a friend, a birthday party, wedding, Xmas etc etc
Telling that friend you are not drinking or not going to that birthday party is going to be the reality to make Sobriety work!!
You can do this!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Northern Australia
Posts: 197
Thanks everyone for your kind words and thoughts. I'm up, sober and getting ready for work after a somewhat sleepless night. Still feel better than I would have if I'd continued drinking yesterday. Today's plan: Get work out the way. Go straight home after, and attack the kitchen and general squalor of my flat. Tea, coffee and soft drink... check. Internet (and SR) access... check. Food... I have enough bits and pieces to make up a fairly respectable meal. Tomorrow I'll hit up the supermarket after work and get the bits and pieces which I know from experience are helpful for me to have around at this stage of my recovery. I struggle with food when drinking, ate one piece of horrible take away pizza yesterday so a bit weak. I'm about to throw down a muesli bar to get me started, and take it from there. I'll check back in about 6 hours after I've seen all my little musicians, who are a great lot of kids and are bound to cheer me up as well. Feeling quite optimistic, I'm in a better place physically and mentally than I have been in the past. I haven't been binging long enough this time to totally undo all the good work my last period of sobriety achieved. Thank you all so much, I'm glad I found you. Better get off now before I start blubbering in gratitude. Maybe later for that! Or maybe not. A somewhat erratic message, but I look forward to things calming down over the next week. I so look forward to that! xx
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