Day 1 ... Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 237
Day 1 ... Again
Hi everyone,
I've been reading SoberRecovery almost every day since I first got sober back in April but I never actually posted anything on here until now. I was sober for 6 months and recently tried to drink casually again. Needless to say, it was naive for me to believe that was a possibility and I'm starting over again today.
I'd really love any feedback on how you got sober and stayed sober, or even how you moved on from obsession over the drink? Even during my 6 months of sobriety I was basically a dry drunk talking about drinking every day. I've considered going to AA meetings but I've never gone to one. I'm just struggling to find happiness. I have no reason to be unhappy and drinking definitely does not make me happy, but for some reason I can't move on.
I've been reading SoberRecovery almost every day since I first got sober back in April but I never actually posted anything on here until now. I was sober for 6 months and recently tried to drink casually again. Needless to say, it was naive for me to believe that was a possibility and I'm starting over again today.
I'd really love any feedback on how you got sober and stayed sober, or even how you moved on from obsession over the drink? Even during my 6 months of sobriety I was basically a dry drunk talking about drinking every day. I've considered going to AA meetings but I've never gone to one. I'm just struggling to find happiness. I have no reason to be unhappy and drinking definitely does not make me happy, but for some reason I can't move on.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome come to the posting sides Kafkaesque!! 
I had to really accept that a period of abstinence in no way cured or healed me, that first drink would always spiral as bad as ever again over a few weeks, this was instead going to be a longterm project.
Doing more than not drinking was important for me too, simply not drinking created a lot of time sitting doing nothing bored, and guess what? thinking about drinking!!
Instead I needed to sit down and think about what I was interested in, rekindle old hobbies, fill my time with new activities, what was the point in getting Sober to do nothing with my life? think about new projects, things I now wanted to achieve, carve out a new Sober life I could be proud of!!
It'll take time, a new life can't be built overnight, but it can now be done without the shackles of alcohol weighing us down!!
I had to really accept that a period of abstinence in no way cured or healed me, that first drink would always spiral as bad as ever again over a few weeks, this was instead going to be a longterm project.
Doing more than not drinking was important for me too, simply not drinking created a lot of time sitting doing nothing bored, and guess what? thinking about drinking!!
Instead I needed to sit down and think about what I was interested in, rekindle old hobbies, fill my time with new activities, what was the point in getting Sober to do nothing with my life? think about new projects, things I now wanted to achieve, carve out a new Sober life I could be proud of!!
It'll take time, a new life can't be built overnight, but it can now be done without the shackles of alcohol weighing us down!!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
You've come to a good place for support.
I got sober nearly five years ago so that I could take better care of my dogs and cats. Still sober and still taking good care of them. And the rest of my life is going pretty well too.
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey Kafkaesque, welcome!
For me the key was to reinvent my life so booze had no place. I was all about the drinks too, but after a short health scare I changed things around.
I found that doing pretty intense cardio helped me not to want to drink. It definitely helped me sleep decent, which can be difficult when you first stop.
In the beginning it can be very hard if you don't have any form of a 'game plan.' I don't think it's too easy to just simply cut alcohol out of your life and continue as you were. I feel there needs to be more; which will be different for everybody.
For example:
If you were into the the nightclubs on the weekends, that might be one thing that will need to change. That sort of thing.
I think you'll find a lot of support here and I hope to see you around.
For me the key was to reinvent my life so booze had no place. I was all about the drinks too, but after a short health scare I changed things around.
I found that doing pretty intense cardio helped me not to want to drink. It definitely helped me sleep decent, which can be difficult when you first stop.
In the beginning it can be very hard if you don't have any form of a 'game plan.' I don't think it's too easy to just simply cut alcohol out of your life and continue as you were. I feel there needs to be more; which will be different for everybody.
For example:
If you were into the the nightclubs on the weekends, that might be one thing that will need to change. That sort of thing.
I think you'll find a lot of support here and I hope to see you around.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi Kafkaesque
I thought about drinking a lot too...then I thought a lot about not drinking and recovery...I figured thinking, even obsessing, was fine so long as I didn't drink - and I didn't.
It wasn't strength, not really. I wanted a new life and a new me - and I knew drinking was incompatible with those things.
eventually I built a new life for myself and I didn't need to be obsessive about negative things anymore.
Support can really help you get through those tough temptations moments - I'm glad you found us
D
I thought about drinking a lot too...then I thought a lot about not drinking and recovery...I figured thinking, even obsessing, was fine so long as I didn't drink - and I didn't.
It wasn't strength, not really. I wanted a new life and a new me - and I knew drinking was incompatible with those things.
eventually I built a new life for myself and I didn't need to be obsessive about negative things anymore.
Support can really help you get through those tough temptations moments - I'm glad you found us
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I did the exact same thing at almost six months.... Then went on an extended bender for a year and a half.
How did I get and stay sober?
How did I escape the obsession?
AA
SR
Keeping my head in the game every day.
Healthy alternatives
Therapy
Working the steps
How did I get and stay sober?
How did I escape the obsession?
AA
SR
Keeping my head in the game every day.
Healthy alternatives
Therapy
Working the steps
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 237
Thank you everyone for your advice and support! You all have helped more than you know. I think things will be different this time because at least I can have an outlet here rather than feeling like no one understands how I feel. I'm going to have to look into that Rational Recovery book and I think I might drop in on an AA meeting this week. I guess I've never really been able to let go of the mentality that I'll never have a drink again. Early on I had to tell myself just not today I won't drink to get past the initial few weeks. But after awhile I manipulated that thought process into maybe tomorrow I will drink. Obviously a huge mistake but I'm determined to make it work this time.
I know I need to find a hobby both to find happiness and to distract from the alcohol thoughts, but I just don't know where to start. I don't remember what I used to do before I got sober or what used to make me happy. Have any of you had those times where you're trying to find something fun to do during the weekend, but suddenly all of the things you used to do while drinking? I mean obviously bars come into mind but I was always drunk at the movies, I'd even sneak alcohol into the zoo or get plastered before dinner. I don't remember what I used to do before my drinking days and I'm worried repeating the same activities without the alcohol might make me more vulnerable to relapsing again.
I know I need to find a hobby both to find happiness and to distract from the alcohol thoughts, but I just don't know where to start. I don't remember what I used to do before I got sober or what used to make me happy. Have any of you had those times where you're trying to find something fun to do during the weekend, but suddenly all of the things you used to do while drinking? I mean obviously bars come into mind but I was always drunk at the movies, I'd even sneak alcohol into the zoo or get plastered before dinner. I don't remember what I used to do before my drinking days and I'm worried repeating the same activities without the alcohol might make me more vulnerable to relapsing again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
This list is a good place to start Kafkaesque
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
might give you some ideas?
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
might give you some ideas?
D
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