I don't want to quit
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 668
I was exactly the same. I knew I needed to stop but I didn't want to. I thought I enjoyed it, that it made me happy, that it made me feel better, that it made me fun. It was only when I finally realised it did none of those things that I could move forward. You can do this if you have accepted that too 
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
Hang in there. You will learn to love the sober you. Abusing drugs or alcohol involves too much ups and downs. I am always in a good mood now...because I am sober. I don't have lows...only highs. My life has improved so much since I became clean. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
I don't know if you can get and stay sober or not. I know that with negative feelings it's so much harder and as things get worse the harder it gets to stop.
At your time frame I needed close physical support to listen to and point the way they got and stay sober. They were tough and lovingly understood the pain by just looking at me.
Once I surrendered to the fact I can’t drink in safety and accepted that as fact things, me, started to get better by following their examples one day at a time in a row.
BE WELL
I don't know if you can get and stay sober or not. I know that with negative feelings it's so much harder and as things get worse the harder it gets to stop.
At your time frame I needed close physical support to listen to and point the way they got and stay sober. They were tough and lovingly understood the pain by just looking at me.
Once I surrendered to the fact I can’t drink in safety and accepted that as fact things, me, started to get better by following their examples one day at a time in a row.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
You're not alone. I liked drinking too. But it turned out that drinking was a very small part of the experience -- most of it was missed opportunities, regret, anxiety, undermined self-esteem, worry of premature death, oh and our old friend "crushing hangovers", and a financial burden I could do without.
It helped me to change my focus from the fun part to the not-fun parts, and there was nothing intellectually dishonest about that; those things are part of the deal for me. What was intellectually dishonest was when I chose to ignore the effects that my alcohol abuse was having on my life and health and financial wellbeing.
Good luck.
It helped me to change my focus from the fun part to the not-fun parts, and there was nothing intellectually dishonest about that; those things are part of the deal for me. What was intellectually dishonest was when I chose to ignore the effects that my alcohol abuse was having on my life and health and financial wellbeing.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
That's the problem with a lot of us, we forget all the pain and romanticize the good. If I was honest, alcohol was rarely good for me. Most of the time I ended up sick or hungover more than I had positives. That's just me, my body does not handle alcohol very well, yet I forced myself to drink in the later years. It's the great obsession of every alcoholic, returning to those few moments of bliss. Kind of reminds me of a crack or meth addict, most of the time it's bad (really bad) but we only remember the few moments of good. I spent way more hours hungover, sick in the bathroom, embarrassing myself, and causing drama than I had hours of bliss. 10 to 1 maybe? I had a couple of relapses and tried to recreate the bliss, and I failed miserably. So for me getting sober was almost an 18 month trial of sobriety/relapsing because I was convinced "I could handle it" or "I can recreate the euphoric feeling and quit there". NOPE within days back to fifth of Vodka a day, sick, missing work, crying, anxiety, I could continue. A lot of people have to have relapsing as part of their story, because they need to be absolutely convinced. I know it was for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Stay strong, Cindy. Sobriety takes much effort and early days can be really difficult. Stick with SR; there is always someone here to offer support and wisdom.
Sobriety's worth it, I promise.
Sobriety's worth it, I promise.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
For me I found that once I accepted....TRULY accepted the fact, that alcohol and I did not get along well at all and that the negative consequences would eventually be my end, I was able to find peace and serenity in being a non-drinker. Your journey will get easier.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000 
From the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous
FOR MOST normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt-and one more failure.
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did-then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don’t miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drink-ers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn’t happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
FOR MOST normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt-and one more failure.
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did-then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don’t miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drink-ers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn’t happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
Bunnez
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 129
At first success might come in small amounts. But like the little train that keeps on, we will eventually succeed at full time. Small amounts build up to be bigger and bigger amounts. It's like practice. At first I was practicing at sobriety and getting the feeling for it. Now I am still practicing but definitely becoming an expert at sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Aberdeen SD
Posts: 180
Originally Posted by CindyO
I love how alcohol makes me feel. Confident, awesome. Day four of quitting because it's a lie. I hate it. My husband knows. Hate it. Day 4. Bad week.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
