Charlie117926

Only the wrong type of intervention!!

Since getting sober I have put a distance between myself and my friends as we / they are all heavy beer drinkers and as we are all aware I cant drink anymore.

They thought something was wrong with me since they have not seen me for a while. So what do they do? They show up at my house with a 30 pack to "find out" what's up and make sure "I'm okay."

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate their efforts in checking in on there old buddy, but what a contrast from what I am trying to do and what they are trying to do for me.

It ended well as my kids had sports activities so I couldn't hang around anyway. I bid them a farewell and off they went with there 30 pack. Like I posted earlier, I miss them, they are all childhood friends. But I am on a different path now.

This was too odd of a story (my definition of intervention and their definition of intervention) not to share with my SR family

Soberwolf

Says it all doesnt it ?

did you tell them you dont drink ?

Well done on your choice of path awesome post Charlie

LBrain

Did you tell them you quit drinking and are staying sober?
If you are keeping it a secret and avoiding them knowing then what do you expect?
Eventually they will find out, unless you keep them out of your life forever.
Let them know. If they can't deal with it - f'em. If they are real friends they will understand and support you.

LonelyShadow

A number of my friends sometimes suggest I try drinking, it used to really anger me but I found that all I had to do was explain that for me it can honestly be fatal if I start drinking again. Once they understand the seriousness of it they stopped suggesting it.

Charlie117926

I haven't told them I quit. I have been drinking with them for so many years and I am just not to that point yet with them. It's still too personal at this point or maybe I am too chicken #$^@ to tell them right now.

But, I didn't drink!!

Thomasthetank

I understand why you wouldn't want to go around making a point of telling everyone you don't drink. Drinkers tend to feel like your judging them and convince you that your drinking is fine, likely because their drinking is similar or worse and you having a problem means they also have a problem.

I completely get it. It's stress you don't need.

Unfortunately the price for avoiding that stress is stuff like this happening. Personally I just tell them I'm not drinking for health reasons, if they ask further, I'd say I just don't want to discuss it.

It's nobody's business whether or why I'm not drinking.

fridgey

your humanity is defined by your actions, it's lack by your fear and want to belong. Your children need you as a mother who is a woman who is getting to know herself. Well done.

Charlie117926

Hey Fridgey. I'm a guy but your post is valid and on point. Thanks for posting.

anattaboy

Congrats on making it through that one. I would have told them but respect your decision. Not having one (or 7) sends the same message so WTG!

ForMeForThem

Well done Charlie! It took me awhile to tell friends and family that I don't drink, rather than just avoiding the topic. But when I did, I found I had built it up to be a bigger deal than it actually was to them. I hope you find that too. Great job resisting any pressure to drink! Keep it going!

razor15

Good on you for handling this. What irony! I'm sorry but I chuckled a bit reading your post. It's so understandable, and even commendable, that your buddies are worrying and came to "help". But boy, isn't that the last thing you need!

I understand you not telling them at this point, and I'm sure you will when you feel it's right. The main thing of course, is that you stayed on the path.

Have a fantastic day!

Charlie117926

I agree razor. I laughed for a while myself. Oh the Irony...

I was really proud of the strength I had. Not too long ago I would have told the wife some excuse and had her take the kids and I would have weaseled out of my commitments and drank. VICTORY IS MINE!!!

DoloresHaze

I can see the dillema. Whenever one of my friends broadcasts, "I don't drink" I think "who do you think you are? Mother Theresa? Get the stick out of your butt."

But now that it's me, (although VERY early in non-drinking) I don't want to seem like i'm trying to be a saint or something. believe me, I'd drink ALL THE TIME if there were no negative consequences.

steffie

Right on Charlie that's awesome

FreeOwl

what a glaring example of the prevailing attitudes we can often face in recovery.

good on ya for riding that out successfully!

GracieLou

This is the most important thing! Good job

razor15

Victory indeed! That is sweet. That was a big moment.

The "reverse intervention"..lol. I'm sorry and hope it's not offside here to say that really makes me laugh. I just can completely picture you opening the door and 3 friends there holding cases of beer! Oh dear.

Charlie117926

Its not offside at all. That's exactly how it went down. And as you put it, it was there "reverse intervention" (they actually used the word intervention) and it is funny. I am just glad I am getting to the point that I can now laugh at such things.

razor15

Me too

MyTime86

That's something my friends would do.. You should tell them though, it might not seem like it but it will help. I'm sure they will support you