Done70

I am 44 years old and I have let alcohol control and ruin my life. I have chose it over my wife, my kids and myself. My marriage hangs on by a thread as I write this. I know my kids are embassed by me and ashamed of me. I've wanted to stop so many times, and broken so many promises to my wife. Honestly I don't know why she has stood by me as long as she has. For many years I refused to admit I had a problem, but for the last 2 or 3 years I have admitted to myself that I have a very serious problem. I just don't know how to stop. I feel like I have to drink beer to live, and I know that's not right.

Stevie1

It sucks, doesn't it? Well done you for stepping up to the plate and acknowledging it's a problem.

There are many resources available to you; spend some time reading here because this is a treasure trove of information on "how to stop." AA, secular options, etc.

Welcome to SR.

Done70

Thank you Stevie1. I'm ready to be sober, I have wanted to for along time, but I was lazy about it. And of course I thought I could control it, but in reallity "it" has controlled me and almost every aspect of my life.

AllNew

Hi Done & welcome. It's hard but you can do it and will always get support here. I know how you feel.

escapethecycle2

Totally horrid, I know. I picked alcohol over everyone including myself. The things you're saying are a start to a good change. You need support and a safe place to be honest about drinking and the reality of your situation. Sometimes speaking honestly validates things that you may be indecisive about. Drinking should never be first priority with anyone, so that should help with some indecision about whether or not you need alcohol to live. You might have a physical dependence but you certainly don't need alcohol to experience happiness. More often than not, alcohol CAUSES depression and anxiety. Once you get past the initial anxiety you will feel better than you have in years and you will feel so grateful to be alive. Give yourself a chance to experience total sobriety for one week and journal your feelings. Find yourself again. We are all on your side.
Your friend in sobriety.

Chiffon

Done

least

Welcome to a very supportive site. You are smart to quit drinking. I quit nearly five years ago and only wish I'd done it sooner.

I'm glad you joined the SR family.

Nuudawn

Hey..you're going to do great here! It's kind of a pre-requisite round these parts. Welcome. You're among friends.

Dee74

Welcome Done

I felt like that too and no - it's not right. You have to get past the fear of change and have a little faith that things will turn out...cos they will.

There's a great sober life out there with your name on it - I promise

D

Stayingsober72

Welcome Done. You've made a great decision for your life and for your family. Keep seeking support and sobriety. Your family needs you. I wish you the best!

pupkin

I've been right there, Done70. Same story. Welcome to SR--you're in the right place.

hayley86

Welcome! You'll find a lot of support and great advice here. Glad you've joined us.

Soberwolf

Welcome Done to SR

Really nice to meet you

goose333

Done,
You are just like me and so many others here. We thought we could control it. We can't and we had to prove that to ourselves first. It's a huge step because this is not easy and you have to be 100% committed.
So make a plan. How are you going to do this? How will you handle the cravings? I suggest telling your wife you are doing this and asking for her to help would be good. Coming clean to my wife really helped me. She is a great partner in supporting me and provides encouragement daily.
And take that quote above and save it somewhere. Read it every day. Read it when the cravings come and tell your AV it's not going to control you anymore. You are the boss now!

Done70

Thanks to everyone that has replied, and your words of encouragement. I know I have a rough road ahead of me, but I want to do this.

LBrain

Welcome Done70. The important thing is understanding that this is a total commitment.
Many years ago my ex-wife asked me if I was going to quit drinking beer. I said, "No effin way." Did that stop me from drinking after the divorce? Nope. I had a DUI since then. Did that stop me from drinking? Nope. I lost my job from drinking. Did that finally wise me up? Yep. Don't know it's relevance, but having had many signs and negative events throughout my history of drinking you would think I would have stopped. My bottom was losing a job.
If you realize what can happen if you don't correct the situation now, you will be setting yourself up for events that may be costly down the road - physical, mental and emotional for not only you.
Welcome, good luck.

Winterkat

Well, Done70, I have no brilliant words of wisdom because I'm squeaky new here myself, but it think that anytime we can actually look in the mirror and be completely honest with ourselves, there is hope.

Good luck on your journey.

Anna

Welcome, Done!

As you expect, this won't be easy, but I know that you can do it.

We are here to support you.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Done!! Great to have you here!!

ru12

Congratulations on your decision. Isn't it wonderful to know that you never have to drink again?! Think of the freedom... You can drive anywhere, at any hour, and not put yourself or others at risk. And the money you will save ... Thousands a year probably.