I slipped
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: London, England
Posts: 1,710
I slipped
So, I made it to 6 days, and then last night I slipped.
The crazy thing is yesterday I felt better than I had in years. So full of energy, so happy, found myself laughing in a really joyous way at stupid things.
Then when the evening came on, I started getting cravings, and my AV went wild. I basically told myself - look, you're never gonna be able to keep this up long term, so why not just jack it in now?
And that's what I did, and now instead of feeling great, as I had for the last few days, I feel hungover, and disappointed with myself.
I also feel that I've let down all the people who offered me such encouragement since I came on here.
Well, I'm gonna try and learn from this. I know that I did not have a strong enough plan in place - in fact, I barely had a plan - to deal with cravings, and my AV. I should have gone to the gym, I should have gone to AA.
So, basically, I'm gonna get straight back in, and try to do it better this time.
Hope all of you are doing good today.
The crazy thing is yesterday I felt better than I had in years. So full of energy, so happy, found myself laughing in a really joyous way at stupid things.
Then when the evening came on, I started getting cravings, and my AV went wild. I basically told myself - look, you're never gonna be able to keep this up long term, so why not just jack it in now?
And that's what I did, and now instead of feeling great, as I had for the last few days, I feel hungover, and disappointed with myself.
I also feel that I've let down all the people who offered me such encouragement since I came on here.
Well, I'm gonna try and learn from this. I know that I did not have a strong enough plan in place - in fact, I barely had a plan - to deal with cravings, and my AV. I should have gone to the gym, I should have gone to AA.
So, basically, I'm gonna get straight back in, and try to do it better this time.
Hope all of you are doing good today.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Sorry it happened but ditto on what MS said. When I felt the best is when I felt most vulnerable. Now you know to be on guard.
Your AV wants you to believe that you can never do this, so why bother trying. That isn't true. Pick yourself up, don't beat yourself up.
Your AV wants you to believe that you can never do this, so why bother trying. That isn't true. Pick yourself up, don't beat yourself up.
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
You so can do this, Jack! In fact, you've come straight back on here so you're already doing it 
And you tell your AV that HeadLump has done this for 21 months and counting - and she's nothing special. So if she can do it, so can you!
And you tell your AV that HeadLump has done this for 21 months and counting - and she's nothing special. So if she can do it, so can you!
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
I don't think there is anyone on this board who hasn't slipped at some point in their quest for sobriety. I know I have, many, many times.
Now I'm 18 days sober with the help of these good people and recently, AA also.
Well done for coming straight back at it.
Now I'm 18 days sober with the help of these good people and recently, AA also.
Well done for coming straight back at it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: uk east yorkshire
Posts: 115
sorry to hear this, you have to be on guard 24/7 especially in the early days, the amount of times I drank because I felt happy??
don't beat your self up just forgive yourself and get straight back in there to recovery, AA tonight might be a good option
good luck
don't beat your self up just forgive yourself and get straight back in there to recovery, AA tonight might be a good option
good luck
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Hey Jack; you haven't let us down; quite the contrary - you came right back after your slip. Our AV tells us many things which simply aren't true; have you looked into AVRT?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
(And HeadLump, au contraire mon ami; you ARE special).
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
(And HeadLump, au contraire mon ami; you ARE special).
2Cor5:17
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 4,187
Good to see you back in the saddle! Don't look @ it as long term;just focus on today & live sober today. As long as I don't quit trying, then I'm not a failure. Glad that when I was done coz then was truly done. Alc stopped working for me & so even if got urge today, which haven't in long time, sanity would kick in & say I wouldn't enjoy it coz can't drink on truth. Also why would I create another regret & throw my time gotten through lots of pain & heart ache?
Hope you have a sponsor, work the steps & get active in aa(just my suggestion)
Best wishes
Hope you have a sponsor, work the steps & get active in aa(just my suggestion)
Best wishes
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by Jack16 
And that's what I did, and now instead of feeling great, as I had for the last few days, I feel hungover, and disappointed with myself.
This is why will power never worked for me. While I am feeling like crap I can say no, but the second I feel good, I was right back at it. My relapse lasted ten years, I am glad you have more sense than I did.
You did not disappoint us. We understand!
Get back on the horse and do it differently this time. Get to AA or another recovery option and get a plan in place. Stick to the plan no matter how good you feel or how bad you feel. I was never to tired to drink so I was never to tired to go to a meeting. I was never to sick to drink so I was never to sick to go to a meeting. I was never to bored to drink so I was never to bored to go to a meeting…you get the idea.
I always asked myself no matter what excuse I came up with…Would this “excuse” have stopped me from drinking? and the answer was usually no, so I got to a meeting.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Glad you're back, Jack! Sorry you slipped, but learn from your mistakes. Took many of us; me included; several times before giving in unconditionally to sobriety.
You have to make the decision and be 110% committed, all-in. At least that's what had to happen for me. I'm still early into this whole sober thing, but, I now truly realize I can't drink again, ever. Before, I would just tell myself that, but in the back of my mind I knew the option to drink was there and I might use it again someday...
It took me 21 years and several bad relapses to realize it has to be this way. No drinking again, ever; not today, tomorrow, next week or month. It's so much easier once you take that stance versus wondering when you will relapse again.
You can do it. Read and post often. That's what helped me get through the very early days and keeps me in check today at day 115.
Best of luck!
You have to make the decision and be 110% committed, all-in. At least that's what had to happen for me. I'm still early into this whole sober thing, but, I now truly realize I can't drink again, ever. Before, I would just tell myself that, but in the back of my mind I knew the option to drink was there and I might use it again someday...
It took me 21 years and several bad relapses to realize it has to be this way. No drinking again, ever; not today, tomorrow, next week or month. It's so much easier once you take that stance versus wondering when you will relapse again.
You can do it. Read and post often. That's what helped me get through the very early days and keeps me in check today at day 115.
Best of luck!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
I was happy today, my day 12, so was my oh, his day 12, so we decided to have a,few beers, coz we're in a hotel, there's a bar etc etc... Except we didn't do it! Unspoken we just occupied ourselvs, ate chocolate and didn't drink. Wow, a joint first... So keep practising and you will get better at not giving in when u r happy. Fruit n nut helps tremendously��
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