Waking up from the nightmare
 

I am overwhelmed with this feeling of gratitude. I have tried to get sober in the past and I was always feeling like every minute away from alcohol was hell. I had my moment of clarity, and until I experienced it firsthand I would roll my eyes at that statement. I feel so unbelievably happy to be sober. I was self medicating my anxiety and was unaware that I hadn't stopped to wonder, "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" Was I drinking because I was anxious or was I anxious because I was drinking?" I have been sober for close to two weeks and that is a big step for me. I have been abusing alcohol for about seven years, aside from my two back to back pregnancies. I looked so healthy and vibrant while pregnant... and at 27 I am realizing that alcohol is a beast that I cannot conquer. It does nothing for my head, my heart, my looks, or my relationships (and my god the gastritis, wahhhhhh haha). I am lucky to be alive. Im lucky to feel the ups and downs and take it in stride. I am lucky to have made sense of the poisoning I was enduring and looking the other way. I cannot be moderate because I have an addictive personality. But in that, there is light. As addicts we all can channel our drive into positive things, with the assurance that we will take THAT too far also. :)
thanks for reading and supporting me when I need it most...As your friend, the stranger, I need all of you to be strong along with me. Thanks for the inspiration.

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Good for you, escape!!

Welcome to the Forum!! Great job on your Sober time!! :)

Welcome to the SR family! :hug: Congrats on getting to two weeks sober. That's a great start to a better life. :)

And you're right. It is like waking up from a nightmare.

Thanks so much to all of you. I was a little too high functioning with my bottle to a bottle and a half of red wine a day. The lies I told myself got old and the depression was rising. I realized that alcohol was the cause of and solution to my problems, HA. Cutting alcohol out was all I needed to do. It wasn't helping my perceived declining health. It WAS CAUSING IT. Unreal how much denial there is about alcohol. The whole "moderation" belief doesn't sit well with me because I cannot imagine poison being good in moderation. It's a big industry that I can't fight, but I can definitely not support or condone it. It has claimed countless lives and I frankly am beginning to hate that it's so widely accepted. Thank you all.

Welcome to the forum really nice to meet you

Welcome , Escape. You are so right - in the midst of an addictive personality there IS light. That's a lovely thought, so inspirational.

Well done on your soberness, glad you found us. I'm 18 days sober now, and discovering that light too.

So glad you are here! And keep on plugging away!