First time I have really considered drinking
 

Had a horrible day at work. I have no respect for any of my supervisors and I am disappointed in them. One of them dropped the ball and now it's throwing it back to me. For the first time I went "I wish I could drink a martini"...

I'm not but arghhhh. He's like "you shouldn't care", but I'm just not wired that way and my job does affect me. I'm not drinking but I want to stab him in the eye... I'm trying to be better but I cant. I vented to him because of something and this is what he comes up with? I thought that as a supervisor I could come to him with my concerns and issues but I guess not. That's what happens when you work for the government... I keep telling myself that it's just my job but I can't stand seeing some of the things that go on.

How do I learn to not care?!?!?

If your job is making you feel like stabbing your boss in the eye then i suggest a new job

either that or you try your hardest not to let it get to you like this is there a chance you can talk about it with your boss ?

sorry you feel like this

For me stress at work was a huge hurdle I had to overcome.

In Sobriety we now need to figure out a way to deal with life's ups and down's, because they still will happen, and without the quick fix of alcohol, we need new tools in the toolbox.

Almost every 2nd day at work is a stressful one for me, I find going for a long walk in the evenings, plenty of fresh air to clear my mind helps, I've adjusted my diet to a healthier one, more exercise, more sleep, plenty of relaxation.

Even in Sobriety some jobs can still be tough, but reaching for our old friend alcohol is not the answer, we need to work out a new way of dealing with life!!

Hang in there!! :)

I'm asking for a meeting with supervisor and boss. You guys are right. Shouldn't affect me like this...

Hi nowisthetime :)

I don't think there's anything wrong with caring - not at all - but when you care so much that you want to stab someone in the eye, it's time to step back and look at things.

I had to learn that what other people do is not under my control - but my reactions to those things are.

All I can do is my best - sometimes other people will throw things back at me or blame me for things...it is what it is.

I try and put it all in perspective. I'm alive and I'm sober and in good health. Everything after that really is gravy - y'know? :)

D

I want to frame this and put it on my wall. Well said!:c011:

I know guys but it's hard to control feelings specially when I see all the waste because of people dropping the ball. Its a long story but it's been like the Chinese torture of the drop of water in the head. In a nutshell I have to babysit and fix someone else mistakes, cover her tracks, bend backwards and never say no. This person makes 10k more than me, and it just burns. Now the problem is that my supervisors were supposed to give me a response about something and they didn't and then it blew up. I know I shouldn't get so mad. (I'm really not stabbing anyone ;) ) I have over 7 months, I'm healthy, I have a beautiful family... I feel blessed and so happy in this moment in my life. Writing it down is really putting it into perspective.

Now: this is the strange thing, why was I thinking "I wish I could have 1 to relax"... Immediate, my AV jumps on it... I thought about it for a little bit, I mean, my AV was shouting. Why revert to that? Is it going to be like this forever for me... Arghhhhh... The truth is putting it here helps. I thought of posting right away. I'm just impulsive. The leit motif of my life is putting my foot in my mouth. Plus, I do CARE! I just had a tiny raise after 5 years of nothing, ZIP, and seeing money wasted is disappointing. Everybody else complains but does nothing... Ok bla bla, over that. I'm young and I'm still maturing and changing but geezzzz. I need to stop caring about it, I guess that's what happens when you work for the government.

I might not even ask for that meeting. I'll address it when they bring it up but I'm not fuzzing! F it. (Pardon my French.)

I used to work in Government.
I've seen many caring dedicated workers break like waves against a wall of mediocrity.

The best advice I can give you is be dedicated - be caring - but don't let others failure to meet your expectations rule you, Now :)

D

Dear Dee: I'm realizing that a lot of my internal turmoil is directly related to my expectations of others. One of my favorite thing here is reading what people quote and the Zen proverb "let go or be dragged" really needs to be applied here. This job is just a stepping stone in my career and to be honest I do have a sweet deal and I do enjoy it...

When I was young I really made fun of clichés but as I get older I realize that the majority are true or meaningful. Let it be... Time flies... Etc.

I have told a lot of people that I have quit drinking. I even told my coworker I wish I could have a martini... Now I'm regretting I'm regretting saying that but again... Foot in mouth. When will I learn...

Believe me I understand :)

My inability to let go fuelled my alcoholism and other addictions. A really messy vicious cycle.

D

Nice to hear somebody - YOU - give a damn! Thanks for all your efforts!

Golfer Sam Sneed was asked why he played the game professionally - He responded - I really don't care for golf all that much, but need the money so I may hunt and fish!

Thanks for the post
fly

Write a gratitude list

Be thankful you have a job! Should your work become totally unbearable, start looking for other employment .

I drank for years frustrated with the powers that be.
I drank myself out of that job.
I'm with Dee on this now.

I started going by this montra this year and it really helps me get over work and personal transgressions; Why are you mad or hurt? Because what they did was wrong and they shouldn't do it. Do you have control over that? No. Will things like this happen again in the future? Most likely. THEN LET IT GO.

I love that you care! I say, don't squash that part. Just modify how you care.

Nowsthetime, I can totally relate. I, too, have a stressful job, and it is a job that I also really care about. I can get very entangled in folks' monkey business, and as a supervisor, I often find myself having to deal with that business, regardless of whether I want to or not.

Lately, I have been repeating a saying of my father's: "Don't love something that can't love you back." That is, love partners, children, family, friends, cats and dogs and other critters, but not things. Houses, cars, possessions, jobs (and maybe even nontangibles, like status, influence). It has helped me to healthily detach and has made me a better colleague too. I also find that, not hungover, I'm not as on edge. I might get annoyed, but at least I'm not negotiating a wicked head and a swirling stomach at the same time. If nothing else, I think to myself, I'm not going to let this turkey be the reason I loose my sobriety! :dance4:

Lately, I have been repeating a saying of my father's: "Don't love something that can't love you back." That is, love partners, children, family, friends, cats and dogs and other critters, but not things. Houses, cars, possessions, jobs (and maybe even nontangibles, like status, influence)

So very very true! Everyone can learn from this.