Day 4 - First Post
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 18
Day 4 - First Post
Hi everyone my name is Sean. I am an alcoholic.
I'm 44 years old, married, 2 kids, stable job and hold down the fort.
I guess that would put me in the category of a high functioning alcoholic, but I have a problem none the less.
How did this all start?
It all started in 1986 when I was 16 years old. My friends and I went off campus for lunch with another kid that was held back a couple of years. To his advantage he was 6 feet tall and looked older for his age. I don't really recall who had the idea to get some beer at lunch, but some how we all agreed it would be cool and that this guy wouldn't any problems getting beer for us. I remember it like it was yesterday. Standing back behind the local 7-11 drinking little kings getting drunk for the first time. I was socially awkward and shy, but soon realized my personality was a complete 180 with a few beers in me. All of a sudden I could talk to anyone and flirt with girls and not have a care in the world what they thought about me.
Over the years I thought I hit bottom, but I was wrong:
1988 - Landed a night in jail for smoking pot
1990 - Landed a night in jail for passing out my moms car. I left the car in idle at a red light and put the car in park. Fortunately I didn't get a DUI for this.
1992 - Pass out drunk at co-workers house and he molested me. How do I know this? The sick bastard took pictures and showed me the next morning.
1996 - Landed a night in jail for domestic violence. Wife was nagging at me for not cleaning something before she came home. I had only had a few beers in me, but I was loosened up enough to verbally fight back. Well, things escalated. She threw stuff at me and I broke some of her stuff. She called the cops and I lost that fight. The man usually does.
1998 - I had been sober for over a year, but was invited to a party at my bosses home. I didn't was to feel left out and decided to drink. The only thing I remember was waking up on my bathroom floor naked in my own vomit. Yeah, my wife left me there. I don't blame her at all.
Need I go on?
Fast forward to 2014.....
I've settled down and don't get raging drunk to where I'm hung over anymore. I haven't been hung over for at least 10 years.
I've been a weekend warrior now for a long time. Friday and Saturdays nights of beer drinking for as long as I can remember. In addition to this it always leads to overeating and I'd say I'm a solid 50lbs over weight.
So here I am.
I quit again on Sunday. 4 days sober.
It's very easy for me to not drink during the week, but the weekends are just murder for me. Beer is everywhere and nearly impossible to avoid.
* Eating out at restaurants
* Sports bars
* The gas station
* Drive thru Beer Barns
* The bowling alley
* My home (I have a wonderful collection of steins and beer mugs I've collected over the years.)
***It's everywhere I go!
This is my first to join a forum about my problem and this is also my first time to verbal admit that I'm an alcoholic.
I'm so tired of this. I want to be me again. I want to re-wind to 1986 and just say NO!
I quit.
I'm done.
No more.
Never again.....
Sorry....I'm at work. The tears just welled up in my eyes as I wrote these last few lines.
I quit...again
Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings. I know, this is some pretty heavy stuff for Wednesday afternoon at work.
Thanks,
Sean
I'm 44 years old, married, 2 kids, stable job and hold down the fort.
I guess that would put me in the category of a high functioning alcoholic, but I have a problem none the less.
How did this all start?
It all started in 1986 when I was 16 years old. My friends and I went off campus for lunch with another kid that was held back a couple of years. To his advantage he was 6 feet tall and looked older for his age. I don't really recall who had the idea to get some beer at lunch, but some how we all agreed it would be cool and that this guy wouldn't any problems getting beer for us. I remember it like it was yesterday. Standing back behind the local 7-11 drinking little kings getting drunk for the first time. I was socially awkward and shy, but soon realized my personality was a complete 180 with a few beers in me. All of a sudden I could talk to anyone and flirt with girls and not have a care in the world what they thought about me.
Over the years I thought I hit bottom, but I was wrong:
1988 - Landed a night in jail for smoking pot
1990 - Landed a night in jail for passing out my moms car. I left the car in idle at a red light and put the car in park. Fortunately I didn't get a DUI for this.
1992 - Pass out drunk at co-workers house and he molested me. How do I know this? The sick bastard took pictures and showed me the next morning.
1996 - Landed a night in jail for domestic violence. Wife was nagging at me for not cleaning something before she came home. I had only had a few beers in me, but I was loosened up enough to verbally fight back. Well, things escalated. She threw stuff at me and I broke some of her stuff. She called the cops and I lost that fight. The man usually does.
1998 - I had been sober for over a year, but was invited to a party at my bosses home. I didn't was to feel left out and decided to drink. The only thing I remember was waking up on my bathroom floor naked in my own vomit. Yeah, my wife left me there. I don't blame her at all.
Need I go on?
Fast forward to 2014.....
I've settled down and don't get raging drunk to where I'm hung over anymore. I haven't been hung over for at least 10 years.
I've been a weekend warrior now for a long time. Friday and Saturdays nights of beer drinking for as long as I can remember. In addition to this it always leads to overeating and I'd say I'm a solid 50lbs over weight.
So here I am.
I quit again on Sunday. 4 days sober.
It's very easy for me to not drink during the week, but the weekends are just murder for me. Beer is everywhere and nearly impossible to avoid.
* Eating out at restaurants
* Sports bars
* The gas station
* Drive thru Beer Barns
* The bowling alley
* My home (I have a wonderful collection of steins and beer mugs I've collected over the years.)
***It's everywhere I go!
This is my first to join a forum about my problem and this is also my first time to verbal admit that I'm an alcoholic.
I'm so tired of this. I want to be me again. I want to re-wind to 1986 and just say NO!
I quit.
I'm done.
No more.
Never again.....
Sorry....I'm at work. The tears just welled up in my eyes as I wrote these last few lines.
I quit...again
Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings. I know, this is some pretty heavy stuff for Wednesday afternoon at work.
Thanks,
Sean
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum Sean!! 
Your story has similar aspects to mine, things got increasingly worse, I was holding down my job but the warning lights were flashing that I needed to make some changes with my relationship with alcohol.
You'll find loads of support here on SR, many people who understand how tough it is to completely change a lifestyle when all we see around us is alcohol, but I assure you there is a whole wide world out there that doesn't involve drinking!!
You can do this!! Great to have you onboard!!
Your story has similar aspects to mine, things got increasingly worse, I was holding down my job but the warning lights were flashing that I needed to make some changes with my relationship with alcohol.
You'll find loads of support here on SR, many people who understand how tough it is to completely change a lifestyle when all we see around us is alcohol, but I assure you there is a whole wide world out there that doesn't involve drinking!!
You can do this!! Great to have you onboard!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: IL
Posts: 19
Welcome to SR Sean! You can do it, people here are really helpful, and as someone two days in to sobreiety and being here at SR, I find that posting really helps, it lets it out a bit, and also you will find you are absolutely not alone in this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 18
Thanks for the resource links Soberwolf! I can't message back till after 5 posts. I check those out 
Plansimake, I do feel a bit better after getting some of it out. I just went on break, got some water and walked around the building at work to get some fresh air and a different perspective. Thanks
Plansimake, I do feel a bit better after getting some of it out. I just went on break, got some water and walked around the building at work to get some fresh air and a different perspective. Thanks
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