Has Sobriety Changed Your Sex Life?

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10-29-2014, 05:18 PM

# 21 (permalink)

Ellay

Member

Join Date: Sep 2014

Location: Canada

Posts: 374

I totally agree with the hangover "helper" ! I will say that it is nice waking up now knowing that fiancé and I either did or didn't the night before...nothing says romantic like a blackout

10-29-2014, 05:25 PM

# 22 (permalink)

Eshgham

Member

Join Date: Sep 2014

Posts: 481

My libido went down, and although it comes back in waves overall it's still a bit lower than before. Probably a combination of increased inhibition and physiological changes.

10-29-2014, 05:46 PM

# 23 (permalink)

MissOverIt

Member

Join Date: Sep 2014

Location: Woodburn, OR

Posts: 422

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nowsthetime

MissOT, I was the same way!!! Now my sex life is good , frequency is a little less but spicyness is the same or better. Part of this is because my husband thought that our sex life would be less "spicy" so at the beginning I was out to prove him wrong but then it happened that sex sober is just awesome... I will be married 11 years in December. Also; like PP said, since I am less of a jerky I get along better with hubby, which in turn makes for more intimacy and a better relationship all together.

Love it!

10-29-2014, 05:50 PM

# 24 (permalink)

LBrain

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Join Date: Mar 2014

Location: PA

Posts: 12,000

It comes and goes.

JanieJ. It's practice with...

10-29-2014, 07:14 PM

# 25 (permalink)

matilda123

Member

Join Date: Oct 2014

Posts: 1,327

I am very grateful for this post, because I was just thinking about this. Sex isn't easy for me under any circumstances, partially do to sexual abuse issues. I'm realizing that one of the reasons I drank was so that I could numb during sex (that is sad, huh?) But it was the way that I could make it happen.

I have a fabulous partner and a patient one. I also know that I'm going to have to deal with this issue and figure out how it is okay to feel.

10-29-2014, 07:24 PM

# 26 (permalink)

Grungehead

Grateful

Join Date: May 2013

Location: NC

Posts: 1,763

I felt mentally awkward early in sobriety when it came to sex (and a lot of other things too), but over time this has improved. From a purely physical aspect, sex is much more enjoyable for me sober.

10-29-2014, 08:48 PM

# 27 (permalink)

MesaMan

Member

Join Date: Mar 2014

Location: Colorado

Posts: 3,474

'It's never premature for me' ~ Me

'...nothing says romantic like a blackout'

Now, that is seriously funny!

10-29-2014, 08:54 PM

# 28 (permalink)

courage2

p***enger

Join Date: Nov 2012

Location: NYC

Posts: 19,042

Generally speaking, with almost 9 months sober, I have more energy, more imagination, I'm physically healthier and less depressed -- that all makes for better communications & relations with my partner, which makes for better sex.

10-29-2014, 08:58 PM

# 29 (permalink)

razor15

Thankful for this community

Join Date: Jun 2014

Location: Ontario

Posts: 371

The whips and chains don't come out as much.

10-29-2014, 10:21 PM

# 30 (permalink)

Briar

02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII

Join Date: Mar 2013

Location: California

Posts: 2,802

I hid from my husband so he wouldn't notice how loaded I was. Hopefully with some sober time that part of our relationship will come back.

10-29-2014, 10:32 PM

# 31 (permalink)

DoubleFelix

Member

Join Date: Jul 2014

Location: Philadelphia, USA

Posts: 245

I had struggles in the past with physical and emotional intimacy, that I used alcohol to "get through" but not work through. That being the case, drinking led me into a few situations that I'm sure I wouldn't have consented had I been sober - (and did I even really "consent" to them, being drunk? There's a whole 'nother topic...)

So for me, sobriety has improved my sex life. It's giving me the skills and abilities to assert my needs, desires, and boundaries. Thankfully I now have a wonderful partner who totally supports me, unlike the toxic people I use to spend my time with when I was drinking.