Upset by something I overheard
Upset by something I overheard
Last week I was leaving an appointment with my therapist who works in the chemical dependency department of a medical building. On my way out of the department, I passed by a group of therapists in the hall and overheard one of them laughing about something and saying “that’s what the addicts say!”
This made me angry. I realize that’s what we are, but it’s a nasty word to just throw around, and it’s no laughing matter to the addict who’s walking by worried about the prospect of an early death. It was like walking by a group of psychiatrists and hearing one laugh about “those crazy people.”
I’m probably being too sensitive, but it hit a raw nerve and has gnawed at me ever since. I didn’t choose to be an addict. I’m ashamed, I’m scared. It isn’t funny. And sure, if you work with heavy stuff day in and day out, you get desensitized and make light of it to blow off some steam. I get it, I work in criminal justice, we do the same thing.
But we don’t do it out in the hall in front of the struggling people we’re here to help. If we did, I would expect our clientele to lose some of their faith and trust in us. Which is exactly what happened to me.
Okay, vent over. Thanks for listening.
This made me angry. I realize that’s what we are, but it’s a nasty word to just throw around, and it’s no laughing matter to the addict who’s walking by worried about the prospect of an early death. It was like walking by a group of psychiatrists and hearing one laugh about “those crazy people.”
I’m probably being too sensitive, but it hit a raw nerve and has gnawed at me ever since. I didn’t choose to be an addict. I’m ashamed, I’m scared. It isn’t funny. And sure, if you work with heavy stuff day in and day out, you get desensitized and make light of it to blow off some steam. I get it, I work in criminal justice, we do the same thing.
But we don’t do it out in the hall in front of the struggling people we’re here to help. If we did, I would expect our clientele to lose some of their faith and trust in us. Which is exactly what happened to me.
Okay, vent over. Thanks for listening.
I agree, it is very unprofessional. There is no excuse for bad behavior.
Just know something I immediately thought about you. One is that your feelings come shining through, and that is a great thing. To be in touch with how you feel sometimes causes anger, and it is absolutely correct to feel angry about that.
Two, that you are brave. Here you are admitting that you are scared and ashamed. But....here you are, seeing a therapist, doing something about it! Good for you! No matter what your issue is, and every single person has issues, to be willing to address them and admit them so readily is huge. Some people go their entire lives not being able to just do those two things.
So while I am so sorry you had that experience, and it hurts, know that you are doing some very right things in the right direction, and no one can take that away from you.
Have a blessed day!
Just know something I immediately thought about you. One is that your feelings come shining through, and that is a great thing. To be in touch with how you feel sometimes causes anger, and it is absolutely correct to feel angry about that.
Two, that you are brave. Here you are admitting that you are scared and ashamed. But....here you are, seeing a therapist, doing something about it! Good for you! No matter what your issue is, and every single person has issues, to be willing to address them and admit them so readily is huge. Some people go their entire lives not being able to just do those two things.
So while I am so sorry you had that experience, and it hurts, know that you are doing some very right things in the right direction, and no one can take that away from you.
Have a blessed day!
I agree, it is very unprofessional. There is no excuse for bad behavior.
Just know something I immediately though about you. One is that your feelings come shining through, and that is a great thing. To be in touch with how you feel sometimes causes anger, and it is absolutely correct to feel angry about that.
Two, that you are brave. Here you are admitting that you are scared and ashamed. But....here you are, seeing a therapist, doing something about it! Good for you! No matter what your issue is, and every single person has issues, to be willing to address them and admit them so readily is huge. Some people go their entire lives not being able to just do those two things.
So while I am so sorry you had that experience, and it hurts, know that you are doing some very right things in the right direction, and no one can take that away from you.
Have a blessed day!
Just know something I immediately though about you. One is that your feelings come shining through, and that is a great thing. To be in touch with how you feel sometimes causes anger, and it is absolutely correct to feel angry about that.
Two, that you are brave. Here you are admitting that you are scared and ashamed. But....here you are, seeing a therapist, doing something about it! Good for you! No matter what your issue is, and every single person has issues, to be willing to address them and admit them so readily is huge. Some people go their entire lives not being able to just do those two things.
So while I am so sorry you had that experience, and it hurts, know that you are doing some very right things in the right direction, and no one can take that away from you.
Have a blessed day!
Hopeful, you are very well named. THIS is an awesome post!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
I'm sorry for your upset. It was definitely unprofessional.
I've been carting around a book called "Addiction and Grace" for months. I keep it in my truck and refer to it often. The author, May I believe pretty much believes we are ALL "addicts" of one form or another. We can become obsessively attached to just about anything. Obviously some attachments are for more serious and lethal than others...
But we all make mistakes...we all say unthinking things. I think those in caring professions probably need to blow off steam more than others. If we want grace extended to ourselves..I suppose we must extend it to others...like people who make thoughtless, jerky comments.
Nevertheless...that shouldn't negate your feelings on it.
It was a callous, unprofessional comment. No doubt.
I've been carting around a book called "Addiction and Grace" for months. I keep it in my truck and refer to it often. The author, May I believe pretty much believes we are ALL "addicts" of one form or another. We can become obsessively attached to just about anything. Obviously some attachments are for more serious and lethal than others...
But we all make mistakes...we all say unthinking things. I think those in caring professions probably need to blow off steam more than others. If we want grace extended to ourselves..I suppose we must extend it to others...like people who make thoughtless, jerky comments.
Nevertheless...that shouldn't negate your feelings on it.
It was a callous, unprofessional comment. No doubt.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
I wouldn't worry about it too much. The fact is that you only heard a very small part of a conversation. Who knows what the rest of the conversation was like. I would suggest trying to avoid spinning up an entire story and assuming they were making fun of you or addicts in general.
In other words: Don't take it personal!
In other words: Don't take it personal!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I work in a level One Trauma Center in Education for medical students, this is a US medical school with strict rules, my department is especially very conservative.
NO ONE is to discuss patients or other physicians in a public setting, (or your personal life within patient earshot). if anyone hears students discuss this type of thing or even another doctor, student, it is usually reported back to me and the particular student is reminded....in writing...we call it a Professionalism Form and it is a permanent record. American medical schools do not tolerate this at all.
Please discuss this with your own doc at your next session. it's not a matter of being sensitive, it's a point of being a Medical Professional and respecting patient privacy, pubic discussion does not belong in a clinical setting.
NO ONE is to discuss patients or other physicians in a public setting, (or your personal life within patient earshot). if anyone hears students discuss this type of thing or even another doctor, student, it is usually reported back to me and the particular student is reminded....in writing...we call it a Professionalism Form and it is a permanent record. American medical schools do not tolerate this at all.
Please discuss this with your own doc at your next session. it's not a matter of being sensitive, it's a point of being a Medical Professional and respecting patient privacy, pubic discussion does not belong in a clinical setting.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Missing piece of information is what do the addicts say about what??
*shrug *
With out that information it's hard to say if they are laughing with us or at us.
Perhaps they weren't laughing at us?
*shrug *
With out that information it's hard to say if they are laughing with us or at us.
Perhaps they weren't laughing at us?
I agree that you should tell your therapist so that s/he can bring it up at the next department meeting... as you note, you understand the letting off of steam/dark humor based on your own profession, so it sounds like you were able to roll with it a bit even while it upset you. But if someone had been walking by who didn't have that context, they might leave the building and never come back.
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