I'm having trouble getting back up...
 

I made it to day 16, but then Sunday I just threw it away and I thought I could get right back on track but Monday & Tuesday I had wine, too much that I'm waking up feeling bad and missing my workouts and then by the time im feeling better, around 3:00p I forget how I felt in the am and think to myself why don't I leave work a bit early and go home and have a glass of wine. I felt so good the last two weeks, with high motivation, feeling like I am being the Dad I want to be and now I am three days away from that and I can't seem to get back. I'm weak and embarrassed that my willpower and discipline that had been getting stronger is practically nonexistent after 3:00p - I'm a big talker in the am, "not going to have any tonight" but then it just goes away. I read many of the threads and am disgusted with myself that there are so many strong people with circumstances that are truly difficult and I have it EASY, I should be able to just not drink. I'm going to try to return here today after 3:00p and just make a commitment to at least post something, anything until I get home and the desire to drink goes away. Thanks for listening, I just needed to verbalized my disappointment, maybe it will help my resolve to get back on track.:headbange

Sorry to read that you are struggling. Part of the issue might be that you don't understand your problem. Addiction and willpower are mutually incompatable.

Addiction has a solution. You might be applying it incorrectly.

This is why relapses are so serious. The undermine the work we've done and make it extremely difficult to get back on track because our addiction has used the relapse to get its hooks back in us.

But you got to 16 days. You can get there again. But only by recommitting to not drinking and finding the support you need to meet that committment.

First off: 16 days. That proves you CAN do this.:c011:

Second: Throw that word *try* out the window. Commit to coming here at 3:00p and posting. Make it something you NEED to do if it helps you.

Third: Good job posting. And i wish you well. Post like crazy on SR.

All you can do is pick yourself up Magellan and commit to getting sober for today.

I have had to get out of the house to keep myself on track. If I have a craving, I try to distract myself by any means possible.

Yeah, there is definitely no room for that first glass.

Well done coming back here so quickly! Many don't make it back. We've all fought this same battle, so it can be done. You already know what to do, just keep it going one day at a time. Nothing good comes from alcohol. Seriously, try to name one thing. :wink3:

Hi Magellan, I did exactly the same thing as you: I made it to 16 days, threw it away for a few glasses of wine, didn't drink the next day, but I haven't been able to string more than a few days together since. And to be honest, this week I haven't even tried. I haven't had any hangovers or negative consequences per se, but the hope I was feeling about sobriety is quickly evaporating as I succumb every evening (and sometimes earlier). I have no doubt I will be back to square one in no time if I continue.

Sorry to make this all about me, but the bottom line is that I can relate completely to what you're going through. This sucks.

Ok let's look at it a different way. If you were newly diagnosed diabetic - that would really stink wouldn't it. You'd probably get angry, depressed, have mood swings for a while over the 'injustice' of it all, but you'd get through it - you would have to.

Alcohol, is no less serious - we just 'fool' ourselves into thinking we can 'get away with it;, but in reality it's killing us, just as much as a sugary cake could be the final 'chance' for a diabetic.

Keep trying Magellan

try this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

Magellan,

Consider working with someone to develop a plan for when cravings kick in - something to DO rather than just sit there and mull it over in your head. Cravings just happen - if they didn't addiction would be a whole lot easier to live with!

So, since cravings always start with a thought, whenever you have the slightest inkling of a drink (or find yourself particularly irritable, tired or otherwise upset) put your plan into action. You might consider reaching out for help developing a plan - either via a therapist, support group or both. The problem with going it alone is that once you start down that path of "one or two won't hurt" the addicted part of your brain is talking pretty loud, and that's why it's so convincing.

Carl hit it on the head - this has nothing to do with willpower - willpower doesn't work as you have just experienced. If it did, then all of us would never have another drink once we made that first decision. Hang in there and consider finding a plan that is compatible for you.

I completely understand where your coming from and no, you are not weak. Put that out of your head. You are an addict, in that your addiction to alcohol is overiding your ambition and common sense to be sober.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. Here a tip, thats working for me today.
((( PLEASE ONLY DO THIS IF YOU HAVE NO HEALTH ISSUES LIKE DIABETES - CONSULT A DOCTOR IF IN DOUBT))

You need water, sugar, herbal tea, lemonade and apple cider vinegar.

At 3pm, drink as much water around 2 litres as you can in an hour. Now this may seem easy, its not because your trying to put a large volume of water into your body. You see like me you could be dehydrated (smelling yellow/green/brown pee), thats dehydration, you could be mistaking the need for fluids with the need for alcohol. 2 Litres of water should be enough to hydrate you.

After an hour has passed, drink another litre of water with 6 teaspoons of sugar. Alcohol has lots of sugar and some people are addicted to sugar rather than alcohol, this way you take away the sugar addiction, this can be cut down later and is far less harmful unless your a diabetic than alcohol.

Next have 3 cups of herbal tea, Jasmine Green Tea, is a good choice.

Take a vitamin B supplement there is evidence this can reduce cravings.

Drink 2-3 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar, it melts away cravings fast.

Repeat the above steps as neccesary and post often on Sober Recovery.

Cravings, what craving. Before you know where you are, you will be ready for bed and have a blissful drink free night, with no regrets, hangovers and you will be satisfied, rather than trying to whiteknuckle it through on willpower alone, thats very difficult indeed.

Good Luck

I just wanted to say, drinking straight vinegar is not that good for you, it's too acidic. Mix it with a full glass of water.

A glass of juice works just as well. Or an apple. Or ice cream. Or toast. There is no reason to have a rigid schedule. Just eat well balanced meals and drink a lot of water. A piece of candy here and there is good, too :)

Apple cider vinegar is very mild, its not like table vinegar, but you have to go with what works.

The kind of person I am, is I am very methodical and I like rituals.

I think actually I will write a blog on my bizzar drinking rituals, just for kicks and giggles.

Carl & Climber, I guess I'm struggling with the addiction/willpower thing. In the past if I want to do something I just set my mind to it and accomplish whatever task it is, there are sometimes I fail but I just get up again and eventually I find success. I guess this is why this is frustrating, I stumble and then don't get back on track. I will get through today (thank you Findingtheway...I've thrown out the word "try") and will have to figure out a plan that works, it is difficult (sounds stupid to say, obvious statement) when you are in a big family and everyone drinks, some more than others. I'm going to read more on the "urge surfing" that Soberwolf sent. Thanks all! Be back at 3:00pm.

Josharon, thanks for your post, this is exactly why I'm scared. It is so easy to fall right back into the old way and after 2+ weeks and feeling great I don't want to lose that. I came to SR about 4 weeks ago and have really just be reading (I started to blog my progress also) but now I need to step it up and post more and get/give feedback I hoping it helps so I can get many more days sober.

See you at 3:00, Magellan!!!!!

You can do this mate.

Aloneatlast, I will try this (okay maybe a slightly modified version) I do have my bottle of Braggs Apple Cider vinegar in my office, supposedly it helps with joint pain. I do try to stay hydrated and I had a water cooler installed in my office.

Biminiblue, thanks and you are right absolutely nothing good comes from alcohol!!!

Magellan - anytime from the afternoon until I'm safe in my house is a scary time for me at first. Let's both come to SR today at 3 and keep each honest!

You aren't weak. I think many of us have been there. I know I have. Great intentions in the morning and by the afternoon it's out the window. I think the suggestion to drink water is great. Too often I confused the dehydration and hunger for urges for alcohol. Taking care to avoid both is helpful to me. If I am thirsty and hungry eating an apple works really well. Provides hydration and sweet for the craving. Keep on!