zelt

I'm just wondering, if you guys want to talk about it that is. Is what was is that made you stop drinking? Like the final straw, what was it that your mind finally said 'never again'?

Chiffon

I got tired of having to waste 5-7 days, going through withdrawals, to be honest.

Soberwolf

I thought it was the time i had my head in a bucket filled with my own blood but it wasnt

i just gave up i cant really explain i just gave up i still dont know how as i was really trying in a 3 month peroid it just happened

i remember seeing 3 ducks on my lawn and thinking why the f is there 3 ducks on my lawn (inner city) it was 5 am and the next 3 days were intense i went cold turkey i dont remember all of it but i remember enough to know that i thought i was in limbo it was horrible

but yes one day somehow i just gave up

goose333

My wife asked me if I had been drinking one day. I had. A lot. I just opened up and told her everything. I knew I had a problem, had tried to stop before but couldn't. It's because of her that I am on this new road. No other reason. I owe her everything. She saved my life.

afloatsober

I just stopped drinking. My days had just become waiting for my bottle of vodka to be delivered. Sitting on my bed drinking it after gagging the first few. Staring at the TV and then waiting in agitation for the next bottle to arrive.
Couldn't walk, eat or sleep other than periods unconscious.
Then my partner delivered the LAST bottle and said no more was coming.
Tapered off on a litre of vodka.
Just wanted to die after my last sip.
Came round a couple of hours later and thought 'it's over now, come what may I never have to drink again'.
I had simply had enough of the pain and degradation.
I have not wanted or needed an alcoholic drink since that day.
In short, I had completely accepted that alcohol had beaten me and that I would NEVER win another round.
G

Stewy84

The ball started rolling last new year when myself and a friend decided to bring the new year in playing Xbox and drinking beers at my mum and dads house ( where I was living at the time)

We decided to go over to the local pub at around 11pm for the last hour of 2013. We'd had maybe 10 cans each at that point.Whilst walking there I looked down at myself, I had stains on my top and jeans from food I'd eaten, hadn't even bothered to comb my hair looked a mess. I would normally ensure I was looking tip top when going out but I'd just totally gone into don't give a **** mode.

It was when I woke up the next day I thought, this has to stop ( wind almost 11 months on and the wheels are now in motion )

MythOfSisyphus

For me it was the inevitable endpoint of a process that began years ago. I kind of watched my life, detached, almost as if it was someone else. Intellectually I knew no one should be drinking as much as I was drinking, and certainly it's not something one would expect to survive. Ultimately it wasn't one horrible event so much as the straw that broke the camel's back. It wasn't fun anymore and hadn't been for some time. My ex flatly called me an alcoholic as if it was as plain as the nose on her face (and she is probably an alcoholic, too). Life was one long hangover punctuated by periods of drunkenness.

For some reason I just began doing internet searches for detox, rehab, treatment, etc. I wasn't optimistic about the prospect of doing an inpatient thing (thought I had too much to lose at that time). Luckily I found this place and AVRT while I was investigating Antabuse. The chances are good that if I hadn't I would either be dead by now or a lot worse off than I am now. Already a couple years ago the hangovers were getting worse and I was having pains, slow healing, brain fog, etc. Just deep down to the bone aching. And at the risk of sounding melodramatic I just felt the shadow of death dogging my steps. I had a pretty good idea how things would play out if I didn't stop, and a rough guestimate of how long it might take.

If the definition of insanity is repeating the same actions over and over again while expecting different results then my life had become insane. Ultimately I decided to alter the course that my life was going to take, no matter what happened.

aloneatlast

I stopped, I just couldn't drink one more drink. I would drink to feel relaxed, I would tell myself. My reward for the end of a day. But that wasn't the truth.

I drank to punish myself for not being the person, I wanted to be. I used it as an excuse and any excuse to drink was a good one for me. The problem came, when it would require more and more alcohol to get drunk, so much that I would often not get drunk, but would still suffer the after effects. Now thats f--k-d up my Brothers and Sisters.

I just couldn't do it anymore. I haven't stopped drinking !!! (I say now, I haven't started drinking again). I have turned a negative into a positive.

When you become so depressed you would rather die that carry on, you do need much of an excuse to stop.

Changel

I began to have major panic attacks. I had never had them before, and hopefully now that I am sober, I will never have them again.

Marcher13

I was becoming an unhealthy self-absorbed pathetic middle aged woman so I decided to put a stop to it. I've been living a healthy full outward looking life for almost 20 months now.

aloneatlast

Great Post !!!

JanieJ

What Marcher said ! And my beautiful grandkids- did not want them to have a horrible smelly old lush as a granny, or worse, a dead one.

IBS, panic attacks, depression, and broke all the time.

Just thought it was time to grown up, basically. A lot of my life has passed me by already, perhaps I can salvage what's left.

But it wasn't a big event that did it -I just woke up one morning and thought, actually, I don't really want to drink any more. It's time now. It was all quite subdued and low key.

Just filled with gratitude that I have reached a point where I can see things a bit more clearly.

dcrr

For me, it was a straw that broke the camels back. I had made an ass of myself one too many times. The best way I can make it up to those around me and save myself at the same time is to stop drinking. I am also lucky I have a supportive wife who has put up with my relapses. My mind is set - I will never go back to that lifestyle!

RevivingOphelia

The hellish hangovers with massive anxiety the next day, increased tolerance and cravings, altered appearance and declining health.

chickippo

the last withdrawal that nearly killed me finally stopped me.

i went into AA last October - the relapses that came after short periods of sobriety became worse and worse. i woke up in the middle of the night in the middle of a bender and i was vomiting. didn't stop me.

it took more drinking to finally underline that i was gambling with my life. my LIFE. not a game any more.

my last withdrawal was horrendous. vomiting blood and bile, unable to keep anything in my stomach. shivering and sweating, unable to be in my room without the lights on as in the darkness the shapes and shadows were terrifying. auditory hallucinations of someone banging my front door, people whispering in the next room....i remember getting out of bed and trying to make it to the kitchen for water. i just collapsed. my heart was beating out of my chest and i was sure i had finally done it. slow suicide by alcohol was finally going to work.

when i think about drinking now, it scares me and disgusts me. if i pick a drink up i have to acknowledge that it's a deliberate act of suicide. there is no other ending for me.

sorry - that went on a bit!

Mark1014

I have the same back story as many, I had been walking the edge of the blade so long. There was nothing particularly different about my final dive into sobriety.....I had tried so so SO many times before. The scales, however,finally tipped, and I don't know why. That's why one must never give up trying again if they have stumbled. Each effort counts and some way, some how, the switch (it seems) has finally flipped. For any that may read this thread wondering if it is worth the effort to try again at 'day one' the answer is YES!

Cascabel

I just got tired of the whole shebang: I got tired of worrying whether I had enough wine in the house for the evening's drinking; I got tired of waking up fuzzy-headed and sick; I got tired of counting the minutes until drinking time arrived and, overall, I just got sick of having my life ruled by alcohol.

I decided that I didn't want to be another old man spending his remaining years in an alcohol daze and whiling away the afternoons watching crap TV. When I quit, I freed myself from all that. It doesn't mean I don't have problems; I still struggle not to drink. But, at least now, I'm running the show instead of ethanol.

Fly N Buy

SW - you should so be SoberDuck!

My tipping point was actually gradual. No real event such as cops, loss of my businesses etc.... YET
I came to understand, in my drunken haze that the reflection of my despair I witnessed in loved ones eyes daily simply was intolerable. I had enough........

By grace, daily I post - reflect and as PK states - keep pushing through!

Dad's back!

peace

FeelingGreat

Lots of build-up, knowing it was bad for me etc but the final thing was that my DIL was trying to give up smoking, and I wasn't very sympathetic, thinking she should just do it.

Then I realised I was a hypocrite if I couldn't give up drinking.

She went back to smoking, I carried on. She finally gave up 2 years later after reading Alan Carr's book.

plansimake

From my last bender, I remember and don't remember sitting and saying to myself "i'm blacked out, i'm blacked out" for a few minutes, then everything, including me, felt like it ceased to be. When drinking, i would invariably black out at some point, moreso towards the end of my twenty years of going at it hard, but to feel that void in me when i woke up... chilling... also my life is fairly wrecked at the moment from drinking (legally, emotionally) so it was just time to be DONE and no lying to myself this time.