mavrick

Ive been lurking around embarrassed here for a bit. As the post says Ive fallen off the wagon in spectacular style and been on a drinking bender for a month. I just cant seem to end it. Its so frustrating every time I quit for any period of time gets harder and harder. I feel like a total failure I really want a sober life back but cant get over the first hurdle.

Dee74

Hi Mavrick

Sometimes it's as easy/hard as a day 1. Sometimes I had to make a bargain I wouldn't leave my house, y'know?

It's not pleasant, but you're not alone here.

If you're worried about withdrawal tho, maybe it's best to see a Dr?

D

IOAA2

Hi.
This may be a good remember when period for you. Such times are strong hints that I could not drink in safety and my life is unmanageable when I pick up that first drink.
I and most alcoholics need to get honest with themselves about our drinking and accept that we can’t drink in safety like non alcoholics can. Once I had the first drink I wanted more and more, until I blacked out. Not much fun involved in that.
Staying sober involves more than not drinking and takes time and changes which scare many but the results are great.

BE WELL

Soberwolf

Hi Maverick all you can do is try

have you got a recovery programme in place ?

Maverick i remember you really helping someone you can do this friend

if you ever want to talk send me a pm if you want

LadyinBC

First off you are not a failure. You are here posting and reaching out.

Never, ever be embarrassed to post here, there is no judgement here.

I was a binge drinker also, I definitely got worse as time went on. I second Dee's advice on maybe seeing a doctor.

mavrick

The most annoying and embarrassing thing is that I have been through a 12 step program. And im still a serial relapser people around me who know about my alcoholism are fed up with me saying this time is the last.
Im struggling with the obsession atm my head is saying "you have blown it anyway you might as well just carry on"

Soberwolf

No Maverick there is always time you can do this keep posting send pm's to ppl who can help talk and guide you back to sobriety

The point is you want to stop

do what you must to stay sober start writing a new plan itl be rough but we are here with you

IOAA2

Hi. Can you explain what that means as after many years sober I’m not considered “through” by myself or others. Staying sober is an every day work period doing healthy mental and emotional things. It would be nice to get sober for a few weeks then forget the processes necessary to stay sober. Unfortunately too many do that and end up miserable.

BE WELL

PINEAPPLEEXPRES

I've been on a month long bender too, time to turn the corner, lets do it!!!

aasharon90

No one can ever take away the knowledge
you've learned and acquired with the steps
you've already done. Now its time to apply
what you've learned in your every day life.

There were many many suggestions folks
passed on to me to follow and I did use them.
If those suggestions have kept them sober
for a many one days at a time to get them
where they are today, then they must work.

If someone suggested to me to remove all
alcohol in my home and avoid people, place
and things associated with alcohol, then I
did it without questioning it.

I may not like it at first, but I did it anyway
till I wanted to do it and just because I have
to. Putting what we learn into action is the
key.

LISTEN.....LEARN.....ABSORB.....APPLY

foolsgold66

Only one way to stop lying to yourself. You need a plan, of some sort. Not a program, a plan. And it can't be this same plan. That one has proven a failure.

mavrick

What do you mean by a plan?

Chiffon

I'm agreeing with Dee on this one - perhaps a doctor might be a good idea - that's one hell of a bender. Please don't take any more chances - we're all here for you.

mavrick

I just feel broken, my brain is like a washing machine. The noise is unbearable, I have tapered off a little over the past week.
I feel like ive got a cassette in my head stuck on repeat. I feel itchy all over.

Soberwolf

Maverick ive seen you sober i have every faith in you

dont let the alcohol own you like this its not helping your in pain and everything else because of it

you wont feel like this sober & it doesnt matter if you have already drunk theres always time

the fight is far from over im sure you have more sober fuel in the tank use it

its endless fuel sobriety is and eco friendly lol

here for you whenever you need ive sent some very useful links

least

I suggest seeing a doctor for medical help in getting thru withdrawal. Sometimes meds can be given to ease the anxiety and w/d symptoms. You can do this, just get a little help.

mavrick

I can't go to my doctors for help because the last time I was getting assessed for treatment one of tbe doctors wanted to take my driving licence off me. When im sober I need my licence in my line of work.
Thankfully last time I passed a series of blood tests whilst getting sober so he let me keep my licence but warned if I slip again they will take it away. That is why im reluctant to seek medical help. Ive never drove whilst drinking or been disqualified from driving so I think the doctor was wrong for making such a threat.

Chiffon

Mavrick - can't you go to A and E? They're more discreet.

mavrick

They've wrote to my doctors in the past.

24hrsAday

that first step IS a Hard one. don't be too hard on yourself. it took me almost to the age of 42 to Finally stop. (and even NOW) it's still a One Day at a Time thing for me.