High Risk Situation 1: Goal achieved - I deserve a reward
 

As part of my recovery, I’ve been looking at possible “high risk situations”. By anticipating and thinking about what happened in the past, I hope to manage them better in the future and avoid a relapse.

So here’s one I’ve spotted. After achieving a decent stretch of sobriety in the past I feel I’ve done enough to control the problems and can celebrate with a drink. The same goes for smoking.

On the smoking front, I’ve got through the whole of October without a fag but I’ve now finished the programme of daily support offered by the British National Health Service. I’ve had problems with relapsing on cigarettes in the past at this stage.

And for drinking, I’ve done nine weeks now. The longest I’ve ever done is three months. Some part of me feels if I get my three month chip, my 90 in 90 or whatever, I’ll have “served my time” and can go and drink again.

I know these things aren’t logical and look a bit pathetic written down, but this has been part of the reason I’ve relapsed in the past.

Would you guys like to help me with suggestions on how to avoid relapse on this particular point over the next few weeks?

Sounds like you know the score well. Remind yourself when you start getting those 90-day urges. You cannot reward yourself with a drink or a smoke. "You Won't Be Fooled Again."

Use whatever resistance tricks have kept you sober for this long to keep you sober now and for the days to come.

Rewarding sobriety with a drink is like rewarding cleaning with dirt.

Love it

Mentioning the chips and 90in 90 leads me to believe yu are referring to AA.if so, to help avoid one of them relapses I would suggest going to meetings, getting a sponsor, and working the steps. Worked pretty good for me.
And not picking up the next drink,too.

Hi.
You’re correct that you can drink again. I can also do that after +35 years of not drinking but choose not to one day at a time—continually. Your thinking is quite common for alcoholics and very often leads to horrid results even with the best intentions.
In the beginning I needed to think constantly about NOT drinking and substitute drinking thoughts with anything else. It worked along with many meetings and becoming very active in the program.

BE WELL

Try setting some different goals, perhaps. I personally cannot think that way anymore about sobriety. If you need a goal, use 100 years.

Once (or ideally before) a short term goal is acheived- immediately set another. And, always have a long term goal in mind.

Consider thinking about reaching three months because it is halfway to your six month goal-- which in turn will become halfway to a one year goal.

Focusing on the "journey" rather than a specefic "destination" may help prevent from a let down which may accompany acheiving a significant milestone.

Personally, I found the 90 Dayish mark hard as I'd slipped/ relapsed around that time previously. So I can relate to that feeling of being "jinxed" or something.

I stopped counting days and focused on my program daily, what was my new routine, keeping a journal, learning different recovery methods....just immersed myself in learning about recovery and it's tools, rather than just counting days.

It's so much more than counting days now - for me, anyway.

Sounds like you're taking things wisely. If you've had issues after quitting either booze or cigarettes, I would consider just quitting them permanently. If I got through 90 days, I would try adding another month if it didn't seem overwhelming.

Thanks for all this helpful advice.

I think what I am taking from it here is that I could set my next "goal" to be something unrelated to quitting cigarettes and alcohol and work towards that, while maintaining a nice recovery programme and taking the benefits that come with it.

I can think of several positive things I could do which would benefit me and other people so that's the best way to keep motivated.

It's great to have SR wisdom as support! So glad this time I had a go at identifying the risky situation before I faced it, rather than afterwards.

What else can you do for yourself that you enjoy that you can reward yourself with?

I would say to replace the mindset of drinking as a reward with something else, as everyone needs to reward themselves sometimes!!!

I think it's great you are thinking about this!