sectownkid

i got out of detox. i swallowed all the benzos they gave me to ease the withdrawal in one gulp, went to a bar and got a beer. just one i said. my girlfriend was astonished that i could do this, the one person who has put up with this for years and loved me through it all, had faith in me, is now gone.

i left her that night in boston to go get drunk. on our last night together, i left the woman who has been there for me supporting me through it all, i left her at the boston station to go to the bars and get drunk. i ended up in the hospital again, and ran out of the ER to the terminal and I couldnt find her. I found her after hours of frantically searching boarding a train, only with seconds to say goodbye. I cried more than I have ever cried before. shes gone. and as it is right now it looks like shes gone for good.. all because of a ******* drink.

enough self pity talk though, I did this to myself, this pain is self inflicted, and it all started with one beer. I had another chance to change my life and I blew it. if anything this post does I hope anyone who is in a similar spot like me, thinking about that first drink, dont ******* do it bro, please.

praying for all of you

Hevyn

Why leave sectownkid? I wasn't sober when I first joined SR. I came here for strength and encouragement, and I found it. 7 years later I'm still here and still sober. It took me awhile to be ready - but the people here got me on my feet and I made it out of hell. You can too. I'm sorry for what you've been through, but here's where it can end.

Mirage74

Sorry this happened sectownkid. And thanks for the post. It's a stark reminder of the power alcohol has over an alcoholic. I can relate to continuing to drink, even when everything is saying to quit.

Seems like you have two options. Continue to drink your misery away or clean up. If you ever want her to come back, the latter is your only option. Alcohol really is cunning, baffling, powerful. As soon as I forget that, I'm that much closer to a drink. Good luck

least

Mirage is right. You have two options: keep drinking until you die, or clean up your act and make a good life for yourself. I hope you choose to clean up.

SoberLeigh

I hope you stick around SR, sectownkid; keep SR in your toolbox.

silentrun

Don't let it get you all alone. You stand a much better chance here with people that understand.

Nonsensical

You don't have to get your **** together to come here. You come here to get your **** together. There's help here. Don't turn your back on it.

You can do this.

Rachinator

This is a good place for support. No one here judges. Make a plan for yourself. A goal, the steps to make that goal, and execute. Get through the first 24 hours sober. Then do it again the next day. That is a good way to get yourself in order. We are pulling for you

sectownkid

thanks yall. just hit bottom again hard and felt like an idiot coming back here with my sob stories, time to get real this time and man the **** up. damn day 1 was hard but i didnt drink. i think i might stick around

Dee74

I'm glad you reconsidered - congrats on day 1 man

D

MelindaFlowers

It's time to start fighting for yourself. I hope you stick around. This site saved me a few months ago. I thought I was hopeless, didn't think I'd ever stop drinking. It's much harder to justify the drinking when you check in here every day and relate to others. I'm rooting for you!

Chiffon

Leaving until you get your **** together, is like someone saying, they wont go to weightwatchers, until they've lost the weight. Or, they won't let the cleaner in, until they've cleaned the house.

Here is where you'll find the support - please stay

LadyinBC

Don't ever feel that you can't post here because you hit a bottom. We have all been there and that is why this site is here. To help people thru the good times along with the bad times.

This site is to help people no matter where you are in recovery. As someone has said we don't shoot our wounded.

MythOfSisyphus

Stay, man! Getting your sh!t together and keeping that way is what SR if for! It ain't any easier out there on your own.

Stick around! You'll be glad you did.

steffie

Thanks for that post sectownkid. It is a great reminder that probably for the vast majority of us alcoholics, moderation is totally not possible, and thinking we can have one is a big mistake that never turns out well.

Soberwolf

You can do this

heath480

Please stay around sectownkid.

It was always the first drink that got me into trouble.

Your post tells me it never gets better,only worse.

You need never drink again.

PurpleKnight

I needed all the tools I could get to make Sobriety happen.

No harm in having another in the toolbox in th form of SR!!

biminiblue

You never have to feel that hopeless again.

I'm glad you decided to stay here where people understand.

Hevyn

Hope it's going ok today Sectown. Never forget, you're among friends.