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-   -   Met a girl who thinks it's very attractive I don't drink (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/348955-met-girl-who-thinks-its-very-attractive-i-dont-drink.html)

Thomasthetank 10-27-2014 05:48 AM

Met a girl who thinks it's very attractive I don't drink
 
So I was half set up by friends when meeting up at a coffee place to talk to this girl, who was lovely. We were talking and I mentioned I'd be heading home when they went to the bar, as I didn't drink. She said that was basically the coolest thing she'd ever heard, and tons of girls would love a guy with the strength of character to march to the beat of their own drum, so to speak.

This was really good for my confidence, I have worried about future romantic possibilities being undermined by sobriety.

Oh and nothing else happened, by the way, she said she's "not really into" music. What would we talk about? Haha

Tom.

BrighterDayz 10-27-2014 05:49 AM

Very encouraging!

Stewy84 10-27-2014 05:50 AM

Good work!!

Nowsthetime 10-27-2014 05:54 AM

I agree with her!!! 100%!!! I feel the same way about my sobriety non-conformist and cool. Plus, alcohol always makes us look worse, bloated, messy and stinky. Yuck! Love it Thomas, let's go on with our hot sober selves :)!!!

least 10-27-2014 06:01 AM

She sounds like a smart lady. :)

LBrain 10-27-2014 06:07 AM

Maybe she's into trains?

Nonsensical 10-27-2014 06:13 AM

Just a hunch, but I suspect there are plenty of women who agree and predict you'll have greater success meeting women with such inclinations when you're not in a bar. :)

Thomasthetank 10-27-2014 06:14 AM


Originally Posted by LBrain (Post 4978558)
Maybe she's into trains?

Haha maybe

To be honest I'm not hugely interested in getting into a relationship right now. I haven't really gotten to know myself sober yet, never mind anybody else. It was more that it's good to know that people do exist who aren't just interested in going to the pub.

Fishcakes4 10-27-2014 06:18 AM

That's awesome TTT!!

GotGrace 10-27-2014 07:20 AM

I am sure she is not as rare as we might think. Nice feather in your cap, if nothing else!

Soberwolf 10-27-2014 07:27 AM

I can imagine that comment really bolstered your sobriety

Thomas ask her would she like to go bowling to the cinema etc as a friend nothing more

You have really made my day i love your posts

well done my friend

GhostFace 10-27-2014 07:29 AM

Good to hear, I always wonder what it would be like to date on sobriety or meet someone who does not drink

Lola23 10-27-2014 07:45 AM

Well I'm a women and would LOVE to meet a man who doesn't drink! ;)

Lusher 10-27-2014 07:51 AM


I mentioned I'd be heading home when they went to the bar, as I didn't drink.
Way to stay strong!

As I guy myself, I'm guessing this might not have been the easiest decision to make, but you made it anyhow.

Nice job!

desypete 10-27-2014 07:58 AM

i well remember going online on a mission to find myself a girlfriend, it became a bit of an obession for me so be warned as to me it seemed like a good idea at the time, lol

anyway i joined lots of free dating sites and then tried to talk to females, they all tended to be drinkers and there idea of a good night was going out with there mates down to the pub and on to a club after it, these ladys would be well into there 40s and still living like this !!!

it soon became clear to me i was like a fish out of water in that world, i had hoped to meet women who might have more interest in life etc
a typical profile would read
i want a soulmate, someone to watch tv with and cuddle up on the sofa
i enjoy going out at weekends and partying with my friends
they would have face book as there main communication also, something that i really do not like at all

despite it all i did end up dating a few women from online and fell in love with them all after a few meetings lol

i never knew what love really was by the way i just thought it was somthing that i felt if i wanted to bed a female or that they would be perfect for me to come home to after work and they would be there with there arms open wide to tend to me

how perfect life would be blah blah blah

by doing all these stupid things i have grown up a lot about me because they all dam well hurt me when it went pair shapped
of course my first thing would be to blame them for not being the way i wanted them to be
but because i have a sponsor and other aa memebers throw out a few well aimed kicks up my backside i came to see that maybe just maybe the problem might be something to do with me

i have grown up in this area now, i dont fall in love on first sight anymore no matter how sexy they look
i know today how my head can run off into fantasy land but again it comes down to doing everything wrong at first and growing for it and finaly learning from it

that date you went on for example i would of been in love with that girl and dreaming about her saying that she thinks me not drinking is cool it would mean to me she loves me and wants to marry me next week lol
when in fact all it means is that she gave an opinion about what she thinks about men in general who dont drink ; ( what a let down lol

i think you have the right idea and take things slowly and get to know you for you first i am not saying your anything like me by the way i am just saying how i had to grow and learn about me and who i am etc
good luck to you

MythOfSisyphus 10-28-2014 12:02 AM

I think the whole female thing will work itself out in time, Tom.:You_Rock_

DarkDays 10-28-2014 02:00 AM

Not drinking is so cool , why would she think any different :)

Conquest 10-28-2014 02:20 AM

How encouraging! What about a friendly relationship? She sounds like someone cool to hang out with, soberly.
This post made me smile! :)

lillyknitting 03-30-2015 10:17 AM

How can anything be undermined by sobriety?

FreeOwl 03-30-2015 10:53 AM


Originally Posted by Thomasthetank (Post 4978536)
tons of girls would love a guy with the strength of character to march to the beat of their own drum, so to speak.

I think this is actually pretty true.


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