2muchpain

Just got back from watching the Vikings play the Bucs. Nice stadium. Beer all over the place, to the left of me, to the right and behind me. Could smell it throughout the game. A little tough watching people get refills from the vender walking up and down the aisles, while I was nursing a ..........Coke. Two people behind me definitely had their share and were getting kinda abnoxious, but they were funny. Got up during half-time to get another coke. There was a long line to just get a coke, but next to me was a vender just selling beer, with no line. For a minute, it seemed to make sense to get a beer, since the third quarter had started. Got a coke and went back to the game. Knew if I had a few beers at the game, I would of probably stopped by a liquor store for a few more.
Like I said, interesting day. John

august19

Good job, John.
Cut to the end of the drinking movie - the part where you puke and offend people, etc.

Hevyn

John - It feels so good when we make it over a hurdle like that. It gets easier each time. Proud of you.

silentrun

I still can't believe they won.

tommyinphilly

Good insight on realizing the liquor store would be the next stop. I'm the same way. One beer becomes a fifth of Jameson

dcrr

Way to go for sticking it out. I hate lineups and that would have been a perfect excuse for my AV.

least

Glad you made the smart decision.

Soberwolf

Well done 2MP

EndGameNYC

There are many "firsts" in sobriety. Though we have all done things before we ever started drinking, the years go by quickly during our drunkenness, and the old firsts become new firsts again.

The first time going to a wedding sober, spending a night alone, making love, going to a movie, having dinner, watching TV, going to the beach, going to bed...and waking up, attending a family event, getting a haircut, going out on a first date, having a conversation with your spouse or SO, celebrating each holiday, eating junk food, listening to music or going to a concert, celebrating your birthday, and attending a football game.

In the lexicon of rehabs and outpatient treatment, these are known as "sober references," which has accumulated a number of meanings over time, including participating in events "for the first time" sober, and which we can then later refer to as evidence that we're able to stay sober during other "first" events.

If I did it once, I can do it again.

razor15

Good work getting through that one. I can relate to the hockey games I attend where beer and the game (certainly with my seat neighbours!) goes hand in hand. I see these folks regularly and at first they kept asking me to join them for beer during intermission, but that stopped quickly and it's better now. Still there's a strong association, but it is WAY better after a few games. And I don't have to pee 3 times during the game! :-)
Amazing how you can have as much fun at the game and be sober. Who knew???

2muchpain

Yeah; I thought about several things while I was at the game. First, if I had one, I'd definitely would have another. Why not? Then I realized I was in the middle of the row. After the second beer, I would probably have a buzz going on, which meant going for a third beer. That would of meant giving up my great seat to stand next to the vender that was on the steps, cause I wouldn't want to wait for the guy to show up to where I was sitting.
Then I thought; the next time I go to a game, I need to make sure I am sitting in the first seat next to the steps to make it easier and I would not have to get up to get a beer. Now, if that's not alcoholic thinking, I don't know what is.
Looks like I still have a way to go. LMAO!! John

Soberpotamus

Great job today

You know... I can understand the alcoholic thinking and how insane is is. Today I came across what is probably the very last empty wine bottle in my house. It was shocking to see it. It had been stashed behind my desk in my home office. I grabbed it up to toss into the trash, and as I did my thoughts were... oh I wonder if there's any left! I could down it really quickly. And it was kind of horrifying to realize I'd had those thoughts, and pictured myself uncorking it and tossing it back like that. And then I realized... hey, that is not me talking! That's the addiction. And I was like... hey, that's ok. I know the AV is still there lurking. I'm not going to be fooled by it So, I tossed it in the trash, yelled for my husband to come into the room, handed him the trash and asked him to get rid of it for me We both smiled knowingly.

2muchpain

Me too!! I'm from Minneapolis, so I was rooting for them. Talked to a lot of people that were from Minnesota. Pretty cool. John

2muchpain

Nice going. That reminded me that I actually found an empty can of beer behind my sofa today while I was looking for my phone. Omen?

Hawks

You made the sane decision.

Must be something in the air... I got blindsided by a drinking thought last night driving home from a meeting.

A real sneaky one.

It didn't rock me badly at the time, but I woke up at 3am with a bit of "aftershock "..... Few posts on SR and a phone call to discuss it with another AA member and it's been all good since.

Keep up the sanity 2muchpain

FeelingGreat

Well done, these victories add up.

PurpleKnight

Fantastic stuff John!!

2muchpain

Just want to say that not drinking sucks, but drinking sucks more. Bad day today. Accused of something at work today that I did not do. Unfortunately, nobody wanted to listen to me, since the person that complained has more authority than me. So I was in the wrong even though I didn't do anything wrong. Talked myself out of drinking today, hoping tomorrow will be better. I know, life is unfair, get over it. That's what I'm trying to do.
Just wanted to vent. John

2muchpain

I just want to thank a...er...nobody for responding to my recent post. I figure it's probably because I've been around for a while now, so people just naturally move on to respond to posts from people that are newer than me and feel their responses might do more good for them or me. I'm kinda "old hat", so people see my post and just move on to someone else. Maybe people feel they have said all that needs to be said, and have nothing else to say. Maybe there is an abstract limit to how long people can continue to care. I don't know. Like many of us unfortunately have learned; even loved ones' have a limit to caring, so why shouldn't people on SR?
I think that's why people need to understand that, at the end of the day, you need to be your own best friend and greatest supporter (along with your higher power). Nothing wrong with that. Real change happens from the inside, not from the outside. Looking to others for your sobriety is a recipie for disaster.
Anyhoo, I find the lack of responses kind of liberating!! I will use this thread as a log on how I am doing day to day, with no fear of any reprisals.
So here I go.
10/31/14 Made it to 108 days, but screwed up today. it was a tough week. Tired of people and sick of being me. Hopefully, with help from my HP, this will be a short relapse, and will get back on track soon. Just want to get out of my head, but need to be careful. Don't want to go back to the hell I was living in. Most things have been great. Don't want to lose that.

2muchpain

add to 10/31- People are actually talking to me. I can actually hold a conversation without being a nervous wreck, wondering if I said something stupid. Talked to several people at the gym. A first. Striking up conversations with strangers. Went to a football game and a movie this week!!!!! I don't know why I decided to drink with all that going on, I just don't know. Need to connect with a therapist next week. Maybe that will help.