strategery

I don't think most people here continue to go back to continuing threads, so it's not you.
I liked your comment about being your own best friend since that is definitely true. I'm sorry to hear you relapsed. Why not commit to not drinking right now versus saying you'll be on track soon? *hugs*

Soberwolf

Rather than continue an old thread what most ppl do is start a new thread with an update or question

If you want fresh responces start a new thread

its not that ppl dont care you couldnt meet a nicer bunch here trust me

sorry you relapsed dont look back and dwell realise where you went wrong tweak your plan and move forward

old posts go down the line as new posts come in and newcomers has a heavy traffic rate so pls bear that in mind when posting if it has a good reply rate it bumps it up the page

EndGameNYC

I think it's telling that you went to great pains to describe your feelings and thought processes about the apparent lack of support here prior to picking up the drink.

We all face seemingly insurmountable obstacles in early sobriety, and we don't always get the support we need. We are all, ultimately, alone, but that is not the same thing as no one caring.

Reaching out for help seems to pose a great risk for many of us. Not reaching out at all pretty much guarantees that we won't get what we need.

Soberpotamus

Hi John, sorry to see you drank, and like Soberwolf said, maybe next time make a new thread asking for help so that way people can see it's not a continuation of the same thread.

MythOfSisyphus

I think if I was there I'd be thinking, "Hmmm...Fran Tarkenton is only 74- he'd still be better than Ponder/Bridgewood!"

2muchpain

Asking for help is a waste of time IMHO. The journey I'm on is a solo one, not out of choice, just is. Nobody knocking on my door. Nobody calling me to see how things are going. But I'm ok with that. Like the serenity prayer says; accept the things you cannot change. I'll continue to post comments that might be helpful to others, but that's it.
The last time I started a thread, I got a lot negative comments, so that's no use. Keeping a log here just seems to make more sense. Besides, I really don't care what people think anymore. Don't think Dee will have a problem with his. Besides haven't heard from him in a while. Probably gave up on me also, based on last comment. I have no problem with that. As long as I haven't given up on myself, there is hope.
Day two, 1/01/14... up at 7:00 am. Dumped vodka, but lots of beer left. Will drink that through the day and hopefully, tomorrow will be a new start. Got to get back to the gym. Don't want to lose what I've gained there. Also need to be clear headed for work on Wednesday. Things going well there also. Need to be strong. Will miss Saturday's speaker meeting for the first time in months. Not a good thing, but tomorrows a new day and a new beginning.
It's a relief to not care what others think. Ran into people at work yesterday that are really nice and actually like me. Made me feel good about myself. Unlike the day before, where I couldn't do anything right. Screw them.

BernieE

Glad you dumped the vodka, wish you'd dump the beer too and start today. Tomorrow can end up being a long ways off.

Barnumb

2much, I think you should move the gym up to today and dump the beer out too. No one has given up on you or anyone else on this site. I am private as well, and I don't have anyone checking in on me or aa either. This is the one outlet I have to reach out when weak. We, people like me and you have to be even more vigilant in our fight due to the last of support or understanding.

strategery

I would be careful 2muchpain with the beer. I wish you'd commit to being sober today. However, your sobriety journey is up to you.
A few years ago, I attempted to get sober and after relapsing after 12 days of sobriety, kept on drinking. A couple of years passed and my drinking got worse. I wish I had gotten sober then and hope you don't have to go through the same thing.

Goldcoastgirl

Hey John, sorry I didn't see your message earlier. Haven't been on SR for ages. Have sent you an email. Hang in there x

2muchpain

Started a new thread the last time I drank. Most of the posts were just mean. By keeping a log here makes more sense. That way, peoples' opinions don't hurt so much.

2muchpain

I've seen people on this forum on this forum at least as long as me that struggle with drinking that get more positive responses. Just don't understand the difference. I'm happy for them of course, but don't understand why the difference. AA is pretty much the same. They say, stick with the winners, so I'm thinking they think I am not one of them. Why waste the time I guess. Maybe SR and AA are right. Why bother. I'd probably give up on me too. Luckily I haven't yet. Log: 11/1/14

EndGameNYC

Stating this several times doesn't make it true.

Your alcoholic filter tells you that no one cares, and that you're okay with that. Seriously?

We can't help you unless and until you put down the drink.

SoberLeigh

Hi 2much; I guess I am one of the guilty ones; when I saw your thread I saw that you had received lots of responses so I assumed your concerns had been addressed.

I guess that speaks to the wisdom of starting a new thread if new issues in your life have come up. I am sorry that your experiences with starting new threads when you have been drinking haven't been positive but we never know 'where' a person 'is' on any given day.

I hope you pour the rest of the beer down the drain, 2much.

I am rooting for you.

LBrain

2much - had no idea you were going through troubling times, I haven't been doing a lot of SR surfing lately. But I check in frequently.
Hope you can get a handle on things. I know myself what it's like to not have anyone. SR is my only sounding board. Hang in there.

Hawks

See if you identify with this?

Sober.... The world is ugly, weeds in the gardens, annoyed with people, what's the point?

Drunk.... World is a beautiful place, you see the flowers not the weeds, people are interesting, life is interesting?

If the first rings a bell.... You have a sober living problem and alcohol changes your perception of living.

If you can ask yourself deep down "is my perception of the world rosier after some drinks? "
And you answer yes to that.

Then alcohol is not the problem, your sober perception of the world is your problem.

Finding a way to change your perception of the world, without having to drink alcohol is the answer.

Hope that helps and best wishes

Aellyce

Hi 2much,

I am sorry to hear about your current turmoil and that you drank. You must see though, that you have a pattern of expressing disappointment regarding what other people can offer, and seeking help in general...

I've personally never in my life experienced such care and support from so many people, coming from all walks of life, different stages of their sobriety and life, etc etc... than here on SR. It's simply incredible and unbelievable to me at times. But I think I get what you mean because I also see similar concerns, disappointments, and anger from others... please don't take this as criticism. I think it definitely varies how much feedback and support we get on different threads, depending on topic, how we express ourselves, what the problem is... and well, I think the posters here are human beings, like in 3D life. People get busy, sometimes read threads selectively, and more. It's NOT about how long you have been here. But one thing is true: like with all human relationships, I think they also work best on SR if we work on them, invest into them, if we get involved, offer help and advice to others, if we express our struggles honestly. My experience here has been that we need to build up these virtual relationships, there is a lot of unconditional love and support here, but it works best if it's mutual and the others feel it, too. Like with recovery in general, we get out what we put in, really.

I do agree with others that if you would like a lot of attention and responses on a particular topic, or if you need immediate feedback and support, it's best to post a fresh thread with a title that highlights what's going on. I just posted a couple threads this week and I'm still in awe with the responses I've gotten. Like dropping jaws open in awe. I don't think that you need to be new... in fact, I often tend to look for and follow the posts of "old friends" here on SR, and I see others do the same. I think it's much more down to our own attitude, how we use the feedback and express this so people know... and how much we contribute in a constructive, supportive way, to others' questions, problems, struggles.

Please don't close yourself off from the possibilities a sober life and connection with others can offer.

PurpleKnight

Hey John, sorry to hear your finding things tough!!

I'm pretty sure though that most regulars on SR try to be as supportive as possible to everyone, though there are a few variables like timezones and whether a thread is new or existing definitely affect response levels.

There's truth in saying that we rise and fall on our own commitment to Sobriety, it is a journey that no one else can make happen for us, we have to walk that path ourselves, though support and being amongst like minded people can be very valuable, not feeling isolated and alone as we make the journey can make all the difference.

Hang in there!!

Amazingglazier

2Much, sorry you feel abandoned by some of us, but you are not. Please feel free to PM me if you'd like. I feel your Pain, Really! I just found out that my plan of a happy, joyous route to recovery was not drinking and going to counseling and probation, then paying thousands for probation, Motor Vehicle penalties/fees. Did my jail time, judge had me sign a plea agreement that said do the jail time, pay all the fees and have my license revoked for 1 year, well neither he or my overpriced lawyer told me about a new administrative rule that they can look back your lifetime driving record and revoke it for another 10 years after the judges 1 year! It has made me come very close to think about drinking, but I did not, yet! They even say they can revoke it for life in NY if they like and with the new National Drivers License registry the Feds have , if they do that I will never be able to drive in the United States for the rest of my life, after being the model citizen(lol) , and giving them every dime I make ! Please PM me and talk as you don't have to drink, Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

SoberLeigh

Hi AG; yeah, long time, no see.

Just checking in, 2much.