Day 2
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Jacksonville FL
Posts: 164
Day 2
So today was day 2. I didn't drink, I went to a meeting, and now I'm home. It is my Dad's 60th b day today. I need to call him to wish him a happy birthday. I love my Dad, he is great.. but I really don't like phone calls to people I hardly ever talk to on the phone. It is the same way when I have to call my brother on his b day. Its not that I don't love them, its just we only really talk when we see each other. And phone calls make me anxious. I don't mind talking on the phone with my mom, or if I have a boyfriend at the time, because those people I talk to all the time on the phone. So its no big deal. I know it sounds weird.
I also don't like calling cause I have nothing exciting or happy in my life right now. No good news to share. I feel like they can tell in my voice and in what I say that I am not doing well. And I don't want people to worry about me. I just want to fix my life and get better so I won't have to feel like people worry about me or pity me or something.
Even people in the AA meeting tonight, when I shared that I went 2 1/2 days without drinking but then drank Friday night, people said that it just broke their heart when they listened to me share... Its like they look at me like Im this sick person who needs a lot of help. But before I started trying to quit drinking, I never thought of myself that way.
Im just feeling sad, anxious, and helpless tonight.
I also don't like calling cause I have nothing exciting or happy in my life right now. No good news to share. I feel like they can tell in my voice and in what I say that I am not doing well. And I don't want people to worry about me. I just want to fix my life and get better so I won't have to feel like people worry about me or pity me or something.
Even people in the AA meeting tonight, when I shared that I went 2 1/2 days without drinking but then drank Friday night, people said that it just broke their heart when they listened to me share... Its like they look at me like Im this sick person who needs a lot of help. But before I started trying to quit drinking, I never thought of myself that way.
Im just feeling sad, anxious, and helpless tonight.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by ItsJustMe89 
So today was day 2. I didn't drink, I went to a meeting, and now I'm home. It is my Dad's 60th b day today. I need to call him to wish him a happy birthday. I love my Dad, he is great.. but I really don't like phone calls to people I hardly ever talk to on the phone. It is the same way when I have to call my brother on his b day. Its not that I don't love them, its just we only really talk when we see each other. And phone calls make me anxious. I don't mind talking on the phone with my mom, or if I have a boyfriend at the time, because those people I talk to all the time on the phone. So its no big deal. I know it sounds weird.
I also don't like calling cause I have nothing exciting or happy in my life right now. No good news to share. I feel like they can tell in my voice and in what I say that I am not doing well. And I don't want people to worry about me. I just want to fix my life and get better so I won't have to feel like people worry about me or pity me or something.
Even people in the AA meeting tonight, when I shared that I went 2 1/2 days without drinking but then drank Friday night, people said that it just broke their heart when they listened to me share... Its like they look at me like Im this sick person who needs a lot of help. But before I started trying to quit drinking, I never thought of myself that way.
Im just feeling sad, anxious, and helpless tonight.
I also don't like calling cause I have nothing exciting or happy in my life right now. No good news to share. I feel like they can tell in my voice and in what I say that I am not doing well. And I don't want people to worry about me. I just want to fix my life and get better so I won't have to feel like people worry about me or pity me or something.
Even people in the AA meeting tonight, when I shared that I went 2 1/2 days without drinking but then drank Friday night, people said that it just broke their heart when they listened to me share... Its like they look at me like Im this sick person who needs a lot of help. But before I started trying to quit drinking, I never thought of myself that way.
Im just feeling sad, anxious, and helpless tonight.
I found at AA most of what I thought others "felt" simply was in my alcohol infused brain. It simply wasn't true....
If you don't like calling dad or bro, send em a card in the future. Find out who you are and start to love yourself
You're so worth it!!!
Fly
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
Call your Dad. He won't be around forever and family is (for me anyway) the most important thing we have. I don't like talking on the phone either but I make a point to call my father at least two to three times a week especially since my mom passed a few months ago. If you can't share your hardships with family, who can you share them with?
Maybe you are a sick person who needs a lot of help but you have to really make an effort to help yourself. Nobody can keep you sober but you. Try to have a positive attitude. Self pity only makes things worse.
You can do it!
Maybe you are a sick person who needs a lot of help but you have to really make an effort to help yourself. Nobody can keep you sober but you. Try to have a positive attitude. Self pity only makes things worse.
You can do it!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Jacksonville FL
Posts: 164
dcrr, thank you for saying that I have conquered day 2 and never have to again. That is a really great way to look at it. And I hope I never am on day 2 again.
esinger, I did call my dad. I just got off the phone with him. We talked for 50mins. Calling is not something I like doing, but it was not that bad.. It was good to talk to him and catch up. You are right, our parents won't be around forever. I need to appreciate them as long as I can.
I really thought about drinking tonight. I have some Captain Morgan left over from Friday and 2 Heinekens. And I wanted to drink while on the phone. I used to always have a nice drink during phone calls. Seemed to make them more fun and I was more talkative and social. But I didn't need to drink, so I didn't.
Staying sober is going to be hard work. I can skip a night, or two nights, but then I just really want to drink. Like if I let myself drink 2 or 3 nights a week, I could handle that. But then nothing would get better. Cutting down isn't going to be enough for me I don't think. I think the only way to improve my life is going to be abstinence.
I made it threw today, that's all I need to focus on right now.
esinger, I did call my dad. I just got off the phone with him. We talked for 50mins. Calling is not something I like doing, but it was not that bad.. It was good to talk to him and catch up. You are right, our parents won't be around forever. I need to appreciate them as long as I can.
I really thought about drinking tonight. I have some Captain Morgan left over from Friday and 2 Heinekens. And I wanted to drink while on the phone. I used to always have a nice drink during phone calls. Seemed to make them more fun and I was more talkative and social. But I didn't need to drink, so I didn't.
Staying sober is going to be hard work. I can skip a night, or two nights, but then I just really want to drink. Like if I let myself drink 2 or 3 nights a week, I could handle that. But then nothing would get better. Cutting down isn't going to be enough for me I don't think. I think the only way to improve my life is going to be abstinence.
I made it threw today, that's all I need to focus on right now.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by ItsJustMe89
I have some Captain Morgan left over from Friday and 2 Heinekens.
Also, congrats on day 2! Don't let what you think others think of your sobriety (or relapse) get in the way of you staying sober.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Jacksonville FL
Posts: 164
SoberJennie, you are right. It is a temptation I don't need and it sets me up to fail. I can relapse easily even if I don't have alcohol in my house. So having it in my house only makes it that much more convenient to relapse. I will be getting rid of it.
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