Got through day three - thanks
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: London, England
Posts: 1,702
Got through day three - thanks
Have reached the end on my third day, and it wasn't too bad.
Any physical cravings have been fairly mild, and I managed to get rid of them pretty much, with a hot meal, and some appletize. It is of course the mental side of it that is the hardest.
The trouble is, almost no one I know would tell me that I need to do this. I've been lucky in that I always seem reasonably together when I'm drunk - no bad behaviour, I just get a bit morose. What they don't see is the depression, the crushing hangovers, and the drinks I put away long after they've all gone home to bed. Neither do they see the money I lose through missing work. That's the trouble - I'm trying to do this thing but it feels that no one (outside of these forums) cares if I do or not.
My energy levels feel good, and at points in the day I even felt little waves of happiness, which was great. What hits me though, especially once the evening arrives, are those nagging thoughts: 'you really don't need to do this', 'you're not a real alcoholic', etc.
There are several things that are sustaining me at the moment: the support from this forum (thank you all), the simple pleasure of not feeling unwell, and also a real curiosity to see what the world can look like through clear eyes.
For so many years, I've used alcohol to numb things in my life. Yesterday, someone on the forum talked about this - that it doesn't just numb the pain, it also numbs the joy. That is so true. I've laughed at things, and have had moments of happiness, but I really can't remember the last time I experienced anything close to joy. It's been so many years.
A few years ago my mother died of cancer. I left me in shock for a while, which turned into depression. While the depression ended, what I realise is that I never dealt with it emotionally, because you've got to be sober to truly do that. I can see that now. And it isn't just that, it's a whole raft of things in my life, that a long due some examination.
Anyway, I don't want to sound too negative, as I'm actually doing OK. I'm feeling alright. Gonna hit the hay soon, and more importantly I'll be waking up tomorrow with a clear head. Some great advice since I joined the forum yesterday, and the one I'm really clinging to is 'one day at a time'.
Feels awful to go on and on about myself for so long, but I guess that's sharing. I want to try and support others more, but right now it feels hard to do that as I'm only 3 days in! So, for now I'll just say, love and luck to you all.
Any physical cravings have been fairly mild, and I managed to get rid of them pretty much, with a hot meal, and some appletize. It is of course the mental side of it that is the hardest.
The trouble is, almost no one I know would tell me that I need to do this. I've been lucky in that I always seem reasonably together when I'm drunk - no bad behaviour, I just get a bit morose. What they don't see is the depression, the crushing hangovers, and the drinks I put away long after they've all gone home to bed. Neither do they see the money I lose through missing work. That's the trouble - I'm trying to do this thing but it feels that no one (outside of these forums) cares if I do or not.
My energy levels feel good, and at points in the day I even felt little waves of happiness, which was great. What hits me though, especially once the evening arrives, are those nagging thoughts: 'you really don't need to do this', 'you're not a real alcoholic', etc.
There are several things that are sustaining me at the moment: the support from this forum (thank you all), the simple pleasure of not feeling unwell, and also a real curiosity to see what the world can look like through clear eyes.
For so many years, I've used alcohol to numb things in my life. Yesterday, someone on the forum talked about this - that it doesn't just numb the pain, it also numbs the joy. That is so true. I've laughed at things, and have had moments of happiness, but I really can't remember the last time I experienced anything close to joy. It's been so many years.
A few years ago my mother died of cancer. I left me in shock for a while, which turned into depression. While the depression ended, what I realise is that I never dealt with it emotionally, because you've got to be sober to truly do that. I can see that now. And it isn't just that, it's a whole raft of things in my life, that a long due some examination.
Anyway, I don't want to sound too negative, as I'm actually doing OK. I'm feeling alright. Gonna hit the hay soon, and more importantly I'll be waking up tomorrow with a clear head. Some great advice since I joined the forum yesterday, and the one I'm really clinging to is 'one day at a time'.
Feels awful to go on and on about myself for so long, but I guess that's sharing. I want to try and support others more, but right now it feels hard to do that as I'm only 3 days in! So, for now I'll just say, love and luck to you all.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
I always thought the first few days were the hardest, when you feel the worst. 
I'm glad you made it thru that hell. 
It will continue to get better as long as you stay sober. Don't let the addictive voice talk you into drinking. You deserve better than that. 
I'm glad you made it thru that hell. It will continue to get better as long as you stay sober. Don't let the addictive voice talk you into drinking. You deserve better than that. Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Jack, if you've ever been to an AA meeting, that's what it's about: sharing personal experience. Cross talk and giving advice is a strict no-no.
So you are doing great. Congratulations, seriously, on three days (I've been on and off this site for over four years and am currently only ten days sober) and just keep hanging on in there.
I've also been mostly a secret drinker for the last decade. You can let your monkeys out on SR, we get it.
So you are doing great. Congratulations, seriously, on three days (I've been on and off this site for over four years and am currently only ten days sober) and just keep hanging on in there.
I've also been mostly a secret drinker for the last decade. You can let your monkeys out on SR, we get it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Jack,
You make a really good point about other people not thinking that we were as bad as we were. Up until June when I stopped, I would go to happy hour a few times a week with a few friends. I would have two or three beers over an hour or two or three. I would bid farewell to my friends and go home but not before stopping for a fifth of vodka or a 12 pack of beer. My own happy hour would last until about 1 AM and I would finish whatever I had purchased.
None of my friends ever asked me to stop or told me to stop but like you, I knew I had to stop. Three days is awesome! Just think, you'll never have to have a hangover again.
You make a really good point about other people not thinking that we were as bad as we were. Up until June when I stopped, I would go to happy hour a few times a week with a few friends. I would have two or three beers over an hour or two or three. I would bid farewell to my friends and go home but not before stopping for a fifth of vodka or a 12 pack of beer. My own happy hour would last until about 1 AM and I would finish whatever I had purchased.
None of my friends ever asked me to stop or told me to stop but like you, I knew I had to stop. Three days is awesome! Just think, you'll never have to have a hangover again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Honolulu
Posts: 11
I think you're fortunate to have the self-awareness to do this now, BEFORE everybody around you tells you that you need to stop. It may be hard without their support but you still have friends and family that care, I gather.
And the important thing is, we understand what you're going through. Just finishing day four, here. I appreciate your restating that alcohol also numbs the joy. I never thought of it like that, but it is so true.
And the important thing is, we understand what you're going through. Just finishing day four, here. I appreciate your restating that alcohol also numbs the joy. I never thought of it like that, but it is so true.
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