dcrr

...for 10 hours last night. I didn't realize how much rest my body was missing from the late night binges. It's day 3 today and I feel fantastic. I feel like I have the whole day now to get things done, not have it wasted by guilt and a thumping headache. One thought came to mind this morning: I have a friend who is in college that I told I would maybe come and visit sometime in November (haven't seen him in almost a year now). The problem is that he was one of my "drinking buddies"....and he really likes to drink. Obviously I should not go as he wouldn't allow me to sit there and watch him drink ( nor do I think I could at this point) and in the past I have told him I was quitting alcohol and he would tell me that I didn't have a problem or that I was making my drinking a big deal out of nothing. It's not that he doesn't care, I think he just doesn't understand. He also doesn't seem to think he has an issue either.
Should I just make up an excuse not to go? Maybe a white lie to cancel the plans?

Conquest

Day 3 with 10 hours of rest under your belt has got to feel amazing! As for handling your friend... I've told little white lies to keep me sane and sober. Nothing big, just saying that I've got work to do at home in the evenings instead of going out. (My "work" was actually watching Netflix.)
Doing great! Keep at it.

Stevie1

dcrr, I've been sleeping better as well.

Can you meet with your friend over breakfast or brunch, or for an activity that doesn't really lend itself to drinking? I also think it's OK to say that you're not drinking right now; don't have to give a reason if you don't want to. Just say something jokey like "I'm wringing out my liver" (a phrase we used to use after wild drunken weekends) or something vague about health reasons.

I have mostly become a solitary drinker in my dotage LOL, but I do have a couple of people I'd drink with. I have no intention of cutting them out of my life completely, but I am limiting our interaction these days. Besides, drunk people are loud and boring as feces when you're the sober one and they're trashed.

anattaboy

Congrats on putting the plug in the jug! Glad you're sleeping. If you gotta see your friend make it short. Maybe have a planned escape time and reason or tell him the truth. My brother came to visit some years back when I was sober and I knew he would have to drink so I take him down to the riverfront here where open containers are permissible. He pounded a couple twisted teas and wanted to eat so I recommended a place that had good food and is a bar. Things went well through the eating part-he had 2 beers and I was drinking tea. About 40 minutes in and bro strikes up meaningless conversation with the guy next to him and orders another beer. I tell him I gotta go (he drove). He sez he just ordered a beer. I say I'm smoking outside and will see him there. If he stayed more than 15 min. I was prepared to walk home. I was not tempted to drink or anxious. I told my brother why I had to leave on the way home and he still thinks it was being around the alcohol but it was more being around the alcoholic. Just my 2 cents. I will walk away from any situation that threatens my peace of mind. Hanging with heavy drinking friends? 30- 40 minutes tops for me.

dcrr

In this situation I think it is better for me not to go. He lives over 100km away from me and I would have to rent a car to go see him. My escape would be driving back here. Also, I would be staying at his place (which no doubt would have alcohol everywhere). I hope that one day I can do what you did anattaboy and lay the ground rules and stick to them, even if I have to walk/drive home.

huntingtontx

Congrats on day 3. You have the right idea. You have to do what is best for you right now. If he is your friend he will still be your friend when you have some more time under your belt and are ready to be around drinkers. You are doing great.

JanieJ

Yes, I would avoid that. It will be hard work.

I've made up my mind not to go anywhere where I might be faced with anything like that for the time being.

Many congrats on day three

PurpleKnight

Day 3 is fantastic!! Keep pushing through!!

MavisTheFairy13

Congrats on 3 days!!!!! I agree about avoiding your drinking buddy this early on unless you can do something that doesn't involve alcohol. You're doing great!!!

MissOverIt

congrats!! Day 3 is big! I'm currently avoiding situations like that. My recent attempts to quit I still tried to keep up with prior commitments like yours but always failed. This time around I'm just laying low for a while.