SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

So i've gone from I want to kill myself and everybody on day 4. To an glimpse of an emotional high on day 7. To a completely hopeless absolute desperate desire to drink my feelings away on day 8. I survived to today and I didn't touch the bottle yesterday. I'm not exactly feeling great about myself today, pretty lethargic, not really motivated, but I'm happy i'm not feeling this way as well as carrying guilt had I chose to go to the liquor store. Breaking up with the SO yesterday and the screaming that ensued I am somewhat amazed I did make it through the day. My cousin convinced me to attend my first AA meeting last night, which I VERY reluctantly did. The meeting didn't make me see puppies and rainbows, but there was a small comfort given in the amount of support I did receive yesterday. A few phone numbers were given to me, a couple hugs from a couple nice ladies, everybody really willing to share their story. Apparently I'm going to be receiving a couple phone calls today just from the other members just to touch base. Though I feel weird about talking to strangers, I guess there's comfort in knowing somebody is going to call because they care. If I had to rate my mood today i'd put it at a 5. I'm just kind of feeling numb. My energy I would put at a 2, and that's after having an Ativan induced sleep. Guess I'm just hoping for something to come along in my day to shake me out of this "blah" and make it a "good" day, not a "whatever" day.