So I finally checked myself into detox.
 

On Monday morning I woke up under a hotel basement stairwell after a four day binder. It was so cold outside I guess I wandered in there.. Thank god it's frigid out and I could have froze. I quit my job thousands of miles away from home in one of the coldest places in the country and figured I'd just live free and hitch hike across the country having an epic ol drunk time.. Then I woke up trespassing in a building suicidal and barely able to move.. found the nearest hospital and checked myself in. didnt really have any choice though because im homeless again and this is the last resort.. im not trying to freeze.

that was Monday and I'm on a Librium detox now and have no idea what I'm doing next. I'm scared to get out of here and when I run out of benzos I don't know how my body will react.

Addiction sucks!!!

I'm glad you're ok and safe sectownkid :)

do you have any friends or family to help after this?
D

I'm sure the hospital and the medical personnel there would not throw you out on the street if you were having withdrawals since they constitute a medical emergency and I don't think any doctor would be okay with abandoning you in a serious condition. I have been on Librium too and as I understand benzos for alcohol withdrawal are not meant to be taken for a long time. My DR had told me to take them for 7 days and then withdrawals are over so you should be ok. Anyway you are in a hospital in care of doctors so I'm sure you can ask them for medical advice and about your concerns so that they can help you. Good luck!!!

I have some friends and family spread across the country.. I'm so far away and so broke that, if I spend my surviving cash to get there I dont know what to do next.. Four days ago I had a job and a place to stay and I chose to quit working and leave everything to drink and be homeless .. I am beginning to think my sanity is at its at my breaking point

I've done this too. A few times, in fact... And every time I've made it back home or out of harm's way somehow. This most recent time was the time that finally taught me a lesson. & introduced my to my higher power and decision to get and stay sober. I'm not in your shoes so I can't say exactly how to go about fixing your situation but what I can say is that [like everything in life] you will get through this. It never seems like it when we're in deep sh* but in hindsight these types of things absolutely strengthen us and introduce us to ourselves. Good luck!

B

what are your thoughts on AA?

if nothing else it might give you a few local contacts for support, as well as leads on places to stay, jobs etc.

D

Just wanted to say I hope that you can get yourself sorted, could you call your family and maybe they could put some support in place if you went there? Thank goodness you did wake up and check yourself into rehab :)

Hi. Logic for many would be to stop using the items used to get you into this situation. It may not be easy but the path you seem to be on is far worse mentally and emotionally.
AA was suggested as an aid but we have to want to stop the addiction, be honest with ourselves about our addictions and accept we cannot continue the road we are on as it’s guaranteed to get worse like it or not.
If we keep coming perhaps we will recognize the insane things we do expecting different results.
BE WELL

Oh gosh, I'm glad you are warm. Did the hospital give you any references or have any available? Find AA in the meantime. Hang in there, I hope things get better for you

STK,

Wish you the best my friend.

Dee, AA is an incredible program and it changes lives I acknowledge that. I've been in and out of it for 12 years, first court ordered then on my own accord. Once I had a guy drive 30 miles through an icy canyon on the Colorado river just to pick me up at the liquor store because I called him. You know what I did that night? I got trashed and packed everything I own and quit my job and drove to Utah. I will always miss that group I was actually making real friends. I hope I find a group like them again someday and commit this time.

A quick update I am being discharged tomorrow and haven't slept at all. I'm scared. The benzos they keep giving me aren't working and I'm finding myself trying to manipulate different staff to give me higher doses. They are trying to sedate me with other drugs now to sleep. I can't sleep I just lay there for hours in my mind. I started hearing the voices again, I can never remember what they say this time was a little girl whispering in my ear. I need alcohol to sleep or a stronger benzo or something. I'm terrified of not sleeping. So I'm just sitting in the lobby outside my room drinking coffee because I would rather stimulate my mind than hear the voices. It's frightening beyond description at first but lately it's just annoying. What the hell man.. Maybe I should commit myself somewhere? I mean I have no where to go anyway after this and these doctors don't seem to give a **** or have any knowledge whats happening to me nuerologically please excuse the language

Did you tell the Drs about the voices?
If you think commiting yourself is viable it might be worth following up.

I have absolutely no local knowledge for you sectownkid but I'm praying something turns up for you.

D

Goodluck