Hawks

I'd like to say thanks to you for taking the time to personally respond to so many of the posts.

Sincerely all the best with your situation

ssenteews

Mags1, just reading about your experience, has caused me to see my husband from a renewed positive light. The painful memories and figurative scares that you carry lets me know that my husband is going through the same ordeal. There have been "tsunami like" chapters and pages in our life when his drinking got way out of hand, but somehow we made it through with God's help....Today at a meeting for Family and Patient, the speaker said something very interesting. She said: "Oftentime those with drinking problems or those who abuse drugs regularly "burn bridges" or destroy relationships with others in their life. And she said this causes much depression for them....Then she said something so profound that it not only gave me hope that my husband would and could recover from this "thing" her statement gave me strong incentive to be determined to help my husband. She said: "EVEN THOUGH A PERSON MAY BURN BRIDGES ALONG THE WAY", JUST REMEMBER THAT THOSE BRIDGES CAN BE REPAIRED AND MADE EVEN BIGGER AND STRONGER!" She said it would take personal effort and determination to build those "bridges" back up, but that it is not an impossible task, especially when you have a support system and are learning positive life changes and the like.

ssenteews

You are welcome Hawks, responding to those wonderful posts and comments is like therapy to me. It calms my heart when I do so.

ssenteews

Good morning Dee74, yes my husband is in detox right now. The group sessions seem to be really helping. When I talked with him last night he was upbeat and positive. I have to remember that the medication that they give him makes him lethargic and helps to alleviate his withdrawal symptoms. Also, they are giving him an anti-depressant called Zoloft, which makes him seem to me less enthused about recovering but that is not the case. And yes Dee74, it is a very good sign that he is in this detox program. I realize it will take a lot of love and patience and my mindset and heartset is to continue to help him in anyway I can.

Dee74

You can just call me Dee, ssenteews - everyone else does

D

Meraviglioso

YOu seem like such a loving, supportive wife ssenteews. I am so glad to hear that both your husband and you are getting help during this time. One thing I do want to say is that we alcoholics really do not want to be the difficult, mean and selfish people we often become. It is not the fault of anyone in our lives that we drink to excess and act the way we do. It is not you, it is US and out alcoholism.
It might help you to read some more medical based books to understand why some people become alcoholics and why others don't. I'll try to dig up a thread that came up the other day that highlighted some parts of a very interesting book called "Under the Influence"
Sending you hope.

Meraviglioso

Ok, I found it. Some of it is a bit heavy/technical but it was a real relief for me to read. I could see clearly in black and white that I am not a bad person, it is not that I am not strong enough or not trying hard enough or whatever, I have a real problem and that is why I cannot drink like a normal person. I have a problem and that is what makes me have a hard time quitting and is what makes it so easy to relapse. Just knowing this might make it easier for you to see your husband in a different light and might make you understand what he is going through. I was so moved by these words that I ordered the book, I cannot wait for it to arrive.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

PurpleKnight

An addict will continue to fuel their addiction despite the consequences, even to the point of destroying themselves.

The important thing is to get support for YOU, looking in on addiction can be a very lonely place, you'll find loads of support here on SR, but Al-anon is also a great place!!