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-   -   that familiar urge to have one (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/348526-familiar-urge-have-one.html)

LBrain 10-22-2014 02:55 PM

that familiar urge to have one
 
I'm still in my first year. As such, I am still doing everything for the 'first time'.
I would always have a couple as I prepared to hunt. And always have a "few" after the hunt. If I got a deer, by the time I got home I shouldn't have been driving. ... I felt that urge last night. Really wanted a beer. I didn't crave alcohol nor was I at my wit's end over it. But it became a part of the ritual. And the couple shots ( usually whiskey) that would have calmed me down after the harvest.

I felt it last nite. A bunch of kids were carrying on in an adjacent field so I didn't see anything. Guess I have to keep some caffeine free ginger ale at the ready for my celebration drink this year. I have not had the urge to drink for a while, but once again doing something that always had beer as a part of it made me think about it. Now that I experienced that feeling and let it out, I can go forward with no worries. Just had to share that.

The bonus is not having to take a pee at the wrong time ;)

Mark1014 10-22-2014 03:01 PM

LBrain, glad you conquered another 'first'. Hope you get that big buck.

Dee74 10-22-2014 03:04 PM

I have every confidence in you Lbrain :)

D

goose333 10-22-2014 03:20 PM

LBrain,
I know what you mean. There are certain events & times where alcohol was an important part. As I encounter them I miss that part and have to be careful to not screw up. It's not a super craving, but just reflex or longing. Still makes me sad at times.

desypete 10-22-2014 03:32 PM

do you ever hunger for an ice cream or a cream cake ? or a bar of chocolate, do you run off to get one or do you give it a miss ?

its that same sort of thing with the booze it can come from all directions in all manner of ways
might be a football game on and the thought might come in about how you would enjoy watching it with a drink
but its only a thought it what we do with those thoughts is the answer, the longer your around and sober the less they become and the more we can end up laughing if those thoughts ever came in, in short we have learned now what to do with them rather than just acting on impulse and acting out those thoughts

well done for having a thought and not acting on it
dont let it get to you as its perfectly normaly to have them and they will come again at times we might get sober and stay sober but we are not totaly immune to having thoughts : )

Hawks 10-22-2014 03:46 PM

The "ritual drinking" thoughts.

I'm not the only one who has them.... Phew.

Mowing the lawn is my biggest one... Especially if it's a stinking hot day and it's coming on summer here in Australia. :tapping

Keep your eyes on the prize (stag) and don't drink and shoot.... You will figuratively shoot your self in the foot and you might even literally....ouch :a108:

Ruby2 10-22-2014 05:19 PM

I'm glad you got through that unscathed Brain. I feel the same sometimes. You and I have about the same time. I don't really want to drink. I can walk past alcohol now without really even noticing it but sometimes when I'm doing something I've always associated with drinking, for the first time sober, I get cravings. I just sit back and figure it will pass so long as I acknowledge it for what it is and don't act on it.

Yay!

MythOfSisyphus 10-22-2014 11:08 PM

I'm glad you got through it! Lots of hunters use the trip as an excuse to get drunk but my dad was "old school". He felt hunting was a reverent activity and he would not tolerate drunks around it. I haven't hunted in many years, and since my dad passed I probably never will again. Just as well, I'm kind of a wussy anyways!:emb I like to eat meat but I'm too softhearted to "do the deed" with my own hands.

Meraviglioso 10-22-2014 11:47 PM


Originally Posted by LBrain (Post 4969924)

The bonus is not having to take a pee at the wrong time ;)

yes, and not handling a loaded gun while drinking!!!! Guns minus alcohol is always a good idea, no matter how careful you were before.

Good for you for getting through that, I can relate to those feelings. It is almost strange doing those things the first time without alcohol, isn't it? But you got through it, paving the way for a new habit. Could you take a thermos of a special hot tea to enjoy? Maybe some hot apple cider as a celebratory drink?
Best of luck with the hunt this year!
Oh and do you have any recipes for deer? I have several friends who are hunters who regularly gift me meat. I get a lot of wild boar, which i delicious, but I haven't figured out a great way to prepare venison yet. Each time it has ended up dry and with an overwhelming flavor of the marinade.

EndGameNYC 10-23-2014 07:21 AM

A great description of the process, LB.

Everything old is new again. I remember my first sober Christmas, coming up on thirty two years ago. It snowed the night before, I think, because there was a good amount of snow on the ground. I was in great spirits, having been sober for ~eight months at the time, and having worked hard on getting sober. In the early evening, I took my Mom's dog for a walk, down the street where there was a view overlooking a harbor. You couldn't have created a better Christmas Card. I thought to myself, "I never have to be drunk on Christmas again."

Of course, I relapsed twenty five years later, but that day and a few other days are etched in my emotional memory. My psyche does a good job at approximating the thoughts and feelings I had on those days.

You're doing great, man, and it's good to see you making such wonderful progress.

LBrain 10-23-2014 08:28 AM

thanks for the comments all.
HAWKS, earlier this year I was unable to do spring yard work for more than an hour. The beer thing reared its ugly head often. I took a lot of breaks and logged on SR to get me through it. It is amazing how drinking became an integral part of existence for me.
+++ I am not carrying a firearm. Never got drunk with a weapon in my hands in the past.
Made up for it at the campfire later though...

Last nite I prepared to go out early. Had everything ready but woke up at 7. When I got to my designated spot I saw a bunch of white flags. Had I been there an hour sooner like I wanted to be... But I got some rest.

Mera: No recipe for now. But I will say the two worst things to do are to over marinate and over cook. A good piece of venison on the grill is 'over easy' ;)

EndGameNYC 10-23-2014 09:35 AM


Originally Posted by LBrain (Post 4971152)
...I will say the two worst things to do are to over marinate and over cook.

My drinking made both of these inevitable. And I'm not talking about venison.

Arbor 10-23-2014 09:56 AM


Originally Posted by LBrain (Post 4969924)
Now that I experienced that feeling and let it out, I can go forward with no worries.

Wonderfully said. Now you have more ammo!

PurpleKnight 10-23-2014 10:49 AM

Keep truckin' Brian!! :)

Aellyce 10-23-2014 11:36 AM

I really relate to that, Brain. Not the hunting, but the first few months were truly weird because of this, sometimes as though I was transported to an alternate reality, or better yet come out of a different dimension. Same old places and experiences seemed quite unfamiliar. I still get this feeling every now and then at 9 months. I kinda like these feelings because I usually enjoy novelty, but it can be strange. I often get the thought that it's a bit like the past ~8 years when I was drinking heavily was a dream or a movie. Even the years before, it really feels like a different life at times.

Great post and recovery work!


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