Slumerican

Hello SR, Hope everyone is doing well and staying committed to sobriety!! I haven't posted since day 2, and here it is day 9 alcohol free, and day 7 without using.

I honestly feel healthier, and know that I am doing "right", but I am becoming discouraged and I don't know why or at what.

Maybe this is an excuse to drink?? Or even use??

Everyday I feel it getting easier, and harder at the same time, to stay sober...

I often find myself using my week of sobriety as a reason that I can drink and get away with it. "I've gone a week, that just shows I don't have a problem, what's wrong with having a beer after work"? I have to push these thoughts out as soon as they come in my head.

Thinking of going to a meeting Thursday night, doing this by myself has been harder than I expected. Posting here really does help, I just haven't made the time to do so. I work 12 hour shifts at work, so that takes a lot of my time, which is good in a way. It helps me stay occupied, thus not drinking.

I just made it through the first weekend, which was a big test. Having all that free time is dangerous!! haha but that was a big boost to my confidence!


Just hoping it gets easier, I know everyday is going to be a struggle. Has anyone else felt this way?

glandon

congrats on getting through the first weekend, having 9 days AF! Wouldn't you say that things are already getting better? How do you feel now vs. a week and a half ago?

Slumerican

Well, like I said earlier, I feel great. More energy, cleaner lol But it's a reality check. Seeing how hard this really is has kind of opened my eyes to the severity of my drinking. It's scary...

glandon

What do you find scary?

Stevie1

Good going on your nine days, that is awesome!

Hate to tell you this, but it won't get easier with time. You'll really have to WORK at staying sober. Make time for whatever it takes. Meetings, posting, lifestyle changes, whatever. It's more than just "not drinking." That is almost the easy part.

From experience, I can tell you that repeatedly falling on your face every week or two gets real old, real fast.

Slumerican

That I want to drink so badly, and I don't know why.

BlissWithin

It seems you're having an argument with your AV (alcoholic/addiction voice) the sooner you realize it the better are your chances at beating it.

Slumerican

Thanks Stevie, I've quickly realized it doesn't get easier! ha

That is so true that the not drinking is almost the easy part. All the emotions that come with this change seem to be the hardest part so far

glandon

There is real wisdom in what you say. Getting through the drinking part is pretty straightforward. As you know there is plenty of advice here on how to do that.

It's what we do next that really counts. I am entering what I call phase 2. Seriously looking at why I drank; what were my (probably many) motivations?

I am nervous about tackling this part. Once I know the answers, implementing them may be be both challenging, and in the same moment wonderful.

Make sense?

Slumerican

You make all the sense in the world!

I have been thinking a lot about why i drank the way i did and how it made me feel. Or if I drank/used not to feel.

Nervous, challenging, and wonderful are all words I would use to describe that whole process exactly!

Congratulations on reaching this stage in your sobriety. I am looking forward to reaching "phase 2". I honestly don't think i'm ready for that part yet. I am planning on getting a couple weeks, or months in. However long it takes. Just one day at a time

Stevie1

You got it!

That's why lifestyle change is an important part of this - AA, SMART, RR, becoming a gym rat, etc. Something to replace the not-drinking. Because otherwise you are taking away something that on some level worked for you, but not replacing it with something healthier.

I think you are on the right track.

Soberwolf

Well done on day 9 & day 7

fantastic news

PurpleKnight

Keep pushing through!! Day 9 is fantastic!!