So mad i could spit!!
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Originally Posted by countrygirl2014 
Lol, I just worked this out. Oh and most important...staying sober. I totally just worked this out. Huh...that's a first.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Originally Posted by josharon
One of the few things I like about my husband these days is that he's not an alcoholic. What's that saying...if you have alcoholic parents you will either become a drunk or marry one (something like that). I absolutely could not IMAGINE doing both, especially because I have kids. Hang in there, CG. You're doing all the right things, but remember that drinking is not all ugliness, and sometime he will be doing it and it will remind you that it used to be fun. And you might think, "he gets to do it, and I've been so good for so long, I deserve it too!" At least that's what I would probably think. It sounds like you have a really tough decision to make, but maybe you can prevent this situation from being permanent by not marrying him? (((hugs)))
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
My wife drinks once a week, tonight she had two glasses of wine and is snoring right next to me.
I might take a video and show her in the morning... She loves that.... Not!!
I might end up having to sleep with one of the kids.
But then I'll get little elbows and knees coming at me all night.
And the couch is 5 ft long and I'm 6ft 2
I might take a video and show her in the morning... She loves that.... Not!!
I might end up having to sleep with one of the kids.
But then I'll get little elbows and knees coming at me all night.
And the couch is 5 ft long and I'm 6ft 2
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 349
I really have no advice to give, except that knowing how I am drunk and through all these years of my own drinking, I would never, not ever, go out with another drunk. It might sound hypocritical and I am sure it does, but I truly do not like being around drunks very much.
It may very well be I get this from my extreme dislike of my father years ago when he was drunk. I never understood at that time why my mother married him.
Good luck CG.
It may very well be I get this from my extreme dislike of my father years ago when he was drunk. I never understood at that time why my mother married him.
Good luck CG.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
You need a longer couch! Lol! My daughter is like sleeping with an epileptic octopus and my dog paralyzes the whole bottom half of me when I sleep on the couch. He's not allowed on the furniture but he knows when we are sleeping.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 226
Hi CountryGirl - I'm sorry for what you are dealing & living with. Your resentment and anger will only become stronger if something doesn't change. If you're upset now, just think of how you will feel in a few weeks....
Hang in, be strong and do what you feel is best for you.
Hang in, be strong and do what you feel is best for you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 651
Originally Posted by Cecilia44
I really have no advice to give, except that knowing how I am drunk and through all these years of my own drinking, I would never, not ever, go out with another drunk. It might sound hypocritical and I am sure it does, but I truly do not like being around drunks very much.
It may very well be I get this from my extreme dislike of my father years ago when he was drunk. I never understood at that time why my mother married him.
Good luck CG.
It may very well be I get this from my extreme dislike of my father years ago when he was drunk. I never understood at that time why my mother married him.
Good luck CG.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
There are many benefits that come with accumulating sober time and working at building a better life, CG. Clarity of thought, vision and decisiveness are among them.
You don't at the moment need to make any lasting decisions about anything besides staying sober.
You don't at the moment need to make any lasting decisions about anything besides staying sober.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
CountryGirl. Vent away!
Your engaged for a reason right?
I know for me that when my wife was pregnant with our first child I drank through out the entire thing. Right up until the due date. In fact my son was born on the due date. Nothing like walking into a hospital with a bottle and a half of wine in your system while wife was in labor. I regret it still to this day.
Here we are 2 1/2 years later and shes pregnant again with our second. Something changed for me this time. Along with some real health scares I vowed to myself and to her that I'd never drink again. I share this in hopes that something big inspires your fiancé to wake up. Some pivotal moment that inspires him to be a better man for his and your future.
Your engaged for a reason right?
I know for me that when my wife was pregnant with our first child I drank through out the entire thing. Right up until the due date. In fact my son was born on the due date. Nothing like walking into a hospital with a bottle and a half of wine in your system while wife was in labor. I regret it still to this day.
Here we are 2 1/2 years later and shes pregnant again with our second. Something changed for me this time. Along with some real health scares I vowed to myself and to her that I'd never drink again. I share this in hopes that something big inspires your fiancé to wake up. Some pivotal moment that inspires him to be a better man for his and your future.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Countrygirl, first of all, I'm glad you are okay for now. I'm glad your situation isn't unmanageable for you, yet. It's good you are able to take some time and make plans.
I'm also glad that you have reconsidered marrying your fiancé. You are making the right choice for yourself.
I'm also glad that you have reconsidered marrying your fiancé. You are making the right choice for yourself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 135
hey Countrygirl,
I'm not really in a place to give advice or wisdom, but i can kind of relate. I didn't really notice how my husband acted or cared for that matter when we were both drunk. But the other night I wasn't drinking and he was quite buzzed. HE WAS SO ANNOYING!!! He wouldn't stop talking, and it was that sleepy voice. Then he started some imaginary conflict, accused me of not caring about him and stormed off to bed.
I hope I can be a good influence...so far it's not going so well but I'm struggling
I'm not really in a place to give advice or wisdom, but i can kind of relate. I didn't really notice how my husband acted or cared for that matter when we were both drunk. But the other night I wasn't drinking and he was quite buzzed. HE WAS SO ANNOYING!!! He wouldn't stop talking, and it was that sleepy voice. Then he started some imaginary conflict, accused me of not caring about him and stormed off to bed.
I hope I can be a good influence...so far it's not going so well but I'm struggling
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Omg I remember me having imaginary conflicts. Ewwww how embarrasing. I feel better after my meeting anyway. I don't know what to do with him right now. Maybe I'll leave some aa pamphlets laying in the bathroom. There's one that says "do I need AA?" He can read it In The upstairs bathroom after regretting whatever he did the night before that left him alone in the bed. He does know it's wrong.
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Congratulations on your sober time Countrygirl.You are living in a difficult situation,if your fiance is an Alcohoic,things will get worse that is a certainty.
You must put your sobriety first,getting angry is a luxury us Alcoholics can't afford,it so often ends in a relapse.
Think carefully about what you are going to do.
I wish you well.
You must put your sobriety first,getting angry is a luxury us Alcoholics can't afford,it so often ends in a relapse.
Think carefully about what you are going to do.
I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 374
I know all too well the resentments, the smelling of booze on their breath...the snoring...the unwanted "cuddles" ...the pit in your stomach and the anger you feel toward that person you are counting on to be your partner. It really sucks! I left my first husband due to his alcoholism ( I was sober ) and reading your first post brought it all back to me. We had 2 boys, and there is a large age gap between the 2. I left him when my youngest was 18 months old, because I could not allow my younger son to go through what my older one went through. Big hugs.
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